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Just me and my life.



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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.

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2007年7月31日星期二
Whoa~

Today, our school had a Hari Keusahawaan. Everyone was having a funtime. Especially our teacher, Mr Francis, who was so sporting today.
My class with 3 mahir combined and build a ghost house. It was so popular. Everyone was thrilled to get in and see what's scary inside. Of course, i didnt went in, cause i know where the "ghost" will be and who they are. So i keep myself wandering around.
At first, it was kinda boring, maybe the weather cause it. Everyone was not prepared and not ready to do business. So, me and my girlfriends went to had breakfast. We ate chicken rice, which the tomato was so funny in colour. So bloody red! We threw it away as it was so sour.
Later, THE PARTY STARTS TO ROLED!!! We bought ourselves a party spray. We had a fun time by spraying each other. Some guys from other school (suspect ponteng) came over and spray us. Honestly, we didnt know who those guys were. So what? They came over just to have fun, right? So we had a great party spray war. Everyone became a snowman/snowwoman at that time.
After getting tired of party spray, we started to play water. Childish? Who cares? We just wanna had fun!!! And WET!!! Haha~ We were all so wet that we scared we cant get back home. So we stop and get dried ourselves by standing under the sun.
Oh ya, did i mention that this guy from somewhere danced hip hop? I mean, there supposed to be a dancefloor but this guy, who cant really dance at all, keep show off. What a jerk!
When we get back, CK's friend's car had a slight accident with a aunty. We were the witness. Anyway, they dealed it and they were happy with it. (Altough her friend was kinda sad)
Conclusion, WE HAD A FUN TIME!!!


(My tattoo, cute?)


(Look, used false blood)

2007年7月30日星期一
Hari Keusahawaan

明天是学校的Hari Keusahawaan.
今天大家都做着最后的准备,只为明天的完美呈现。不过,那个Justin又在那边扮老大。讨厌的要死!每次都是酱。讨厌啦~
学校的马来舞蹈成功赢取第二名来。大家就高兴到极点。虽然我是有点感染到气氛,但心中还是有点后悔,为什么不去参加当时的由Great Eastern主办的舞蹈比赛。要不是我们多加留意,今天也会提到我们的名字啦~不过算啦~今年假期好好去学hip hop,然后明年再来拼。我就不信我不能为学校挣点名誉来!看我啦~
现在真的超期待明天的Hari Keusahawaan!各位,加油啦~

2007年7月29日星期日
一个人生活

整理好心情,父母也和平了。可是我想自己一个人生活的欲望还是没消灭。也许自己想试一下那种感受是什么。但,如果看深一点,我也不知道为什么自己会酱的念头或欲望。
最近都特别羡慕那些自己一个人生活的人。总觉得,他们好厉害。懂得整理自己,懂得照顾自己,懂得为自己的生活打算。
虽然说我现在的年龄应该被人照顾,被人打理一切。可是,我不喜欢。而且,也很难要我感到知足。不要问我为什么。也许心里会觉得说,这个是我的人生,凭什么要你来帮我?你只需在旁边看着我就可以,确保我没有错就可以了。
我想,这个是没办法实现。毕竟我们人类也是必需“一群”才可以生存的。

2007年7月28日星期六
Living alone....

How many days have passed??? I mean, since my parents had a fight. Oh ya, three days.
Well, like i said, i always wish i was living alone. So that, no one will sa yes to my request. And i try my best to made it as i'm living alone and no one will be angry or sad or upset with it.
I know, teenage life maybe like that. But this isnt the way i want. What i want, living alone, making my own budget, go out and work for it, then have fun to enjoy it. How's that? I know, it mayb sounds incredible. But that's my wish. And i hope it come true.

2007年7月27日星期五
Princess Diana


(I always love her smile)


Princess Diana is one of my idol. She was so elegant, beautiful, sexy, most of all, she was wisdom. She became my idol since the first time i saw her smile. She was like an angel. Even though when she died i was only 5 years old, i still like her.
All the charity she done had inspired me. I mean, she teaches me learn to give out love to those who need. Learn to appreciate the love that our beloved give us.
Both of her son had her shadow. They got her smile, her eyes, her hair. It's just so happy to see the both of them look so alike of their mother. I remember when i was small, i used to wish she was my mother. My angelic mother. Who help those needed love people around the world.


