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2010年10月31日星期日
Dilemma
I really need time and a lone space to think about it now.
It's been too many pressure and money and time and energy had wasted without any payback.
I'm torn in a dilemma between responsibility and worthy.
Yes, being responsibility is a good thing.
But no matter how hard or how much you've put yourself in, and there's nothing for payback, you'll start thinking, why the hell should i work this hard?
Plus, i'm a student without any income and i still depend on my parent (in a way).
I've wasted that much money and time just to get one work done.
At the end of the day, i dont get much payback.
It felt a little heartache.
And i really need money and time to get things done.
Yes, when this first came to mind, i should take action.
Instead i told myself, maybe things will get much more easier after this.
And yes, i have got no balls to think deeply.
So i just let the problem grows.
And now, the problem now had affect my daily life.
It had make my surroundings grew more concern and worries.
For your record, i hate this damn much.
I never like people to worry my that much.
As if i cant live my life independently.
As if i need something to be strong.
No!
This is not what i want.
I always wish to be a strong girl without any support.
It had been my wish since i was 13.
Right now, i need a space to think thoroughly.
What is worth for me to stay?
What's the reason that i should stay?
Should i give up or stay?
In the end of the day, do i get back equally as i've done?
And i need the answer now...
*
Finally, the first assignment for 2nd sem had finished and hand in.
Still remember how rushed we were.
Everyone was busy with the assignment and no one give a damn to Pengajian Malaysia. (Ooops~)
First assignment for this semester was Photography and Digital Image.
We were asked to shoot a studio shoot.
It was quite hard at the beginning.
There were too many themes and we couldnt choose one.
In the end, it was Nikki came out an idea of doing masquerade.
And everyone agreed with it.
So off we went for searching masks.
The model supposedly was Eunice's friend.
But she got things to do, and luckily Eunice found her cousin, and we all had to agreed.
During the photo shoot also given us a lot of trouble.
But thank Buddha, we did it on time.
Lastly, to choose five pictures and 1 features from it.
Chosen and start doing editing with photoshop.
Again it was quite hard in a way.
Still, we manage to do it and we hope that lecturer will not be disappointed with it.
Develop the pictures out and stick it on a mounting board.
Some more need to measure the boarder line.
You should see how we were in the class.
No one actually did listen to the lecture.
We were all rushing to meet the deadline.
Which is at 5pm.
Around 4:45pm, the lecturer had given up and he left the classroom.
I felt so sorry for him.
But who cares at that moment, we were all rushing to meet deadline.
Well, in the end, we did make it on time.
Hope everything will turn out fine.
End of reporting first assignment.
Now gotta start for the second assignment.
><
*
I know i'm suck but i was thinking not to contact with him for a period of time.
I've told him everything what i'm going through now and i think i had spoiled his day.
I felt bad for him.
So, i came out an idea.
Stop contact with him until i get things solve.
I know i sound selfish.
But i just dont want him to feel so worry for me.
And i dont want to keep spilling all these problems to him anymore.
He's innocent and he cant do anything but just listen.
I feel so bad and suck whenever i end the conversation with him.
I hope he's not mad with my idea.
I just want him to stay out of this until i get things solve...
It's been too many pressure and money and time and energy had wasted without any payback.
I'm torn in a dilemma between responsibility and worthy.
Yes, being responsibility is a good thing.
But no matter how hard or how much you've put yourself in, and there's nothing for payback, you'll start thinking, why the hell should i work this hard?
Plus, i'm a student without any income and i still depend on my parent (in a way).
I've wasted that much money and time just to get one work done.
At the end of the day, i dont get much payback.
It felt a little heartache.
And i really need money and time to get things done.
Yes, when this first came to mind, i should take action.
Instead i told myself, maybe things will get much more easier after this.
And yes, i have got no balls to think deeply.
So i just let the problem grows.
And now, the problem now had affect my daily life.
It had make my surroundings grew more concern and worries.
For your record, i hate this damn much.
I never like people to worry my that much.
As if i cant live my life independently.
As if i need something to be strong.
No!
This is not what i want.
I always wish to be a strong girl without any support.
It had been my wish since i was 13.
Right now, i need a space to think thoroughly.
What is worth for me to stay?
What's the reason that i should stay?
Should i give up or stay?
In the end of the day, do i get back equally as i've done?
And i need the answer now...
*
Finally, the first assignment for 2nd sem had finished and hand in.
Still remember how rushed we were.
Everyone was busy with the assignment and no one give a damn to Pengajian Malaysia. (Ooops~)
First assignment for this semester was Photography and Digital Image.
We were asked to shoot a studio shoot.
It was quite hard at the beginning.
There were too many themes and we couldnt choose one.
In the end, it was Nikki came out an idea of doing masquerade.
And everyone agreed with it.
So off we went for searching masks.
The model supposedly was Eunice's friend.
But she got things to do, and luckily Eunice found her cousin, and we all had to agreed.
During the photo shoot also given us a lot of trouble.
But thank Buddha, we did it on time.
Lastly, to choose five pictures and 1 features from it.
Chosen and start doing editing with photoshop.
Again it was quite hard in a way.
Still, we manage to do it and we hope that lecturer will not be disappointed with it.
Develop the pictures out and stick it on a mounting board.
Some more need to measure the boarder line.
You should see how we were in the class.
No one actually did listen to the lecture.
We were all rushing to meet the deadline.
Which is at 5pm.
Around 4:45pm, the lecturer had given up and he left the classroom.
I felt so sorry for him.
But who cares at that moment, we were all rushing to meet deadline.
Well, in the end, we did make it on time.
Hope everything will turn out fine.
End of reporting first assignment.
Now gotta start for the second assignment.
><
*
I know i'm suck but i was thinking not to contact with him for a period of time.
I've told him everything what i'm going through now and i think i had spoiled his day.
I felt bad for him.
So, i came out an idea.
Stop contact with him until i get things solve.
I know i sound selfish.
But i just dont want him to feel so worry for me.
And i dont want to keep spilling all these problems to him anymore.
He's innocent and he cant do anything but just listen.
I feel so bad and suck whenever i end the conversation with him.
I hope he's not mad with my idea.
I just want him to stay out of this until i get things solve...
