I Will Always Love You 私は常に愛する

2011年5月30日星期一

Happy Holiday!

So, lets begin our week holiday/mid term break.

Basically, this week is supposed to be our mid term break.
But i choose to work.
Why?
Duh~ i need money lah~
Plus i've been working since almost one month ago.

But it's ok lah~
At least my mum's ear is quiet a lot now.
(You can imagine how i nag that much when i was jobless. xD)

Plus, it aint harm to work.
Of course, i have to get up early to avoid the damn traffic jam; then i have to start working till 5.30pm; then get back home with flat dead tired; dinner and sleep.
Then the circle goes again.

Yes, sometimes looking at my friend's tweet, they are so tempting.
Wake up late, sleep late, doing whatever they want, go wherever they feel like.
But me, wake up early, sleep early, office and home.
Still, i always think of a positive sides.
I work one day, i earn more money.
Muahaha~

But still, to all my fellow friends out there, have fun and enjoy!
May Buddha bless you all!
=)
*
Argh~
Still, during this week of time, still gotta find some time to finish up the assignments!
Especially Moral's play and Field Production Techniques' PSA.

It seems that lecturer had reject our PSA and asked us to re-do.
But the things now is, everyone is at their hometown, where the hell should we find some time?
Haiz...

Well, i do admit that our message were quite weak in the way of spreading it.
And i do blame it on myself for not writing the script nicely and doesnt contribute much ideas enough.
My team had done a great job, and i shall not let them take the blame.
So, for now, i had to think again the ideas and how to put them in pieces.
This time, i had to send the message strongly!

As for Moral's play, i still havent come out a slightest idea yet.
Too many things are coming in and i still havent analysis it.

Geez, even a one week break, there's like so many things need to be done.
*
Alright, made a decision.
I'm not going on August.
Instead i will extend my stay and we might be going elsewhere, further away from Taiwan.
He was thinking of Macau and i have dead long enough to want to visit their casino.
Especially the Venetian Macau Resort Hotel!
I want to see and feel the texture of the building.
If can, i want to lick it.
Haha~

Well, everything is still in plan.
All now, i just need to gather more information.
Oh ya, and to extend my flight ticket.

But i really cant wait till that day.
When we can really really have a nice face to face talk.
Where we can really really try to sort things out without interference.
I really do wish the problem will be solve.
At least let us try how we can communicate to solve things out.

If we are going to future together, we have to find a way to work things out.
Once and forever.
=)

2011年5月28日星期六

我们

这个礼拜看了两部电影：《The Pirates of Caribbean: On Stranger Tides》和《Kungfu Panda 2》。

这两部都是从第一次看到预告片，期待到现在的。
尤其海盗。不知何时在Fb看到预告片时，就一直吵着要看了。
现在都终于如愿看到了，心情高兴得无比形容。

只能说，好莱坞的制作越来越大胆了。
也许那个最原创的创意感没有那么强烈，不过大家只是在尽自己的责任。
牺牲宝贵的事情，换取观众的两个小时的兴趣和精神。
票房也许没那么注重了，最重要是自己耗时那么长时间的作品终于获得世界各地的肯定。

那就先恭喜这两部。
你们真的太棒，太赞！
谢谢你们的辛苦制作和心思。
我们的那两个小时都过得很开心。
=)
*
现在开始一个星期的假期。
不过我整个星期都会做工。
除非，Nikki她们打算要讨论功课。。。

就这样不知不觉我就做了整个月。
我还是老样子，只是当然会觉得累。
但无所谓啦~
一想到月头就出薪水了，整颗心就飞起来了。
哈哈~

但还是有出错的时候。
我也许真的该喝一罐鸡精，好好提神，把脑力给开发。
不然每次都害到大家白忙一场。

很多人都问我会做到什么时候。
我也不敢给答案。
我只是说，希望八月后我还能做工。
这个到时就要看那学期的时间表了。

暂时就这样。
加油哦！
*
和他和好了。
那整个月真的很煎熬，也真的很失望。

事情讲开后，除了心里的石头放下后，也看清了很多事情。

我不敢说我们是否在处理这件事的当儿，显得很成熟。
反而我觉得我们只是在成长。
我都在吸取教训和经验的过程。
很多事情都不是只能靠沉默来解决的。
偶尔来点小争吵，反而更能深一层的了解彼此。