(I also do like her black and white picture)

2007年7月26日星期四
想要知道吗?

一次又一次地吵
我的心快要崩溃了
我对“温暖家”的
念头,信心,立场
开始有些动摇
别人说我很坚强
其实我很脆弱
脆弱得我也不能形容
只知道
如果这个伤口一裂开
我不止会崩溃
我也许会失去想要
和不要的

我擅长伪装
把自己弄得更坚强
我越坚强
心里越承载更多痛
更多心声
就连现在写这篇
我都要说服自己
才有勇气写

再朋友面前
我可能是一个
坚强
勇敢
爽直
开朗
聪明
可是有谁又知道
我是完全不是那样的
内心里
我是
脆弱
怕死
怕受伤
什么事都往肚里吞
不会分享出来


我的愿望
之不过是希望
自己能摆脱这一切
一个人
静静地
过生活
然后
静静地
离开这里

2007年7月25日星期三
我的要求...

突然觉得自己越大,要求也越多。
不要问我为什么会有这种感觉?我也答不上。
也不可能是因为我的父母疼我,所以我才会有那么多的要求。
如果真的是这样,那我宁愿什么都不要。
可以的话,我想要自己一个人生活。
不想打扰任何人,不想有人为了我的要求而点头答应,不想自己的要求而困扰他人。
我只想要,自己一个人,静静地,没声音的过日子。

2007年7月20日星期五
I WILL ONLY PAY RM2

Damn stupid Justin!!! Never thought of us!!! Always think that you are the greatest prefect in this school!!! Bloody hell!!!
Rm5 was a big burden for us. I mean doing a ghost house no need that large of amount. Plus, all the stuff that you want, we can get it from our house. We just only play for half day, no need to buy expensive stuff. If you want good quality stuff to build a ghost house, then let us be the sponsors and let us have a good talk. Not like now! We want to talk but you keep saying that what you did was the best for our sake. Ya, ya, whatever~
If that so, please give each of us a budget list. So that we can think about it.
Ok, so, in the end, you finally agree with Rm2. And we are all satisfy. Just think about us next time. It's not like we are the rich people, who can always be that generous. We are only student, not yet in society. So please, think about us at the next time.
Oh ya, before i forgot, if you are not satisfy to the result we made just now, just scream and let us know. We are also doing for the sake of ghost house and our school. Thank you.

2007年7月19日星期四
18-07-2007

星期三,我的学校举办了Pertandingan Gubahan Buah-buahan Dan Sayur-sayuran.我和Stephanie同组呢~为了选最美,最新鲜的水果和蔬菜,还跟老妈子学了很多。真的超高兴的!
老师说比赛在十点开始,可是我们早十分钟去集合。还记得我们当时在上着sejarah,pn.lechumi的节呢~高兴死我了。因为啊~我超ANTI她的。
到了现场,也就是Bilik Masakan。我们开始就位。老师说比赛在10.30am开始,可是大家都准备好了,所以我们提早15分开始。也就是说,比赛在12.15pm结束。
当老师说开始时,我就是第一个偷吃的。哈哈~想起来都觉得好玩,因为我们参加都是为了吃!哈哈~所谓:王者以民为天,而民以食为天。
过后我们就开始切水果,切蔬菜,摆在盘上。我们是第二组完成。第一组是楚君和宇嫣。她们的好简单噢~
我们完成后,还有一个小时多。所以我们就到处拍照。

(她们是第一个做完的)


(这就是我们啦~)


(我们的masterpiece)
大约12.15pm,比赛结束了。评判们Pn.Zan,Pn.Azlina,Pn.Chan,开始去巡。
分数全算好了以后,老师公布成绩了。我们第三!!!太好了!!!