2010年10月29日星期五
压力
最近的心情起伏超大的。
连我自己有时都吓倒。
该不会又是压力吧？
真的很讨厌“压力”这个东西。
可是我们就是因为“压力”而变坚强，或者脆弱。
但，我只能说这些压力都是我自己找来的。
责任心强，被人责骂一下就会开始责怪自己，什么事都要求有点完美，没有耐心。。。
就是因为这些，压力才开始慢慢地在我心中蔓延。
唉~
还是真的要检讨自己了。。。
*
唉~
也因为这个压力，这个学期的功课都没能好好享受。
就像今天刚刚交的Photography功课，我都觉得自己没什么帮到。
也没什么享受到整个过程。
真的很内疚。
我就真的那么差吗？
（幸亏我不是组长，不然真的很对不起组员们。）
就连现在sociology的报告呈现，我都算是随便给组员们事情。
到现在我都还没开始监督他们。
唉~
天啊~
我就是很讨厌这样的风格/作风。
这并不是我要的风格。
而且这样对我而言，真的很挫败。
完全都没给于组员一个时限和要求来完成。
但，我这么做都是为了大家的分数和和蔼相处。
啊~~~~~~
我不要这样啦~
救命啊~~~
*
连我自己有时都吓倒。
该不会又是压力吧？
真的很讨厌“压力”这个东西。
可是我们就是因为“压力”而变坚强，或者脆弱。
但，我只能说这些压力都是我自己找来的。
责任心强，被人责骂一下就会开始责怪自己，什么事都要求有点完美，没有耐心。。。
就是因为这些，压力才开始慢慢地在我心中蔓延。
最近也一直在反问自己，到底真的是我错吗？
还是是另一方的错？
可是这时我的选择，我就应该事情会发生的。
这是我的性格，我早该就让自己醒目点。
偏偏事情全都在我心情超低落时，找上门来。
造成自己的内心一直很不平静。
一直在责怪的贪心。
每天都在做一样的事情。
还是是另一方的错？
可是这时我的选择，我就应该事情会发生的。
这是我的性格，我早该就让自己醒目点。
偏偏事情全都在我心情超低落时，找上门来。
造成自己的内心一直很不平静。
一直在责怪的贪心。
每天都在做一样的事情。
唉~
还是真的要检讨自己了。。。
*
唉~
也因为这个压力，这个学期的功课都没能好好享受。
就像今天刚刚交的Photography功课，我都觉得自己没什么帮到。
也没什么享受到整个过程。
真的很内疚。
我就真的那么差吗？
（幸亏我不是组长，不然真的很对不起组员们。）
就连现在sociology的报告呈现，我都算是随便给组员们事情。
到现在我都还没开始监督他们。
唉~
天啊~
我就是很讨厌这样的风格/作风。
这并不是我要的风格。
而且这样对我而言，真的很挫败。
完全都没给于组员一个时限和要求来完成。
但，我这么做都是为了大家的分数和和蔼相处。
啊~~~~~~
我不要这样啦~
救命啊~~~
*
2010年10月27日星期三
Happy Birthday Daddy!
Woohoo~
27th of October 2010.
Someone had turn 45 years old.
Haha~
It's none other than my Daddy!
Well, we didnt really celebrate his birthday.
And i'm so sorry that i did not prepare any present to him.
Instead i gave him much more worries.
Guess i'm not such a filial kid.
>.<
Anyway, just wanna say, Happy Birthday Daddy!
Thank you so much that you had done to us.
Especially i want to try help out.
You're always my true hero.
And a hero will always remain in someone's heart deeply.
You know i love you, Daddy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!
I LOVE YOU <3
*
"It's my choice and i have to bear it."
That's what i've been telling myself for the past few days.
I dont want to talk much here.
And, basically, i really cant talk about it too.
But then, it had been haunting me.
And i had to hypnotize myself to make myself happy.
Yes, indeed, it is my choice.
I couldnt say much than to either accept or bear with it.
It's just how i will express and filter it.
Daddy told me not to over-committed.
And i guess i have to carve it in my heart now.
I shant act like that from the beginning.
And it's now tormenting me, inside deeply.
But now, i only had one simple wish: sleep well in the night and wake up without having those thoughts ruining my day...
*
I want to say sorry and thanks to him very much.
I've been emo for the past few days and he was the one who listen to all of it.
I tried to control myself not to let the emotion buried me, but i cant.
And he came to rescue me when i was drowning.
He listened quietly to all my words and emotion.
He didnt give much comment but asks me not to think much.
He had given me a comfort whenever i'm spilling out my emotion.
He just being himself that i always knew.
Dear, I'm sorry that i had ruin your day by listening my crap.
But you just show up and i was like grabbing a buoy to keep myself survive.
I've learn that whatever happened, we must need to spill it out and keep on moving.
You taught me this lesson.
I am so grateful and apologetic at the same time.
Dear, i just wish you were here...
27th of October 2010.
Someone had turn 45 years old.
Haha~
It's none other than my Daddy!
Well, we didnt really celebrate his birthday.
And i'm so sorry that i did not prepare any present to him.
Instead i gave him much more worries.
Guess i'm not such a filial kid.
>.<
Anyway, just wanna say, Happy Birthday Daddy!
Thank you so much that you had done to us.
Especially i want to try help out.
You're always my true hero.
And a hero will always remain in someone's heart deeply.
You know i love you, Daddy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!
I LOVE YOU <3
*
"It's my choice and i have to bear it."
That's what i've been telling myself for the past few days.
I dont want to talk much here.
And, basically, i really cant talk about it too.
But then, it had been haunting me.
And i had to hypnotize myself to make myself happy.
Yes, indeed, it is my choice.
I couldnt say much than to either accept or bear with it.
It's just how i will express and filter it.
Daddy told me not to over-committed.
And i guess i have to carve it in my heart now.
I shant act like that from the beginning.
And it's now tormenting me, inside deeply.
But now, i only had one simple wish: sleep well in the night and wake up without having those thoughts ruining my day...
*
I want to say sorry and thanks to him very much.
I've been emo for the past few days and he was the one who listen to all of it.
I tried to control myself not to let the emotion buried me, but i cant.
And he came to rescue me when i was drowning.
He listened quietly to all my words and emotion.
He didnt give much comment but asks me not to think much.
He had given me a comfort whenever i'm spilling out my emotion.
He just being himself that i always knew.
Dear, I'm sorry that i had ruin your day by listening my crap.
But you just show up and i was like grabbing a buoy to keep myself survive.
I've learn that whatever happened, we must need to spill it out and keep on moving.
You taught me this lesson.
I am so grateful and apologetic at the same time.
Dear, i just wish you were here...