我当然是希望这件事不会再发生了。
泪水流够了，唉声叹气到自己觉得烦，失眠一直在缠着。种种的失望和悲伤都该告一段落了。
我们还是能这样下去的，只要我们愿意用更好的沟通方式。

现在我也不是很敢奢望我们的未来，但我知道我很珍惜现在的我们。。
也带着这份心意，想这么一直走下去。

2011年5月25日星期三

Bravo!

Finally!
Everything is done within ONE DAY!
Thanks to all my beloved teammates.
You guys were pretty good.

Done with our PSA video shooting.
This time, i was just contributing ideas.
Due to my sickness, sometimes my brain cant react at the first place, so i just had to contribute ideas.
But it turn out that it was quite good.
And we had fun the whole day.

Went to Estee's house, located at Taman OUG.
One word to describe: HUGE!
I almost got lost there.
The only one way i did, was keep yelling names and listen carefully where the sound came from.
Haha~
Excuse me if i were too loud, or i had disturb anyone in the house, but i was lost!
Never mind, its a history now, and we are done with the video.
Good job!

So, all now left if the post production and we are ready to submit it.
Hope Buddha will bless us.
=)
*
We chatted that night and i still havent got any answer for him.
But the one thing i know, i had started to think more deeply about it.

I dont know whether i will found that answer just in time.
He gave me time and i gave him a task.

This journey may looks hard and harsh on us.
But i guess, sometimes this is the only way to makes us widen our eyes, look at what we have missing and what we must do to solve it.

I dont wish for any happy ending anymore.
But now, i only wish we will appreciate each other and always find a things a work things out.
We aint children anymore.
5 years and we had lots of understanding within each other.
Let's hope that this lesson will teach us forever...

2011年5月23日星期一

最深爱的人伤我最深张惠妹&张雨生

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

(男)黑夜来得无声爱情散得无痕
刻骨的风卷起心的清冷
吹去多年情份只剩我一人
(女)两朵孤单的魂会心的眼神
你我的苦竟是如此吻合
感情的沦落人相遇在这伤感的城
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
进退我无权选择
紧紧关上心门留下片刻温存
(男)只怕还有来生我爱的依然最真
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
(女)教人无助的深刻
(合)点亮一盏灯温暖我无悔青春
燃尽我所有无怨的认真
----====----
(女)两朵孤单的魂YA 会心的眼神 WO
(合)你我的苦竟是如此吻合
感情的沦落人相遇在这伤感的城
WU.WO.YA
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
进退我无权选择
紧紧关上心门留下片刻温存
只怕还有来生我爱的依然最真
我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
教人无助的深刻
点亮一盏灯温暖我无悔青春
燃尽我所有无怨的认真
YA..YA..WO..YA..
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
进退我无权选择 WO
紧紧关上心门留下片刻温存
只怕还有来生我爱的依然最真
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
教人无助的深刻
点亮一盏灯温暖我无悔青春
燃尽我所有无怨的认真
点亮一盏灯温暖我无悔青春
燃尽我所有无怨的认真
*
两天的周末，我

恨
懊恼
生气
静坐
苦恼
发疯
假微笑
装失忆

总之身体和头脑细胞已经不知道死了多少万颗。

一句话，一个固执，一个自我，两个立场，两颗拥有判断力的头脑，两颗精疲力尽的心，无数行的泪水，无数滴的雨水，无数的言语，无数的意见，无数的耳朵借来，无数的谩骂，无数的关心，无数的叹气，无数的期待，无数的希望，无数的。。。
太多太所数不清的东西都发生在那短短的两天。