(不好意思,我们就在成绩公布前就把碟里的水果吃完了)

分享就是快乐,sharing is caring.我们捧着我们的碟回班和大家分享。




(大家都好高兴噢~)

今天超开心的 ;p

2007年7月17日星期二
Great time at KLCC

That day, Sunday. I went to KLCC to watch Harry Potter. Thanks to my cousin who got free ticket for us. Although i hated so much with the chairs, i still enjoy my time by sitting back and watch movie. I always like the feeling whenever i'm watching movie.
Honestly, i dont really like Harry Potter this movie at all. I prefer to read. Because lots of lots of image running at my mind. And it's like i'm the one who's directing the movie.
The movie end almost two and a half hour later. My mum was eager to gather once more with her two best friends who've been never meet for ages.(i guess so) I was going to make my plan come true. I told my family that i can eat at myself so that i can enjoy my time at Kinokuniya. But they just wont let me go and asked me walked with them. Luckily, my mum asked me to go by myself.
Then, one of my mum's friend show out. They were so happy. My mum told her friend that i'm going to book shops. She said she knew the bookshop are and happy to take me to there. I was so thrilled. There i go the one of largest bookshop in Malaysia.
After a moment, i met up with my aunt at there. We quickly paid the books and walkaway from there to find my dad. Guess what, i've bought rm150 of books. So cool~
Here's the list of books that i bought:
-致我的男友2 (friend of mine asked me to buy for her)
- 冒险小虎队 (ok,that's my bro's)
-冒险侦探 (Ok,also my bro's)
-Sweep: Origin (It's cool series of books)
-Gossip Girls: You are the one i want (Should check it out)
-Tuesday With Morries (I love this book!!!)
We came out from Kinokuniya and saw a crowd at the ground floor. It was ntv7. They were like doing survey
(There was the first year winner of Malaysian Idol on the stage)


(And that's the crowd from every floor)


After we found our dad, they want to go home. But i just dont want to. I mean there's a voice in heart,"Dont go home yet. Please." And so, i called my mum and asked where is she, i'd like to meet her at there.My mum said ok,and i told my family that i'm following my mum. They said ok.
I met my mum and her friends at Starbuck. I sat down and took out my wallet to buy a cup of something. (I still had no idea what i was going to drink). In the end, i bought a cup of chocolate chip cream. Yummy~

(Look, STARBUCK!!!)



(My drinks. Yummy~)

Nearly 8pm we went back home by LRT then KTM.
Next thing i knew, my leg was aching and i just straight away lying on my bed.

2007年7月16日星期一
挣扎

最近说好要努力,可是还是会给自己藉口。
真的很难专心。而且,我还是那种不喜欢读学校书的。如果你跟我讲课外的,我比较喜欢。而且要讲三天三夜也没问题。
我到现在还在挣扎。究竟要不要努力?努力了,我会得到我要的吗?我会满足吗?
说能我告诉我?

2007年7月13日星期五
让我们哀悼吧~

最近报章都在刊登除了蒙古女郎的案件以外,就是才三岁大的小盈瀛就酱被不知什么手段来伤害地离开了我们。
起初,我还真的以为她不见了。可是后来跟着报导走,竟然是被她那无人心的妈妈给伤害了。
天啊~她只不过是一位三岁的孩子。她的人生才正式起步,她才开始会学习,会模仿。可是,就酱被一个无人心的妈妈给伤害了。不,不应该讲“妈妈”!“妈妈”这个名称太亲切了,她没这个资格。
仔细看照片,小盈瀛有她那妈妈的影子。有她的嘴唇,有她的眼睛,有她的鼻子,就连她的笑容也有。可是,为什么有人酱狠心?!这么可爱的一个孩子,值得酱卷入你们家庭的问题吗?!她还这么小。不懂什么是反抗,也不懂什么是遵从。就酱在不见了。也许我的言语上面会有点冲动,也可能会得罪有些人,但这些都是我的内心话。都是我从第一天看报章的内心话。
一个妈妈,如果真的要伤害她的孩子,那,我有个问题,为什么当初要把带到人间来?她来到人间,才那么三年,你就哭假眼泪,把大家给骗的团团转,你的骗术比那些刮刮乐的手段更高一层楼!
话难听点,你简直是侮辱了“妈妈”这个纯真,像天使般的慈悲,坚强的词!
我现在只能做的就是希望小盈瀛不带这报复心离开我们,也希望她在投胎后,能在一个幸福美满的家庭健康地长大。