2010年10月25日星期一
累。。。
昨天从一个蛮失败的活动回来。
浪费钱，车油，时间和精神在那边。
在前几个星期，讲师就决定和一个活动一起合作。
要我们把这个当作是我们的功课。
我们就是要负责查资料，和设计游戏。
当然如果想卖糕点，也是欢迎。
所以我们整班人都很兴致勃勃地策划这一切。
甚至在星期六晚上，大家都开始紧张，有点手忙脚乱。
开始想到底还有哪里需要人手，东西全都准备好了没。。。
隔天早上，由于我家离那个地方不远，所以我就从我家出发。
早上6点45分就醒了。
7点半出发，还绕到ktm去载Nikki和Ian。
然后8点就到了。
那个地方真的好偏僻。
有种让人找不到的感觉。
我们甚至还一直担心到底有没有人会出席。
果然，我们担心成真。
我们就是那样地坐了一整天。
游戏的材料就是那样的作废。
还有糕点有生意。
脸上彩绘都只做到那么一个人而已。
但，往好的方面想，至少我们大家都在聚在一起。
时间虽然浪费了，但我觉得值得。
平常大家都算是各自忙各自的。
可是我们就是聚在一起，很多疯狂的事情我们都开始谈了。
就是昨天的缘故，今天在班上很莫名地平静许多。
可能与大家都有了深一层的交谈，整个人也放心把自己搅入环境里。
至于那个功课，真的很难交待。。。
>,<
*
最近回到家都很少交谈。
应该说，很不想开口聊天。
整个人就是累到不想摊开心胸聊天。
我很了解，我这样的行为，让我的父母担心了。
可是我就是不能控制我自己。
常常有人跟我聊天，我就很想逃离现场，不想听到任何与我对谈的声音。
可以说，已经开始有点反感那个声音。
我很清楚，我是因为被“累”折磨到这样的。
可是我到底搞了什么来，我就不知道。
只知道，只要我一踏进家门口，那个疲倦感就席卷而来。
整个人超累的。
但，大可放心，我还是我。
不会做傻事的。
只是就让我一个人静静。。。
*
老实说，我还真的要跟他道歉。
上面所说，真的没法骗人。
每次与他聊天，我都像在戴面具那样。
强迫自己开心，很关心他似的。
可是事实就是相反。
我真的很不想去理什么东西。
但一想到这机会和时间真的很难的，自己才强迫自己要打起精神来。
有时真的忍不住，语气和用词就重了些。
可是就是不能控制。
我不知道他是否知道。
我只知道，我就是要尽量不要伤害到他。
浪费钱，车油，时间和精神在那边。
在前几个星期，讲师就决定和一个活动一起合作。
要我们把这个当作是我们的功课。
我们就是要负责查资料，和设计游戏。
当然如果想卖糕点，也是欢迎。
所以我们整班人都很兴致勃勃地策划这一切。
甚至在星期六晚上，大家都开始紧张，有点手忙脚乱。
开始想到底还有哪里需要人手，东西全都准备好了没。。。
隔天早上，由于我家离那个地方不远，所以我就从我家出发。
早上6点45分就醒了。
7点半出发，还绕到ktm去载Nikki和Ian。
然后8点就到了。
那个地方真的好偏僻。
有种让人找不到的感觉。
我们甚至还一直担心到底有没有人会出席。
果然，我们担心成真。
我们就是那样地坐了一整天。
游戏的材料就是那样的作废。
还有糕点有生意。
脸上彩绘都只做到那么一个人而已。
但，往好的方面想，至少我们大家都在聚在一起。
时间虽然浪费了，但我觉得值得。
平常大家都算是各自忙各自的。
可是我们就是聚在一起，很多疯狂的事情我们都开始谈了。
就是昨天的缘故，今天在班上很莫名地平静许多。
可能与大家都有了深一层的交谈，整个人也放心把自己搅入环境里。
至于那个功课，真的很难交待。。。
>,<
*
最近回到家都很少交谈。
应该说，很不想开口聊天。
整个人就是累到不想摊开心胸聊天。
我很了解，我这样的行为，让我的父母担心了。
可是我就是不能控制我自己。
常常有人跟我聊天，我就很想逃离现场，不想听到任何与我对谈的声音。
可以说，已经开始有点反感那个声音。
我很清楚，我是因为被“累”折磨到这样的。
可是我到底搞了什么来，我就不知道。
只知道，只要我一踏进家门口，那个疲倦感就席卷而来。
整个人超累的。
但，大可放心，我还是我。
不会做傻事的。
只是就让我一个人静静。。。
*
老实说，我还真的要跟他道歉。
上面所说，真的没法骗人。
每次与他聊天，我都像在戴面具那样。
强迫自己开心，很关心他似的。
可是事实就是相反。
我真的很不想去理什么东西。
但一想到这机会和时间真的很难的，自己才强迫自己要打起精神来。
有时真的忍不住，语气和用词就重了些。
可是就是不能控制。
我不知道他是否知道。
我只知道，我就是要尽量不要伤害到他。
所以，亲爱的，真的很对不起。
你一定要原谅我。
我真的不是故意的。。。
你一定要原谅我。
我真的不是故意的。。。
2010年10月23日星期六
Beautiful Saturday @@
Saturday.
Supposedly a beautiful day to stay in bed for a while.
Make some more beautiful dream.
Enjoy the moment when you trying to force yourself out from bed.
But then, all of these had spoiled by college.
Cause in this beautiful Saturday morning, i gotta attend a class.
Some more it's Pengajian Malaysia.
Haiz~
I've ruined my beautiful morning.
Ya, just came back from college.
The attendance for today is only like not more than 15 people.
Bravo~ DMC 201004!
Class also ended around 11:30am.
Sent Pee Yee back, and i'm on my way back home.
Arrive at house's gate, realized i didnt bring house key and there's no one in home.
Was thinking where to head, pressing my phone book for quite awhile.
In the end, i called cousin.
Asked where she was, can we have lunch together and pass me a house key.
She said she's still at office and am welcome to have lunch together.
So off i went to Kota Damansara to look for her.
Had lunch with her at Hoagiez, Sunway Giza.
We gossiped quite a lot there.
Haha~
Wont say who you are, but you know who you are.
Before separate, she passed me a house key and went back home.
Taa-daa, and now, here i am.
Haha~
What a beautiful Saturday.
@@
*
It's raining outside now.
I'm home alone.
Only me and baby lappie with songs playing in hall.
I dont know why, but i fell secure in a way.
It's like i'm protected and i shant be afraid.
Maybe i'm home.
And this is where i belong.
Or maybe i'm just happy that i'm alone with baby lappie.
No one to interfere me.
No other noises to cover my played songs.
I'm a dj now.
A dj whose alone in her house.
Sounds cool and creepy.
But then, i'm home.
Secure and safely.
*
Oh my~
I gotta apologize to him for yesterday.
He asked to finish a task and i was a little perfunctory.
It was my fault.
I was too tired to even smile or make a sound.
Then he came at the wrong timing and i wasnt responding enthusiasm.
Well, but i guess he sensed it, and he keep finding a topic to distract me.
Dear, i'm so sorry what had happened yesterday.
I was just too tired and my mood was so down to the valley.
I couldnt control myself, instead i let it flow through me.
I was kinda upset by myself.
But you were there.
And i felt safe and relax.
Thank you very much.
I was just too tired and my mood was so down to the valley.
I couldnt control myself, instead i let it flow through me.
I was kinda upset by myself.
But you were there.
And i felt safe and relax.
Thank you very much.
I miss you...