至今，我不敢说我已经冷静。
但至少我不会再有粗口了，不会有不理智的泪水，不会有胡思乱想的脑袋，不会有胡乱猜疑的心。
可是多了，一份很踏实的感觉，一颗慢慢清醒地脑袋，一双不能再流泪的眼睛，一颗能自动安抚自己的心。
最后，一个终于发现自己弱点的自己。

疑惑开始了。
担心开始了。
不舍开始了。
不能相信开始了。
我的心，也开始怀疑我自己的能力了。

未来，曾经是那么值得让人憧憬；可如今，我开始有点没信心。
未来，曾经那么看是美好；可如今，我发现我会害怕我自己没有办法跟上你的脚步。
未来，曾经在我耳边奏起非常悦耳的音符；可如今，我听到是害怕尖叫令人毛骨悚然的音乐。
未来，曾经我像少女般的梦幻着；可如今，我睁开眼看见镜子前的我是位常常让人嘲笑的少女。

我知道我们彼此都没有错。
错的是我们的执著，没有站在对方的位置想，语气和用词。
我们的确都是未来彼此好，可忘了对方都有想法和站场。
我们也忘了，有时退一步的确会看到海阔天空。
但如果有一方常常退一步的话，慢慢地快要掉入悬崖了。
我们伸手要求救，因为另一方习惯向前，忘了怎样退步，没办法我们只好睁开双眼，喉咙发出喊叫声，只能眼睁睁地看着另一方在悬崖上。

我不知道自己的形容对不对，可是这是我这两天把情绪平复下来后，深深感觉到的。
我也不喜欢这样的我们，我更恨这件事的发生。
万万更让我恨之入骨的是那两个字终于在出现了。
不是我在逃避，而是我发现我开始害怕了，我开始对这段感情没有信心了，我开始不知道要怎样诚实地对待我自己了。
嘴巴最厉害常常跟人说，无论发生什么事，万万不可以失去自己。
但，今天我要把这句话告诉自己。

但，不管怎样，我只希望我每晚都入眠。
我不要在三更半夜了，突然睁开眼睛，然后一整晚就是看着天花板。
闹钟响了，走到镜子前面，练习微笑，催眠自己一切都很好的。
冲凉后，再走到镜子前面，再对自己微笑后，才告诉自己我还是自己的。

这段时间就让我们彼此冷静。
然后我就趁这段时间，把自己给找回来。。。
一定要！

2011年5月21日星期六

FML!!!

I really dont understand!
I though this silence had brought you to another lever of thinking.
But it seems that i was just too naive.
What could possibly happened now?

Do you know that you are pointing a gun on my head now?!
Do you how much i have to suffer now?!
Why dont you just pull the trigger instead?! Let me die, so that we dont have to gone through this!

Its just only a trip.
Why cant you comprise a bit?!
You said you dont want me comprise anymore, because it makes you feel pain.
You dont want that ego to control you anymore.
You want to take control of it.
And now what?!
You are letting that ego grow!

Do you know how badly wounded i am now?!
Do you know how many pieces i have torn now?!

Those words that you used, those tones you used, you are just destroying this relationship!
Yes, i goddamn hate this distance.
We cant solve this issue immediately, and now we have it rot like hell!
We make this issue become a catastrophe.
Your way of solving problem had made everyone disappointed.
Your way of portraying this issue had made me feel like ending my life.

How did this happened?
Do you ever know that ever since we get back together, i was defending all those negative thinking and comments by my loved one?
They never really blessed us!
They never feel optimistic for our relationship.
They just faking a smile and hope, so that i wont get hurt.
But now, everyone is grabbing this chance now!

I want to scold foul language, but since the person is you, i kept all those words in my heart.
Because i know how much you hate it, even by just spelling it out.

Now you tell me, you teach me, am i that guilty enough to take this as a punishment?
Dear, we've known each other for 5 years!
5 years! That's not 5 months or 5 days, its 5 years!
By now, you should understand how this relationship would works.
Not like this!

I'm teared up!
I'm tired!
I feel like giving up now...
You tell me, is this the way you want?

