I Will Always Love You 私は常に愛する

2011年11月29日星期二

All the best =)

Finals are just around the corner.
Less than one week, to be exact.
And i'm up here just to post something, so that my blog doesnt look dead.

It was after that incident, i've kinda lost my passion in blogging.
I dont know why, but it took me quite a while to find back.
But one problem, i cant find a topic to write about.

Maybe i had a boring life.
Or maybe i've used to express my feelings in a 150 words limit Twitter.
Still, i'm glad that i found back this blogging mojo and right now, i gotta gain myself back.

One last thing before i signed off,

May Buddha bless everyone with health and happiness. Nothing can be accomplish without both of them. Especially to all my beloved STPM friends, all the best and enjoy your last moments with wearing that blue and white uniform to examination hall. Just enjoy your moment and i sincerely wish you guys with lucks! =)

2011年11月24日星期四

抒发

最近泡着一部韩剧：《老婆大人俱乐部》
具体的故事，我就用一句话来形容（因为都还没看完，而且也不是要写关于它）：就是《犀利人妻》的晋级版。
当中，主角一直重复一句话：“你以为当女人/男人很容易吗？”

回想起来，我们大家都是在顾着埋怨另一半看不到我们。所以才一直认为，身为女人/男人，都不是一件很简单的事。
原来，我们只是在爱着自己，也只是在为了自己的利益而过生活。

我这篇主要的，还是要把一些在内心的话给说出来。
而说出来的同时，我也知道我间接伤害了你或她，更或者我让他和你失望了。
所以，偶尔我也编辑了我的内心话。为的就是不想要任何担心我。

19岁的我，快要面临人生的另一个阶段。

而最近发生了很多事，也给了自己压力，脑子自然在转，一直在思考着这些问题。

那些问题是什么，我自己又看不清。

只知道，有时这些问题会突然出现。出现后，我会开始担心害怕，接着就自动开始自我催眠。

也许你会说，这么小就这么烦恼了，那以后长大了还得了？

呵呵~我有时也在问自己这个问题。

父母说我长大了，成熟了，所以开始静下来了。以往的童真也渐渐消失了。最近也一直在听到他们在回味我小时候发生的趣事。

和朋友之间，我也开始学会妥协了。从他们身上，我也看到了很多面的我。有时会突然那霎那觉得自己好寂寞好悲哀。至于原因，我想让自己再次确认。

在陌生人面前，我一贯保持沉默。偶尔观察这个陌生人的举止行为，偶尔假装让自己的脑袋防空。

而在我自己面前时，有时我很想放声大哭，有时很想大声地笑，有时只是想要躲在角落里头。这些念头都只是念头而已，搞到有时我认为自己有人格分裂症。

放心，我还是很正常。只是偶尔需要各发泄空间而已。

是的，这么看回，我的确是在成长。

至于长到什么样子，我自己也不知道，也不想现在知道。

我只知道，自己现在要专心好好过每一天。

每天都感恩我还能呼吸，我还能微笑，我还能流眼泪，我还能破口大骂，我还能享受欢乐，我还能感受幸福，我还能为自己的下一步努力打拚。

放心，我现在只是遇到低潮。我也需要一个发泄空间。
太多太多情绪收在心中了，是时候要疏通疏通一下。
也不要把这些事情再放在心上了。
我好累，也觉得很疲倦。收久了，也不知道自己何时会爆炸。
那不如现在转力量为文字。让这些文字吸收这些情绪。慢慢地让它们蒸发掉。

所以说，回到第一道题：男人/女人都这么难做吗？

我只认为，要做自己才有点难。但只要懂得沟通和相处，还有什么更困难的？

2011年11月19日星期六

Slacking week

I dont know how to describe my week.
I was slacking, and cracking my head too.
Though, it doesnt feel as much adventurous it was, i still glad that i'm breathing now.

Went for another company interview on Friday.
Well, all i could say is, i really wish they will accept me.
It would an honor and my pleasure to work with them.
Though it look kinda small, i think i could learn way much more.
After all, i'm only gonna be intern for 3 months, and i really do hope i could learn as much as i can.
I promise to transform like a sponge, so that i could learn things easily and quick.
No matter what, please call me back and give me good news!
Yes, i mean it, GOOD NEWS!

Oh ya, our house are welcoming a new member.
Too bad we had to sell off the old member.