2010年10月21日星期四
Pee Yee，生日快乐！
今天是Pee Yee的生日哦~
哈哈~
真抱歉啦~
我没准备什么东西送你，下次请你吃东西就对了。
但，怎样都好，Pee Yee, 18岁了！
可以去申请你那梦寐以求的Alliance Bank Debit Card。
哈哈~
Pee Yee，真感恩能让你我相遇而成为朋友。
你永远都是最棒的哦！
生日快乐！ xD
*
都不知道最近是不是压力的关系，常常会忘东忘西，不然手中的东西很容易掉了，再不然会突然慌神。
唉~
真的很困扰。
难道我的抗压能力就那么低？
这么一点点就被打败了？
天啊~之前的那个李依琳在哪里呢？
为何她会缩在某个角落了？
她，还会回来吗？
厚~
有时对着镜子会问自己。
可是答案还是远远看不见。
我不要酱的生活。
也不想再继续酱下去了。
真的很烦，很困扰，很闷。
那个立志要坚强的我，已经在哪里了？
势要找回来。
一定要！
*
那天因为朋友无聊，两人玩起视频来，可是却忽略了他。
那个朋友只是要找人陪她。
因为和男友分了，心情不好，就无聊起来。
看着她，顿时觉得自己蛮幸福的。
至少我一直以来都有个答案。
这个答案都很清楚，也不会再看不清了。
亲爱的，我真的很想你。。。
哈哈~
真抱歉啦~
我没准备什么东西送你，下次请你吃东西就对了。
说起来，我们都已经认识了有半年的时间。
从不熟悉，到现在可以疯疯癫癫。
还时不时给我当消遣。（不好意思啦~只是有时会想逗逗你 =p）
说到她，还真的有时让我挺欣赏的。
尤其她那大剌剌的性格。
虽然英语说得不是很好，可是她不知每次拿来的勇气，都会想要去挑战某样东西。
而且都是很尽力的去完成。
有时看到她那副样子，我自己都会感到有点惭愧。
从不熟悉，到现在可以疯疯癫癫。
还时不时给我当消遣。（不好意思啦~只是有时会想逗逗你 =p）
说到她，还真的有时让我挺欣赏的。
尤其她那大剌剌的性格。
虽然英语说得不是很好，可是她不知每次拿来的勇气，都会想要去挑战某样东西。
而且都是很尽力的去完成。
有时看到她那副样子，我自己都会感到有点惭愧。
但，怎样都好，Pee Yee, 18岁了！
可以去申请你那梦寐以求的Alliance Bank Debit Card。
哈哈~
Pee Yee，真感恩能让你我相遇而成为朋友。
你永远都是最棒的哦！
生日快乐！ xD
*
都不知道最近是不是压力的关系，常常会忘东忘西，不然手中的东西很容易掉了，再不然会突然慌神。
唉~
真的很困扰。
难道我的抗压能力就那么低？
这么一点点就被打败了？
天啊~之前的那个李依琳在哪里呢？
为何她会缩在某个角落了？
她，还会回来吗？
厚~
有时对着镜子会问自己。
可是答案还是远远看不见。
我不要酱的生活。
也不想再继续酱下去了。
真的很烦，很困扰，很闷。
那个立志要坚强的我，已经在哪里了？
势要找回来。
一定要！
*
那天因为朋友无聊，两人玩起视频来，可是却忽略了他。
那个朋友只是要找人陪她。
因为和男友分了，心情不好，就无聊起来。
看着她，顿时觉得自己蛮幸福的。
至少我一直以来都有个答案。
这个答案都很清楚，也不会再看不清了。
亲爱的，我真的很想你。。。
2010年10月19日星期二
Mockingbird by Eminem
Yeah
I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What you crying about?
You got me...
Hailie I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad
When I'm gone, but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
Cuz you're scared, I ain't there?
Daddy's with you in your prayers
No more crying, wipe them tears
Daddy's here, no more nightmares
We gonna pull together through it, we gonna do it
Lainnie uncle's crazy, aint he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Lookin' puzzled, in a daze
I know it's confusing you
Daddy's always on the move, mamma's always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me
All the things growing up as daddy that he had to see
Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did
We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me
But things have got so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be when we was teenagers
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over
and that's what destiny is,
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream
[Chorus]
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upperlip up little lady, i told ya
Daddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby,
But i promise momma's gon' be alright
It's funny
I remember back when you and daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up
And stuck 'em under the tree and said some of 'em were from me
Cuz daddy couldn't buy 'em
I'll never forget that Christmas I sat up the whole night crying
Cuz daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broken into and robbed
Or shot up on the block and your mom was saving money for you in a jar
Trying to start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma's heart
And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart
Mom and dad was arguin' a lot so momma moved back
Onto Chalmers in a flat one bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara
And that's when daddy went to California with his CD and met Dr. Dre
And flew you and momma out to see me
But daddy had to work, you and momma had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the T.V. and momma didn't like it
And you and Lainnie were to young to understand it
Papa was a rollin' stone, momma developed a habit
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now I'm sittin in this empty house, just reminiscing
Lookin' at your baby pictures, it just triks me out
To see how much you both have grown, it's almost like you're sisters now
Wow, I guess you pretty much are and daddy's still here
Lainnie I'm talkin' to you too, daddy's still here
I like the sound of that, yeah,
It's got a ring to it don't it?
Shh, momma's only gone for the moment
[Chorus]
And if you ask me too
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine
I'mma break that birdies neck
I'll go back to the jeweler who sold it to ya
and make him eat every carat
don't fuck with dad (haha)
*
19/10/2010
It may seem like another ordinary day.
But for our family, it's a special day.
How special it was?
Well, you see, 19 years ago, my parent decided to get engaged and start a family.
They did some beautiful shot and 19 years later, they became a memory that can be stored forever.
My damn beautiful Mummy!
Got Lee Hom feel, right?Haha~ Damn handsome Daddy!
And there!Buddha made them together.
And now, here they are.
After 19 years of managing marriage, and now here they are.
With three monsters, and loving and caring family, they are still holding hand together.
Daddy and Mummy,
Thank you for being together and brought us here.
There were times you guys are having a fight or bad times, but we still keep on and here we are right now.
Last of all,
HAPPY 19TH ANNIVERSARY!!!
*
Haiz~
Weather had been showing no mercy on him.
Why must the weather changed so sudden?
I mean he's sick again and i'm not there.
Damn worry...
Dear, i miss you so much...