2011年5月19日星期四

我不要！！！

为什么偏偏要在这种时候生病？
难道就不能让我逞强多8个月吗？
8个月而已。
一眨眼就过了。
为什么？唉~~~

昨天就已经察觉有点不对劲了。
死命地往喉咙和肚子灌水。
然后也拼命地上厕所。
最后，早上起床时，还是觉得不妥。
现在可好了。
真的轻微喉咙痛了，然后鼻塞，鼻水一直流，全身有点烫烫的，还有点头疼。

唉~
为什么就每次都在非常关键的时刻就给我来？
为什么每次要它来的时候就不来，不该来的时候就给我来到七七八八？

现在是什么状况？
厚~~~
我讨厌生病啦~~~
>.<|||
*
我已经换了这头发型有差不多四个多月了。
也许是很久没有回办公室了。
大家一见到我，第一个问题是：“咦，新来的？等等，妹妹是你吗？变得好美了！”

哈哈~
除了谢谢，也就是谢谢。
甚至还说我长大了，女大十八变。
当然我也回他们一句：“当然要变咯~不然男友看闷了，就跑路了。”
xD

是的，我开始做工了。
不用问，还是回到那间红酒公司上班。
这次每天放学后，就往那儿待到6点。
然后准时闪人。
因为要回家做功课嘛~

刚开始还会以为自己很不习惯。
因为要两边兼顾。
而且在上班时间，不能做蛇，找机会温习。
就只能一直做做做。
做到六点了，就微笑挥手说，时间到，回家做功课。
这句话就能抵挡所有要留我下来的人。
还补了一句：“功课学业要紧。”
哈哈~

但放心啦~
我知道自己的极限。
也知道自己的责任和该涉及到的范围。
我会尽力，也会照顾到自己本身的责任。
再怎么说，我还是不能辜负大家对我的期望。
所以啊~
还有多少困难和苦事，放马过来吧~
哈哈~
*
如果要算起来，这是我们沉默的第四个星期。

在这四个星期里，我做了好多好多的事。
大多都是没有把他放在心上的事。
哈哈~
比如说。。。还是不要说了，不然会被骂。
哈哈~

我们这件事，很多人都给予鼓励和批评的话语。
甚至还有人要我放手，不要这么的逞强。

还有更厉害的，能预知未来，说如果我们这样下去，到最后受伤的是我，因为我是这么的好胜好面子，不愿放人家。

可是这些是什么啊？
只是大家一味地猜，根本没有顾虑到我的感受。
但我也不能说什么，也答应了要戒口，不能乱报粗，就只好在心底问候他妈妈和弟弟。

但偶尔一个人独处时，那个神经脑袋又开始胡思乱想了。
是不是他真的不要我了？
我真的如他们所说，真的不愿放手吗？
等等，我有说过这件事情只有这唯一的办法吗？
就因为这点小事就分开，会不会太显得超幼稚？

最后还是告诉了自己，没事的，大家都不了解你们的这段感情，怎能因为他们的三言两语就这么轻易地怀疑。
到最后来，最幼稚的那个是我自己。

可是，说实在，我还真的很想念他。
虽然强迫自己不可以，因为他说要习惯没有彼此的生活，可是我不知道有任何方法可以阻止。
也许我还需要一点时间的调整。
把自己找回来，寻找我们当初爱上彼此的那共同点，努力地经营这段感情，不要再有任何伤痕了。
亲爱的，我们可以这样吗？
我真的真的好想你。。。

2011年5月17日星期二

Happy Wesak Day

First and foremost, Happy Wesak day to all of you out there.
May Buddha blessed you all.
We all live in a harmony and peaceful environment.
=)

Alright.
Yesterday night went to Chenz's house.
Went there for overnight girls' talk.
Brought brownies, snacks, poker cards, pillows, pajamas, bear bear...
And we are ready to rock the night.

Well, we talked a lots of stuff.
Mostly surrounding relationships.
Me and Stef used up the whole night, watching videos from Youtube.
Damn lots of epic things we had done.
Damn lots of epic topic we talked about.