2007年7月12日星期四
My promise

Haiz~ Now i dodnt go tution, gotta keep on a hard work to score in PMR.
Sometimes i had this feeling that i will failed in PMR. But sometimes, i just feel like why i should be that hard work? In the end, we will just laying in graveyard. I'm still struggling. But i'll try my best. Cause it's my mission and i want to make it success. NO FAIL!!!

Good news, i might going to Bahau this coming holiday. I bet it will be fun and thrill. I just cant wait. I mean, there's someone at there i really eager to meet him. Let's just wish everything is a-ok.

But before that, i gotta face a trial exam. No matter what, I WONT FAIL MY MISSION. And that's my promise

2007年7月11日星期三
Gossip girls :p


Ok. So, like i said, this book TOTALLY ROCK!!! I mean,SCREAM if you agree with me. What will happened to every character? Will it be a happy ending? A sad ending? Or maube nothing at all?
I always like the part "Hey People". He/She(We still dont know the identity of author) will always talk about his/her life, will answer e-mails and of course some sightings. It was so natural at this part. No faking(I cant make sure but that's my feeling), no stress, no action pack.
"...Do we do something about it now, with a boy we've known for years? Do we get rid of it over spring break? Over the summer? Or do we settle into our dorm rooms just as we are, bold but innocent, and ready to lose it with the first campus player to say,"Come hither"? Maybe we should just listen to our mother and older sister and "wait till the time is right", whatever that means. Of course some of us girls nipped this particular issue in the bud long ago,opting to spend our college years focusing on more important things, like geology and Freud. Not. Fare it, even if you're not a virgin anymore now, you're going to feel like one all over again the minute you step on campus. And that's a good thing..."
"...Have you ever noticed how the boys are stressed out al they want to do is play video games by themselves for hours or go to the park and kick a ball around with the other boys? When we get stressed out we're productive. We clean our closets, shop for the perfect new bag, get our nails done, our eyebrows waxed, and our teeth cleaned. Sitting still is the last thing we want to do, and the thing we most want is to be around people of opposite sex. Girls-even our closest girlfriends-are too competitive and will weird us out even more, while boys provide a soothing distraction. But how does it work when all the boys are busy hanging with another, playing ball? We have two option. Either we can take off half our clothes and create a diversion that's a little more tempting than a round, bouncy ball. Or we can try not to get all competitive and weird girlfriends and have a little fun with them. Face it, after you're done kissing that certain special boy, all you want to do is call your girlfriends, anyway..."

2007年7月9日星期一
逛IT Mall记










昨天到Section14的IT Mall。
去到那边发现,果然是名符其实的IT Mall。从底层到最高那层,都是在卖些IT产品。看得会要晕了,因为实在太多了。从卖电脑零件,手机到DVD,到处可看到。
我爸本来想买Burnett给我的,而且当时价钱也蛮公道。但一想到在过几年,我妈打算买laptop给我去上大学,我就拒绝了。毕竟还有几年的努力,我就进大学了。那个burnett就酱用几年,很不值得。
不过,我买了一个pendrive,还是Kingston的,1GB,RM41。(我问我朋友,她说她买的跟我一样,可是只买RM20,有点心疼~T.T)







买了pendrive,我们又逛。想到我的电话需要买新的screen protector,便一个一个去问。本来全部都说没有,就在我要放弃的时候,有一家说他有货,我当时想:“皇天不负苦心人。”我开开心心的和他聊天。
后来,他黏好了,我立刻苦脸了,他竟然把有一角弄悄上来。他说,他有办法,我也只好相信他,看他有什么魔术能拯救,却没想到他拿出把剪刀,然后把那角给剪掉。现在我的手机有一个角落是不美的