2010年10月17日星期日
生日快乐！
呵呵~
连续几天都在忙着学校社团的事情。
不过当然，妹妹和朋友的生日，怎能不放下一切呢？
15号那天，是我家的小妹的生日。
应着小妹的要求，我们到T.G.I. Friday去享用晚餐。
当晚可以算是蛮难忘的。
那里的工作人员对小妹开了玩笑，也唱了好多歌曲。
结帐以后，我们又到一间酒吧“Tao”小啜一两杯德国啤酒。
也和家人聊了很多。
大概11点多就回家了。
接下来，就是昨天。
小君的生日。
小君是在17号生日的。
但我们打算在凌晨12点就弄个惊喜给她。
全部人大概11点半就在Stef的家集合了。
当中发生了一些小插曲，我也不想再提起。
12点准，我们就在小君家前面了。
吹了蜡烛，我们就街上搞了超多疯狂的事情。
玩到接近1点，才回到家。
想对你们两位说：“生日快乐！”
很抱歉，我没有送礼物给你们。
但，就是因为有你们，我才是现在的我。
你们两位在我生命中带来了无限的欢乐，惊喜，甚至教训。
你们两位都是无可取代的。
谢谢你们。
也祝福你们两位要永远快快乐乐哦~
我爱你们！！！
*
最近都被自己搞到有点沮丧。
都一直在胡思乱想。
然后压力就慢慢堆积。
然后情绪就受到影响。
然后放弃的念头就一直不断不断地出现。
战争后，一定是累的心力交瘁。
可是，我还是打起精神了，把该完成的，都统统给它完成。
有时会觉得少了些什么的。
就是说不上来。
但，这几天的放松，反而显得我好累。
好像很难的有时间可以休息了。
也好吧~
有时间可以累。
哈哈~
算是充电时期。
我还是可以加油的！
*
这几天都在没什么时间上网，也没什么机会能与他聊天。
可是心还是有想念哦~
无时无刻。
呵呵~
亲爱的，很想你哦~
连续几天都在忙着学校社团的事情。
不过当然，妹妹和朋友的生日，怎能不放下一切呢？
15号那天，是我家的小妹的生日。
应着小妹的要求，我们到T.G.I. Friday去享用晚餐。
当晚可以算是蛮难忘的。
那里的工作人员对小妹开了玩笑，也唱了好多歌曲。
结帐以后，我们又到一间酒吧“Tao”小啜一两杯德国啤酒。
也和家人聊了很多。
大概11点多就回家了。
接下来，就是昨天。
小君的生日。
小君是在17号生日的。
但我们打算在凌晨12点就弄个惊喜给她。
全部人大概11点半就在Stef的家集合了。
当中发生了一些小插曲，我也不想再提起。
12点准，我们就在小君家前面了。
吹了蜡烛，我们就街上搞了超多疯狂的事情。
玩到接近1点，才回到家。
想对你们两位说：“生日快乐！”
很抱歉，我没有送礼物给你们。
但，就是因为有你们，我才是现在的我。
你们两位在我生命中带来了无限的欢乐，惊喜，甚至教训。
你们两位都是无可取代的。
谢谢你们。
也祝福你们两位要永远快快乐乐哦~
我爱你们！！！
*
最近都被自己搞到有点沮丧。
都一直在胡思乱想。
然后压力就慢慢堆积。
然后情绪就受到影响。
然后放弃的念头就一直不断不断地出现。
最终，还是打了内战，那个坚强且不可以放弃的态度战胜了。
战争后，一定是累的心力交瘁。
可是，我还是打起精神了，把该完成的，都统统给它完成。
有时会觉得少了些什么的。
就是说不上来。
但，这几天的放松，反而显得我好累。
好像很难的有时间可以休息了。
也好吧~
有时间可以累。
哈哈~
算是充电时期。
我还是可以加油的！
*
这几天都在没什么时间上网，也没什么机会能与他聊天。
可是心还是有想念哦~
无时无刻。
呵呵~
亲爱的，很想你哦~
2010年10月13日星期三
Stressed...
Things getting heat up recently.
I dont know how to tell in words, but, yes, i was kinda stress.
All these stress just came out from nowhere.
And i wasnt prepare for it.
I was damn emo for the past few days.
I might look happy in sometime, but no one knows that i was destroying myself inside.
I kept blaming myself for accepting so much works in one time.
I kept telling myself, how the heck am i supposed to invest everything to it.
Those words had been haunting me till now.
Argh~
I will be totally convince if someone told me, that this is one of PMS's trait.
I would be totally grateful and feel survive.
I just gotta keep myself head high.
Give out everything that i had in myself.
And give it a full shot.
In the same time, i will keep consulting myself to be me again...
*
Ok.
Now i know i really need get a thing.
And i need it ASAP.
I NEED A HARD DISC!
Need to go shop for one.
There are so many things that need to be save in my baby laptop and pendrive.
I really do scare that they are overloaded.
Therefore, a good solution is to get one hard disc.
Need to save up money to get one.
Hard Disc, here i come!
*
I dont know how to tell in words, but, yes, i was kinda stress.
All these stress just came out from nowhere.
And i wasnt prepare for it.
I was damn emo for the past few days.
I might look happy in sometime, but no one knows that i was destroying myself inside.
I kept blaming myself for accepting so much works in one time.
I kept telling myself, how the heck am i supposed to invest everything to it.
Those words had been haunting me till now.
I cant really get a good night sleep.
I cant really eat well.
I always giving out 200% energy to my daily life.
In the end, i am tired but i couldnt get a good night sleep.
I cant really eat well.
I always giving out 200% energy to my daily life.
In the end, i am tired but i couldnt get a good night sleep.
Argh~
I will be totally convince if someone told me, that this is one of PMS's trait.
I would be totally grateful and feel survive.
I just gotta keep myself head high.
Give out everything that i had in myself.
And give it a full shot.
In the same time, i will keep consulting myself to be me again...
*
Ok.
Now i know i really need get a thing.
And i need it ASAP.
I NEED A HARD DISC!
Need to go shop for one.
There are so many things that need to be save in my baby laptop and pendrive.
I really do scare that they are overloaded.
Therefore, a good solution is to get one hard disc.
Need to save up money to get one.
Hard Disc, here i come!