Some were heartache, some were touching, some were just simply gossip.
All i can say is, we sistas are stronger than we look.
We might need a lot of strength to conquer all the hardness we are going through right now.
But at the end of the day, we need to show how unbeatable we are.
And even though we lost our loves one, that doesnt stop us from having fun in our life.

Boys and men, they are simply just a passerby.
They might leave a deep scar, or they might just take your breath away.
But do remember, my loves, no matter what happened, we will be there for each other.
We just love each other too much.
And we just dont want to see each other to get hurt.

Smile and remember to love yourself everyday.
=)
*
One more week and i'm off to one week mid term break.
This is so fast and i almost cant believe we are in the mid May now.
Times really sure fly.

This my 4th sem and everything seems in a nice and smooth way.
So far everything is looking good and nothing much need to be worried.

But 3 more sem and i need to consider my future.
This question had been bothering me on and off.
Still, i cant see the answer yet.
I always say let the fate decide.
But is there really nothing i can work on?
I mean at least i still have the balls to dream.

I wont like to list out what is my consideration for stop dreaming.
It just seems annoying at some point.
Yet it's so true and i'm living with it.

Maybe you can say, focus on your present, let the future comes by itself.
And sometimes i wish i can tell myself: Its ok if you dont let your dream live, at least you dream of it before...

*
After that phone call, i gotta admit first, i was so brave that i didnt let my tears flow.
No, you silly, we are fine.
But sometimes you gotta find out what is causing this silence, and you have to make a move to solve it.

We chatted a lot that day.
After hanging up the phone, i realize he's right at some point.
Yet, i still cant change the fact that the silence had hurt our relationship.
I dont know it's in a good way or bad way, but i'm still hanging on. (And i hope he is.)

This is the third week since the silence starts.
And i shall thanks this silence.
I dont know whether it makes me grown up or not.
But it leads me to another world.

I found out that i can get my happy source from anywhere.
No longer it only limits to him.
I can be happy when i'm with my family, with my friends, when i'm driving, when i'm alone, when i'm riding in a train, when i'm rushing assignments...
I can be happy anytime and anywhere.
And i felt a relief that i no need to worried about his emotions if i do this do that.
I just be myself and i'm fine and i'm happy.

Still, no doubt, i miss him.
I miss talking crap with him.
I miss making him smile with my silly questions.
I miss all those sweets talk that happen for no reason.
I miss his words and his tone.
I miss the way he put me to bed.
I miss sharing all my joy to him.
I miss his warmth, even we are far apart.
I miss...
I just simply miss him.

I had no idea where this silence will lead us to.
But i just miss him and i want the whole world to know.

2011年5月14日星期六

哈哈~

终于都给弄好了。
昨天本来想要更新的，怎知Blogger在update system，一整天都不让人进来。
算了，还是回归正题。

话说，本来上个星期接到讲师的电话，问我有没有兴趣参加一个训练营。
我说蛮有兴趣，不过不知能不能从上司那儿得到offday，过后就真的有点忘了。
后来，星期三的时候，Nikki就要我陪她到办公室那儿，因为她也被点名了。
我就随着去。怎知负责人也要我填表格，我也当场傻眼。
后来也不理了，就照填那个表格，然后也答应了要去出席。

隔天，早上6点半就要火车站了。
要搭到Segambut，然后等朋友来载。
塞了一点点地车，我们还比任何人早到。7点多就到了。
Nikki和Syafiq还在大厅的沙发上睡了觉。

那个训练营是8点半开始，陆续地大家都到了。
我们也去报到处报到。

这次这个训练营是由Effie Award主办的。
Effie Award主要是针对各个商家的广告。
当中可以看到各个商家们的创意和动机。
每个广告后面都是一大群的合作力量，然后用不同的故事，打动我们这些消费者。
虽然有些的产品不见得很吸引人，可是他们用的创意都能让我们心动。
而这次的训练营就是要针对这些入名和得奖的广告中学习。
看看他们的厉害和有什么地方需要增强。