(有看到吗?在最上面那个角落。T.T)



2007年7月8日星期日

昨天到中心去开会。说真的,我对大学园的感觉是又爱有恨。
爱是因为我是一份子,恨也是因为我是一份子。
不是说我是什么,而是因为每次开会,大家都好像是在自己在开会,而不是大家一起开会。(也许这是我们的特征吧~)
无论如何,爱我青年就快到了,大家一定要加油~
还有,还有,今年我是义工。真的很开心。为什么?因为我不用每次都去开会,而且也不用承担那么多的责任。虽然我不是很重要,可是也是很重要。是这么说吧~
总而言之,大家都一定要加油~



2007年7月6日星期五
88 days

Still left 88 days to go.Everyone was so nervous about pmr.But what about me???Me???I just being normal.You know,still sleeping in class,still making fun,still enjoy my life of being a-15-years-old-teenager,still thinking about nothing.It's kinda funny,right???My friends are so nervous. I think sooner or later, they are panda bear's relatives. No kidding. And no offense. My friends asked me, "why cant you stop and concentrate on pmr???" I was liked," WHAT?! Stop and concentrate?! No way hell! If that so, you wont able to see the true me." But i know they are just concern about me. As some of them knew,I always FAILED. So what? It's not like the end of the world. It's just only a normal test just like UPSR. So what if that's a PMR???
No matter what, I'll always be the way i want to. Cause this is ME.

2007年7月5日星期四
沿海地带 弦子

空荡荡的月台/入秋微凉的海/微风把脚下的树叶都吹开/火车就要出发催促我快离开/我的心已超载/你不了解的爱/当失望逐渐将一切都掩埋/没想到害怕更真实存在/在沿海地带放逐我的爱/孤单也很精采/我相信我们都有该去的未来/不该在原地徘徊/我其实很明白/梦醒了就不在/只是还挣扎着不让他离开/紧紧抓着的也都是空白/在沿海地带我远远离开/要更自由自在/不要我的心随着大厅的钟摆/停留在原地感慨

这首歌是在看“天堂来的孩子”听到的。喜欢歌词,喜欢旋律,更喜欢这套希。很难的现在的台湾会拍这种片子。现在的现在的台湾都流行什么偶像剧。可是,这部片子却赚了很多人的的眼泪,当然我也有。

2007年7月4日星期三
a person-to-be

I always i'm a girl whose life is happy and a lot people surronding me love me. But this few days, i just dont know why, all of a sudden, i feel like i'm not around a place where i should be. It's not like i cant feel love but i feel different. How different??? I also dont know. What making me feel like that??? How am i supposed to get rid of this stupid thinking???
You know, they say, "when you are feeling something, you might be a person-to-be." Ya,ya, whatever~A person-to-be??? whoa~that's a new word. I mean how would you feel??? Like me??? Just that sudden???
Ok~maybe i'm just more sensitive to some stuff. But i really hope i had a chance to sleep tight. A nice night to sleep.

2007年7月2日星期一

再次有个问题,难道华人的数学一定要好吗?如果没有好的好的话,会丢尽华人的面子吗?难道我就是要跟着老师说,进理科班吗?我就不能进文科班吗?老师说的一定是对的吗?我就不能有自己的主见吗?
我想进文科班!不是因为我的数学差,而是我的兴趣就在那边嘛~为什么一定要口口声声地说:“进理科班对你的你的前途有极大的帮助。”
但,我的兴趣不在那边。要我去读,不但帮不帮不了我的前途反而毁了它
我拜托你们,不要一直在我的耳边说进理科班。我不要就是不要嘛~
家人都没逼我,我自己也没有逼我自己。就是你们老师一直好像使劲方法要我进。是,我知道,进理科班可以帮助我们容易申请读大学。也有很多科目让我们选。可是文科班也让我容易进大学时选科目,选择不多嘛~不用烦。
所以拜托,不要再催眠了,我是绝对不会进理科班!