*
2010年10月11日星期一
舒服了很多 ^^
厚~
真的很不想度过明天。
但，一想到，明天将会是责任满满的一天，内心的某个深处又开始发挥了。
仿佛我真的天生就是“工作狂”。
先说说明天的行程吧~
早上8.30 - 要起见客户。把今天拿到的全部资料，明天一一呈现给客户。（希望我过关。。。）
早上10.30 - 去见学长和老师，拿一些即将接手的客户自己。（希望我还是能过关。。。）
早上11.30 - 也是见客户。只是这次会和大家一起跟客户讨论。（一样的希望。。。）
下午12.30 - 上课。开始讨论assignment了。也跟讲师请教。（这个可以暂时休息。。。）
下午3.00 - 跟组员讨论客户要的东西。（希望我活着。。。）
行程大概就是这样。
都不知道要怎样吃东西？
不过我一做工起来，就好像会忘了吃东西。。。
^.^
算了，熬过明天再来打算。
加油！
*
在这之前，我都一直处于超忧郁的状态。
因为当时全部东西一次过降临在我身上。
而自己又不懂要在哪发泄才比较好。
所以就全部东西都往自己心里塞。
一直不断地自责和唉声叹气。
那几天的心都是闷闷的。
想找个出口来发泄，但不知哪儿是好。
后来，跟Nikki说了以后，发现自己的心里舒服了许多。
现在也重拾了信心和力量。
虽然还是有点小小的害怕在，但至少我知道了方向。
放心吧~
我还是我的。
^.^
*
呵呵~
有人有小小的进步了哦~
也不错嘛~
现在也有个伴了。
哈哈~
当然你还是有原则可以守。
而我也不会要你去毁它。
只是说，可能他比较会没有那么唠叨了。。。
哈哈~
怎样都好，还是要加油哦~
生病了就好好的养病。
要好好地照顾自己哦~
不要老是令人担心。
>.<
哈哈~
亲爱的，好想你哦~
真的很不想度过明天。
但，一想到，明天将会是责任满满的一天，内心的某个深处又开始发挥了。
仿佛我真的天生就是“工作狂”。
先说说明天的行程吧~
早上8.30 - 要起见客户。把今天拿到的全部资料，明天一一呈现给客户。（希望我过关。。。）
早上10.30 - 去见学长和老师，拿一些即将接手的客户自己。（希望我还是能过关。。。）
早上11.30 - 也是见客户。只是这次会和大家一起跟客户讨论。（一样的希望。。。）
下午12.30 - 上课。开始讨论assignment了。也跟讲师请教。（这个可以暂时休息。。。）
下午3.00 - 跟组员讨论客户要的东西。（希望我活着。。。）
行程大概就是这样。
都不知道要怎样吃东西？
不过我一做工起来，就好像会忘了吃东西。。。
^.^
算了，熬过明天再来打算。
加油！
*
在这之前，我都一直处于超忧郁的状态。
因为当时全部东西一次过降临在我身上。
而自己又不懂要在哪发泄才比较好。
所以就全部东西都往自己心里塞。
一直不断地自责和唉声叹气。
那几天的心都是闷闷的。
想找个出口来发泄，但不知哪儿是好。
后来，跟Nikki说了以后，发现自己的心里舒服了许多。
现在也重拾了信心和力量。
虽然还是有点小小的害怕在，但至少我知道了方向。
真的很不好意思。
可能那段期间让大家担心了。
但，我还是我。
只是偶尔会沮丧，自责，懊恼，甚至有点想躲起来。
随着时间的流逝，我还是会回来的。
回到我本身的身份。
然后就会发挥最大的潜质来完成某样东西。
可能那段期间让大家担心了。
但，我还是我。
只是偶尔会沮丧，自责，懊恼，甚至有点想躲起来。
随着时间的流逝，我还是会回来的。
回到我本身的身份。
然后就会发挥最大的潜质来完成某样东西。
放心吧~
我还是我的。
^.^
*
呵呵~
有人有小小的进步了哦~
也不错嘛~
现在也有个伴了。
哈哈~
当然你还是有原则可以守。
而我也不会要你去毁它。
只是说，可能他比较会没有那么唠叨了。。。
哈哈~
怎样都好，还是要加油哦~
生病了就好好的养病。
要好好地照顾自己哦~
不要老是令人担心。
>.<
哈哈~
亲爱的，好想你哦~
2010年10月9日星期六
I need a time out... =(
If i really fail in Malaysian Studies for this sem, please dont blame me.
I really am disappointed with the lecturer.
He's not really teaching.
Or i prefer, we are not giving damn to him.
Yesterday class, i didnt even listen at all.
I was having fun with the groups and we were kinda like fooling around.
No one actually was serious.
Everyone was fooling around.
Then he will suddenly disappeared for a moment.
When he came back, he told us that the class is dismissed.
It was only 5.30pm and i doubt that the chapter wasnt even finish yet.
But never mind, we are learning back what we've been learning for the past years.
It just need to be translate to english.
That's all.
So, if i ever say, "Fxxx me whenever i'm Malaysian Studies class", i was serious.
*
This few days, daddy and mummy keep asking me, what's bothering me?
Why am i not smiling?
I always told them, it's nothing to be worried about.
And i'm not depressing.
The fact is, i just dont feel like smiling nor express it out.
Somewhere inside my chest was tired.
Tired of being that hyper mood.
It's like, when i'm smiling, there's an echo from chest, telling me that she's tired.
Then i will start sulking and poker face.
I know i'm having depression or whatsoever.
I just feeling tired.
Tired of being a strong girl, period.
Tired of smiling for no reason, period.
Tired of in hyper mood in an empty space, period.
Tired of talking to people, period.
Tired of giving out my expression, period.
I just want to be quiet for a moment...
*
Dear, i miss you...
I really am disappointed with the lecturer.
He's not really teaching.
Or i prefer, we are not giving damn to him.
Yesterday class, i didnt even listen at all.
I was having fun with the groups and we were kinda like fooling around.
No one actually was serious.
Everyone was fooling around.
Then he will suddenly disappeared for a moment.
When he came back, he told us that the class is dismissed.
It was only 5.30pm and i doubt that the chapter wasnt even finish yet.
But never mind, we are learning back what we've been learning for the past years.
It just need to be translate to english.
That's all.
So, if i ever say, "Fxxx me whenever i'm Malaysian Studies class", i was serious.
*
This few days, daddy and mummy keep asking me, what's bothering me?
Why am i not smiling?
I always told them, it's nothing to be worried about.
And i'm not depressing.
The fact is, i just dont feel like smiling nor express it out.
Somewhere inside my chest was tired.
Tired of being that hyper mood.
It's like, when i'm smiling, there's an echo from chest, telling me that she's tired.
Then i will start sulking and poker face.
I know i'm having depression or whatsoever.
I just feeling tired.
Tired of being a strong girl, period.
Tired of smiling for no reason, period.
Tired of in hyper mood in an empty space, period.
Tired of talking to people, period.
Tired of giving out my expression, period.
Sometimes, i just need a time out.
I want to settle down and calm myself down.
I promise, there's nothing unusual things will happen.
I wont do stupid things that will keep you guys worried.
I want to settle down and calm myself down.
I promise, there's nothing unusual things will happen.
I wont do stupid things that will keep you guys worried.
I just want to be quiet for a moment...
*Dear, i miss you...