其实这个训练营的动机和目的都是很吸引人。
可是不知是太早起身，或者那些主讲人的说话方式和题目，我们（我，Niiki, Zoe ）都一直在钓鱼。
后来到后面真的到极点了，我整个人开始high起来了。
很多超废的话题都能给我想到。
我也不想再这边说。哈哈~

但还是得说，看到那些广告时，还真的很钦佩他们的努力和创意。
虽然不知道未来的我是否会在那块领域里面。
不过那天的一些画面和知识，让我对这块领域多了一点的了解。

*
现在又懒在这边。
不想去动那个Moral的功课。
应该说，灵感还没找上门，很难要开始一段句子。

唉~
要写电影审查就算了。
还要套用上课时学的一些东西。
那是要怎要写哦？
讲师只是把内容告诉我们，可是没有告诉我们更详细的。

不过还好我们可以用英语写。
因为太久没用国语了。
现在的国语程度只是所谓的pasar bahasa。
一点都不标准的。
甚至还参了别的语言。
哈哈~

不过还是得要把它完成啦~
这是分数叻~
我不要重考，不要肥佬，也不要延毕啦~
就这样啦~
要开始做功课了。
=p

2011年5月10日星期二

HOT!!!

The weather is so damn HOT!!!
Heard news report, it reach till 36 degrees!
And because there's a volcano explosion or something that caused it.

Haiz~
Just hope that everyone really do take care of themselves.
Drink more water, eat more fruits.
Still, use less air condition, stop using tissue papers.
Just do whatever it takes to save our mother earth.
She's sick and we are making it worse.
Just imagine, you are sick, but then you still keep expose yourself under the sun, you dont drink water, you dont rest well.

No matter what, love mother nature like how it loved us.
*
This week marks the third week of silence.
I just dont know what to do now.
I tried to break the silence, but you gave no response.
After that, you just disappear from the bridge that connects us.
And i stood there like a stupid idiot, irregardless how the rain falls on me nor the sun shine on me.

I can start to feel a bit tired.
Therefore i just leave it for time.
Let's see what will happened after then.

I just ran out of idea.
I just couldnt know what to do next.
I cant see the direction with this idiot act.

Thats why this few weeks, i try to keep myself busy.
Stay away from baby lappie.
I only turn it on for assignment and tasks reason.
I try to finish it early, so i wont let my mind run into stupid thoughts.

It might be also a good thing.
From there, i can find a new direction to guide me out of this.

Maybe we might talk in another few days, few hours, few minutes, few seconds, still you cant change the fact that i'm deeply insecure and wounded...

But i cant let my tears fall anymore.
It aint fair for this relationships.
I mean this is my option, so why i cant turn around and move on.
Let's see how far it can bring me.
Though you are still deeply tatoo in my heart...

2011年5月8日星期日

母亲节快乐！

母亲节快乐！
每个五月的第二个星期日，都在歌颂着母爱的伟大。

我家里很少庆祝这种节日的啦~
最多这天尽量不要惹恼母亲大人就可以了。
凡事都顺她，不顶嘴，也不要她破口大骂就对了。

老妈现在人在家乡喝着喜酒。
而我们就在吉隆坡这里，无聊地过着这顶天炎热的下午。

但无论身在何方，还是要感谢老妈的牺牲和温馨。
我们无论到了什么年龄，在老妈的眼里，我们始终是她的宝贝。
也无论我们犯了什么错误，她还是最终选择原谅我们，愿意给我们机会来弥补。
无论我们如何埋怨日子或人际相处，老妈很愿意借我们一双耳朵，在适当的时候给予勉励的话。
当然，当子女的，24小时都会让老妈担心的。
虽然没有表现出来，但只要细心观察，还是知道老妈的用心良苦。

还有很多很多的事情，就算给我一百张纸都写不完的。
但，有一句话是必须要说出来。
我的漂亮青春动人的老妈，你女儿我真的真的真的太爱你了！！！
<3
*
这几天的天气实在热到不行。
就连早上都开始热了。
每天本来想赖床多一阵子，可是就是热到定不顺了，只好起床。