2010年10月7日星期四
闭门发疯
昨天和家人去电影院看了“狄仁杰之通天帝国”。
整部电影都在看古装侦探片。
故事的情节也一直在牵制你的心和心思。
让你一直在猜想，到底谁是凶手，动机是什么，武则天到底是好是坏，狄仁杰到底是不是真的逆反。。。
总而言之，就是一直在猜测。
演员方面嘛~
两个小时多的剧情，却容易忘了时间，投入进去猜测的心思。
真的值得你的戏票去观赏。
*
众所知，我真的超爱听歌。
一日没听歌，就好象气喘病发作，很难受。
最近都很喜欢：
一直到晚上睡着了，都还听到。
那把声音，就好像在教训我，人就是这么过日子。
而我们的生活中，就是要带点颜色，才会精彩，不会显得那么沉闷。
偶尔听不到歌词，心还是会激情。
会掀起澎湃，会开始问自己，到底自己是不是过的很值得。
是啊~
你可能说，天啊~上面有些歌曲都不是在教训你，还是什么之类的。
可是你知道嘛~
我就是那么奇怪。
那些问题都是随时冒起的。
而且都是听歌时，它会形成，而我就开始找寻答案。
呵呵~
但，它们还是占据了我生活中的一部分。
*
连续两天都与他视频。
有人换了新造型哦~
哈哈~
老实说，还真的蛮帅气的。
也让我不禁回想以前我的造型。
哈哈~
可是，有时我真的很坏，他在说话，我却没给反应。
虽然心内是很开心，很雀跃，可是就是无法表达出来。
每次视频结束后，我都有小小的歉意。
我真的不是故意的，可是就是无法表达。
亲爱的，你真的很帅哦~
也请原谅我最近的反应。
不知是最近的心都历经了很多，开始收敛了一点。
不，应该说，想闭门一阵子。
让自己沉淀，让自己幻想在一间空洞无有的房间内发疯。
可是你还是在我心内有个超重要的位置。
我好想你哦~
整部电影都在看古装侦探片。故事的情节也一直在牵制你的心和心思。
让你一直在猜想，到底谁是凶手，动机是什么，武则天到底是好是坏，狄仁杰到底是不是真的逆反。。。
总而言之，就是一直在猜测。
演员方面嘛~
刘德华，纵使那么多新闻发生，可是他那独特的魅力还是在散发着。
刘嘉玲，岁月已经在脸上出卖了她，但资深演员就是不一样，就是能吸引着你。
李冰冰，有时觉得她的脸部表情有点怪怪，但胜在她演的角色可以遮掩这一点。
邓超，给我印象最深刻是他全身白白，哈哈~ 但还蛮赞啦~
梁家辉，在介绍时说是特别演出，但没有他的技巧来演出这个角色，就真的是败笔了。
而导演，徐克，从来都很崇拜他。从黄飞鸿至今，都一直觉得他真的是一位天才。拍出来的电影都有自己的味道。就像浓浓的咖啡味，一直停留在你鼻间。
刘嘉玲，岁月已经在脸上出卖了她，但资深演员就是不一样，就是能吸引着你。
李冰冰，有时觉得她的脸部表情有点怪怪，但胜在她演的角色可以遮掩这一点。
邓超，给我印象最深刻是他全身白白，哈哈~ 但还蛮赞啦~
梁家辉，在介绍时说是特别演出，但没有他的技巧来演出这个角色，就真的是败笔了。
而导演，徐克，从来都很崇拜他。从黄飞鸿至今，都一直觉得他真的是一位天才。拍出来的电影都有自己的味道。就像浓浓的咖啡味，一直停留在你鼻间。
两个小时多的剧情，却容易忘了时间，投入进去猜测的心思。
真的值得你的戏票去观赏。
*
众所知，我真的超爱听歌。
一日没听歌，就好象气喘病发作，很难受。
最近都很喜欢：
- 蔡健雅的〈抛物线〉
- 蔡健雅的〈救生圈〉
- 李玖哲的〈最后那一天〉
- Big Bang的〈Beautiful Hangover〉
- AKB48的《River》
一直到晚上睡着了，都还听到。
那把声音，就好像在教训我，人就是这么过日子。
而我们的生活中，就是要带点颜色，才会精彩，不会显得那么沉闷。
偶尔听不到歌词，心还是会激情。
会掀起澎湃，会开始问自己，到底自己是不是过的很值得。
是啊~
你可能说，天啊~上面有些歌曲都不是在教训你，还是什么之类的。
可是你知道嘛~
我就是那么奇怪。
那些问题都是随时冒起的。
而且都是听歌时，它会形成，而我就开始找寻答案。
呵呵~
但，它们还是占据了我生活中的一部分。
*
连续两天都与他视频。
有人换了新造型哦~
哈哈~
老实说，还真的蛮帅气的。
也让我不禁回想以前我的造型。
哈哈~
可是，有时我真的很坏，他在说话，我却没给反应。
虽然心内是很开心，很雀跃，可是就是无法表达出来。
每次视频结束后，我都有小小的歉意。
我真的不是故意的，可是就是无法表达。
亲爱的，你真的很帅哦~
也请原谅我最近的反应。
不知是最近的心都历经了很多，开始收敛了一点。
不，应该说，想闭门一阵子。
让自己沉淀，让自己幻想在一间空洞无有的房间内发疯。
可是你还是在我心内有个超重要的位置。
我好想你哦~
2010年10月5日星期二
I Admit
I really gotta say this.
Haiz~
And his time schedule too.
First of, his voice is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too soft.
It's just like a kid is afraid of standing in front of people and talking.
Argh~
Second, his lecture doesnt seem like it's been arranged before class.
And he always talk pointless story that doesnt even relate to the class.
In short, he can change the topic way so fast, that we cant catch it.
Then he can stop halfway at a chapter and let us go.
Everytime, he didnt manage to even finish a chapter.
Argh~~
Third, CANT HE JUST STAY FIX TO A TIME?!
I mean he's been changing since the first class.
And now, you want to do night class?!
FML! FYL! F-DMC201004-L!
Argh~~~
Done.
End of story.
*
As days goes by, i found out that i'm almost going the same routine.
Wake up - Breakfast - Shower - Attend college - Stuck in stupid jam - Come back home - Buried myself in assignment - Online - A little chat with friends - Sleep.
Then i'll be doing the same at the next day.
Sometimes i wonder if i can change my life.
Or maybe if there' something that can happen to make me distracted.
It's kinda funny though.
There's many people around the world are basically doing the same routine everyday.
Yet there's few a them try to change.
They either dont know what's wrong or they just accept what had done daily.
I'm not complaining.
Nor even trying to feel restless.
It's just this thought came to my mind.
And i ever wonder why couldnt i just accept it.
Or, ya, i can just ignore the thought.
Cut off the adventurous-action-minded and start live a life.
That's a culture that's been practicing for many years and till now.
Ya.
It could be my journal for the class too.
*
Even though i'm burying myself in assignment, but no matter how, he will still appear in my mind.
It's like a dream, sometimes.
Having conversation with friends, somehow they ask about him.
Fortunately, i can keep my tears away and tell them the truth.
I know i'm growing tougher than yesterday.
I know he's in heart, no matter whatsoever happened.
I know it's only excuses and ghosts are haunting me.
I'm a girl who thinks a lot, and he knows it well.
He's capable of manipulating my heart, yet i know i'm the one who's falling for it.
No matter what, dear, i miss you...
I DISLIKE PENGAJIAN MALAYSIA'S LECTURE!!!
Haiz~
And his time schedule too.
First of, his voice is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too soft.
It's just like a kid is afraid of standing in front of people and talking.
Argh~
Second, his lecture doesnt seem like it's been arranged before class.
And he always talk pointless story that doesnt even relate to the class.
In short, he can change the topic way so fast, that we cant catch it.
Then he can stop halfway at a chapter and let us go.
Everytime, he didnt manage to even finish a chapter.
Argh~~
Third, CANT HE JUST STAY FIX TO A TIME?!
I mean he's been changing since the first class.
And now, you want to do night class?!
FML! FYL! F-DMC201004-L!
Argh~~~
Done.
End of story.
*
As days goes by, i found out that i'm almost going the same routine.
Wake up - Breakfast - Shower - Attend college - Stuck in stupid jam - Come back home - Buried myself in assignment - Online - A little chat with friends - Sleep.
Then i'll be doing the same at the next day.
Sometimes i wonder if i can change my life.
Or maybe if there' something that can happen to make me distracted.
It's kinda funny though.
There's many people around the world are basically doing the same routine everyday.
Yet there's few a them try to change.
They either dont know what's wrong or they just accept what had done daily.
I'm not complaining.
Nor even trying to feel restless.
It's just this thought came to my mind.
And i ever wonder why couldnt i just accept it.
Or, ya, i can just ignore the thought.
Cut off the adventurous-action-minded and start live a life.
That's a culture that's been practicing for many years and till now.
Ya.
It could be my journal for the class too.
*
Even though i'm burying myself in assignment, but no matter how, he will still appear in my mind.
It's like a dream, sometimes.
Having conversation with friends, somehow they ask about him.
Fortunately, i can keep my tears away and tell them the truth.
I know i'm growing tougher than yesterday.
I know he's in heart, no matter whatsoever happened.
I know it's only excuses and ghosts are haunting me.
I'm a girl who thinks a lot, and he knows it well.
He's capable of manipulating my heart, yet i know i'm the one who's falling for it.
No matter what, dear, i miss you...
2010年10月3日星期日
Survivor 东方神起
Everytime Everyday
今谁もが Survivor
Looking for Everywhere
この事态に Don’t give up
ここから立ち上がって光探して
チャンスに変えよう
一绪に Let’s try
Oh baby let’s try!
心に One Smile
见つけたら Shine on me
Two Smile
重ねたら Shine on me
世界が辉くように Smile Smile
生き抜く Survivor
君がいれば
回り道でも Not so bad
忘れかけた
大切なもの Remember
ひとりではできないことでも
気持ちを合わせて
始めれば We can
Oh baby we can!
どこかに One Dream
いつの日か Still on
Two Dream
动き出す Brand new world
谁かを爱するように Dream Dream
抱きしめて
心に One Love
明日なら So easy
Two Love
繋いだら Be happy
自分を信じるように Love Love
生き抜く Survivor
谁もが Survivor
共に行く Survivor
Everybody Everybody night
心に One Smile
见つけたら Shine on me
Two Smile 重ねたら
世界が辉くように Smile Smile
抱きしめて生きよう
心に One Love
明日なら So easy
Two Love
繋いだら Be happy
自分を信じるように Love Love
生き抜く Survivor
*
昨天为了帮莉庆祝她录取进SIA当空姐，举办了一个小型欢送聚会。
找来了我们以前一班朋友。
出席的人有18位。
我们就在1u的Garden Lifestyle Store And Cafe.
本来是预订了15位，后来到那边算算才要求加位置。
后来大家都陆陆续续到了。
场面也越来越热闹。
整件餐馆都是我们的声音和欢笑声。
吃完了以后，我们也串通好了，到padini的vincci买支手表送给莉。
真的很出奇地顺利。
那支手表看起来很高贵，白色加铜色渡边，真的很漂亮。
过后我们就决定到Ah Zit的家。
不过大家都好像要喝酒，就到jusco去买了carlsberg和heineken。
我们总共好像有6辆车到Ah Zit的家。
还记得那个保安的表情。
他应该是在想：“现在是什么情形？难道要打劫整个社区吗？”
哈哈~
到了Ah Zit的家，他就把我们赶进地下室，是为了不打扰家人啦~
接下来，就开始喝酒，玩游戏了。
而我就坐在旁边陪莉聊天。
大家虽然都没醉，可是high了起来。
尤其明谕和stef，仿佛被陈真李小龙叶问上身，一直在玩小枕头。
呆到差不多11点半就回了。
很开心能和大家又聚在一起。
很不舍我们的莉莉要离开我们了。
和大家见面的时间也不是那么频密了。
可是大家在我心里是占据了很重要的位置。
衷心祝福莉会一切顺利。
莉，你还是要常回来哦~
我们都祝福你。
加油~ xD
*
还有大约3个月，他就要回来了。
心里小小的期待了。
虽然还是要他先忙完他东西，毕竟我也可能有计划。
总是还在计算日子。
亲爱的，我好想你哦~
^^
2010年10月1日星期五
I'm old...
Oh my gosh~
It's already been October.
Two more months and we are waving 2010's ass goodbye.
Three more months and here comes 2011's ass.
Dang~
Suddenly, feel so old...
There goes another year.
And i'll be 19.
Old...
*
Just came back from college.
Had a nice talk with Ms. Jo.
Found out that she's very stressed with our class.
(With other class too.)
Story happened like this.
Our college is trying to use a new system -- PBL (Problem Based Learning) to us.
The system goes with we student will have to study OUR OWN and each week we will have to present to our class.
Ms.Jo had divide us to groups and given us chapters to study too.
We started off with the first group, lead by Nikki.
I dont know, maybe the preparation time is too short or their team are not working as a team, they literally screwed up and the class are not listening.
I guess this has create a lot of voices in the class.
Especially one of my group mate.
He told his aunt, and his aunt wants him to write a letter to the admin office.
So, i guess yesterday, he went to office and filed a complain.
In the end, Ms.Jo was sent to office and had a lecture.
It's already been October.
Two more months and we are waving 2010's ass goodbye.
Three more months and here comes 2011's ass.
Dang~
Suddenly, feel so old...
There goes another year.
And i'll be 19.
Old...
*
Just came back from college.
Had a nice talk with Ms. Jo.
Found out that she's very stressed with our class.
(With other class too.)
Story happened like this.
Our college is trying to use a new system -- PBL (Problem Based Learning) to us.
The system goes with we student will have to study OUR OWN and each week we will have to present to our class.
Ms.Jo had divide us to groups and given us chapters to study too.
We started off with the first group, lead by Nikki.
I dont know, maybe the preparation time is too short or their team are not working as a team, they literally screwed up and the class are not listening.
I guess this has create a lot of voices in the class.
Especially one of my group mate.
He told his aunt, and his aunt wants him to write a letter to the admin office.
So, i guess yesterday, he went to office and filed a complain.
In the end, Ms.Jo was sent to office and had a lecture.
I know in this point i nothing to talk about.
But the thing is, why cant we give it some time and chances to try this new thing?
I mean, this PBL is not a bad thing after all.
We really get to study the whole textbook by OURSELVES.
Look deeper, we've been spoon-fed for i-dont-know-maybe-1o-years-plus.
And it's time to be independent.
But the thing is, why cant we give it some time and chances to try this new thing?
I mean, this PBL is not a bad thing after all.
We really get to study the whole textbook by OURSELVES.
Look deeper, we've been spoon-fed for i-dont-know-maybe-1o-years-plus.
And it's time to be independent.
I gotta admit.
I, too, grumble when the first time i heard this new system is launching.
But when i start read the textbook and make discussion, i found out i actually learn more than i ever thought of.
No, i'm not picking side.
I just thought someone is being childish and immature...
*I, too, grumble when the first time i heard this new system is launching.
But when i start read the textbook and make discussion, i found out i actually learn more than i ever thought of.
No, i'm not picking side.
I just thought someone is being childish and immature...