地球开始发烧了。
纵使很多环保口号正在喊着，可是似乎都没发挥到什么作用。
人们还是我行我素，只是想着自己的方便和利益。
就说我们平时到快餐吃就好了。
还记得那天我在lcct的麦当当隔壁坐着。
我就目睹了很多一大包一大包的垃圾。
我还可以夸张点，每隔20分，就由工作人员从后面拿出来。
而且是一大包的。
里面装了什么，你我都知道。
我当场还傻眼了一阵子。那包包的垃圾还是一直很频密地放在大型垃圾桶里面。

你说，就是为了一时的方便，一人分一顿地快餐要砍掉多少棵树。
由于都沾上了油渍，那些都不能被环保，就只好两种解决方法：被烧或丢在垃圾山中。
垃圾山现在也是一个课题。
因为垃圾太多了，而垃圾山快要差不多和神山一样地高，就连已往生地众生们必须得让位给垃圾山。
这课题还曾经搬到国际新闻去。

看吧~
我们人类就是这样的自私。
认为大自然很顺然地给我们，我们就要享受到极点。
可是我们忘了，大自然是有生命体的。
你这样对待它，它会双倍地换回。
所以作为惩罚，这就是结果。
天灾很频密地发生，人类都在受罪着。
就连是世界末日也搬出来了。

所以啊~
环保口号固然好，可是它的发挥作用还是无法展示出来。
甚至只是一个宣传口号而已。
人们久了会渐渐把它遗忘的。。。

2011年5月6日星期五

Back At One by Brian Mcknight

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.

It’s undeniable that we should be together
It’s unbelievable, how I use to say that I’d fall never
The basis is need to know
If you don’t know just how I feel
Then let me show you now that I’m for real
If all things in time, time will i reveal
one,You’re like a dream come true
two, just wanna be with you
three, girl it’s plain to see that you’re the only one for me
four, repeat steps one tru three
five, make you fall in love with me
if ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one
It’s so incredible, the way things work themselves out
And all emotional,
once you know what it’s all about, eh
And Undesirable, for us to be apart
I never would have made it very far
Cause you know you’ve got the keys to my heart
one,You’re like a dream come true
two, just wanna be with you
three, girl it’s plain to see that you’re the only one for me
four, repeat steps one tru three
five, make you fall in love with me
if ever I believe my work is done
Say farewell to the darkened night
I see the coming of the sun
I feel like a little child,
Whose life has just begun.
You came and breathed new life into this lonely heart of mine
You threw out the life line
Just in the nick of time
oh one,You’re like a dream come true
two, just wanna be with you yeah~
three, girl it’s plain to see that you’re the only one for me
four, repeat steps one tru three
five, make you fall in love with me
if ever I believe my work is done
if ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start to back at one
*
Came back from college to do video shooting.

It's quite tiring but fun at the same time.
There were many times we had to change the script due to camera angle.
We only get to lend one camera and there's no lighting, no everything.
Just one camera.
But i guess we still manage to nail it down.

Glad that everyone did lend a hand to help out.
Silly me, i even suffer from pressure attack yesterday night.
Thoughts were going through my mind, and i cant read them most of the time.

Then it turns out that everything was just me.
I just scaring myself and putting pressure in myself too much.

Next mission for next week, we will learn how to edit videos.
For the meantime, i need some rest and pray that no bad news will happened.
*
It's already two weeks, but the silent had not broken.
What makes me more worried is that i havent seen him online for two days.
Many negative thoughts is swimming in my mind now.
I just hope sincerely he's fine.
He's still healthy and happy all the time.

It's quite ironic.
At the beginning, whenever he's online, i will feel sad and disappointed.
But now, two days without his presence online, i feel much more insecure now.
Fxxx it!
I hate this type of feeling.
Buddha, i wish i hadnt thought of that earlier.
Stupid me.

But dear, i really hope you are alright.
At least show me you are online.
It sucks that we are in this distance and the silent is our darkest enemy.
But without your presence, this enemy tries to eat me up.

Lastly, i just want you to know, I MISS YOU...

2011年5月4日星期三

好事好事 =)

五月，才刚开始而已，还真的对我不错。
希望这运气一直持续下去，不要让它中止。

那天不是说与表姐出门的吗？
那我就趁机抓机会，问看有没有工可以让我做。
隔天就收到简讯说我随时都可以上班。
我简直高兴到仿佛天上掉下来了一笔钱。
当然就立刻回信息说我要下个星期开始。
所以，就这样决定，星期二至五，放学后，都到公司报到。

接下来，这学期果然不是可以那么轻松了。
虽然已经开课接近4个星期了，功课也慢慢找上门来了。
单单今天就已经开始实行了两样功课。
第一样，到访一间专门收留被性侵犯，或者被家庭抛弃，或被虐对，或家庭不能继续养孩子的中心。
我们到那儿去收集资料，好可以完成我们的功课。
虽然还没看到亲身与那些孩子们交流，不过我们已经决定要做多一次拜访。

第二样就是Field Production Techniques。
基本上我们就是学习如何拍片。
从基本的工具，到一些技巧。
这次我们要自己写剧本，自己找场地，自己找化妆服装，自己剪接等等，要完成一部2分钟的短片。
我这次就负责写剧本。
所以现在正在寻找灵感。
也希望我们这次的短片不会让大家失望。

今天才是五月的第四天，可是那么多事强已经发生了。
而且还是好事。
至少都让我转移注意力，不再沉浸在自己的悲伤和拉锯的世界。
也许那几天我真的表现得不是我自己。
就连我自己现在回想，也觉得自己有点愚蠢。

现在，我就把自己投入在这些好事上。
至于那些不顺利的事，就一切随缘。
反正，开心也好，难过也好，日子还是得过。
=)

2011年5月2日星期一

Too many and too fast

Went out with cousin to 1u.
We planned this like weeks ago.
Just a simple outing.
Lunch, movie, window shopping.

So, this time we watch "A Chinese Ghost Story".
And i must say, at first i really didnt know what it was.
Until cousin describe a little of the plot and i remembered seeing the poster at TTDI.
So, i said yes and supposedly to book online, but the thing wont work.
SO, we had to line up.
Luckily, the line was quite fast.
Less then half an hour, i'm already holding the tickets.

Well, i must say, i'm quite impressed with the story plot.
I mean this is one of the most classic Chinese story.
From story books to movie that was acted by Leslie Cheung, how can you not say this is one of the most classic?
I keep pray that the movie will turn out to be a nice one.
At least dont spoil the classic sense.
And it turn out my wish came true.

The story twisted 180 degree, still it's worth to watch.

Liu YiFei, who played as the ghost, had change to be a devil, hence you cannot make a comparison to the classic. Because both of their character aint the same. Still, she did it quite nice.
Louis Koo, acted as the devil hunter fell in love the devil first. Which is the first twist from the classic. No words to describe him because he took this character very seriously and i almost cried for a few times when he cried too.
Yu ShaoQun, played a government's blacksmith (second twist), fell in love after that. The character was almost same as the classic one. Still, he did it nicely.

Well, to be honest, i cant say it's the best movie, but it really worth to watch.
You should watch it because it's the twisted classic movie, and it had nothing related to the classic one.
They are one individual story that they just borrow the theme from it.
If i shall rate it, 3.5 out of 5.
=)
*
Maybe it's my luck.
Or maybe it's just me myself.

Suffering from many negative mood this few days.
From heartbroken, to self-cheating, to depressing, to faking myself, to scolding myself...
Too many of it and i kept it silently in my heart.

I'm not that kind of girl that show it out easily. (Except for temper.)
I just too used of putting a mask on it.
And hope that no one will look through it.
I rather die in my inner heart than letting others to attack me with it.

You may say i just trying to be brave, and the truth is yes i am.
I just dont want others to think i'm such a weak person.
I just dont like it.
I feel like betraying myself if i let it out.
Therefore, i only had this blog to express it out.

Forgive me if i had scared you with this post.
It just i need a space out and all these things had happened too fast.
I might catch a breath in between, then i need courage to face it.
Please Buddha, let me survive through this...