Well, my dear serve-us-for-almost-17-years car, you been with us through ups and downs.

You had serve us without any complains and negative comments.

You drove us to our destination with safety.

You made us feel safe whenever we are with you.

It sadden me when i first heard that we had to sold you off, but i knew you will find another good master like my dad.

As for the new member, welcome to our family.
We promise to take good care of you and be part of our family.

I guess that's all for this week.

November is coming to the end.

How horribly fast is that.

No matter what, always dont forget to smile, my dear.

2011年11月13日星期日

爆发

曾经遗失过，后来又得回来了。
后来的后来，有人决定要放手。

5个月的时间，我都一直在压抑着自己。

一直告诉自己，要活得比昨天更开心，更爱自己。

殊不知，原来我用错了方式。
我就这样过了5个月。
各种原本该发泄的情绪，都被我压抑着了。

那天，因为一场误会，5个月所压抑下来的负面情绪，都爆发出来了。

失望，难受，挫折，自责，自卑，脾气，眼泪。。。

都在那一霎那都爆发了。

我深深清楚知道，我弟是无辜的。
可是我就是无法控制自己。
我知道，其实真正的对象，是他。
但，爆发出来了，就无法收回，我只好任由情绪和不理智覆盖我。
我就这样，提高声音，没有理智的脑袋，残酷的用词，可以杀人的眼神，都一一发泄在我无辜的老弟身上。

我当然最后有道歉。
但我始终无法告诉老弟，为何我会这么激动。
我就只能一直说着对不起。

夜晚，我躺在床上。
回想那5个月我到底是如何度过的。

我到底用了多少谎言来平复我自己？

我到底对自己实了什么法术来接受那时的自己？

我又是如何收藏了那些情绪？

如今的我，只想专心拼我的未来。
管我以后到底是不是在我国内或国外深造。
管我以后是不是会实现我的梦想。
管我以后到底会不会出现另一半。

现在目前这时候的我，最重要，就是把时间和幸福与我的身边最爱的家人和朋友分享。
更更更重要，我不能再欺骗我自己了。
该发泄的发泄，就应当立刻发泄。

因为，我必须要成长了。

2011年11月7日星期一

Marry Me by Train

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.
Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I’ve had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won’t let them see
But there’s one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Together can never be close enough for me
To feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I’ll wear out the words I love you
And you’re beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally showed her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Promise me you’ll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to sing to you
When all the music dies
And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Marry me
*
Gone through a week of November. So far so good.
Nothing special needed to clarify or showing out.

Yes, i admit. I'm a boring people, with no extra outings or any party to attend.
I mean i do enjoy my time in home.
At least, i no need to worry about food, water, comfort and whatever it is.

I'm not saying i'm not enjoying when i'm hanging out with my friends.
It just a different kind of feeling.

With family, i know there's nothing i should be worry about.

With friends, i always can define the words "fun" and "happy".

Nevertheless, i still enjoy my time being alone.
Haha~ I'm a typical Aries. So if you wanna learn more about me, why dont you study a bit about it.
xD

My point is, i cherished and appreciate every moment i'm breathing now.

Be it with my family or friends or even with myself.

Putting this song as my blog background music doesnt show i'm hungry to be married now. (At least not for now. x))
It just happened to pop up my mind when i was changing my song.
I love the meaning in this song. And of course, i do wish i could hear it from a man who loved me deeply.

Yet, for now, i just want to focus on my future. Make used of my everyday with the loved ones. Breathing and loving at the same time. Last but not least, always remember to smile. 

So, like usual, November, please treat me nice. This time i wouldnt wish for anything, but health and love be granted to everyone.

2011年11月3日星期四

是你的

都说，只要坚持一点。

因为注定是你的，就会是你的。

亲爱的，未来的路也许有点困难。

但永远不要忘了，这是你从小的梦想。不要遗失了它，也不要污染了它。

加油，亲爱的！


" Just me and my life. Amelea Ceci Chenz Derick Elie Eunice Gabriel Nikki Rachel Stef Yee Kang Yee Ying YY 大学园敬全颂蔚六月 2007 七月 2007 八月 2007 九月 2007 十月 2007 十一月 2007 十二月 2007 一月 2008 二月 2008 三月 2008 四月 2008 五月 2008 六月 2008 七月 2008 八月 2008 九月 2008 十月 2008 十一月 2008 十二月 2008 一月 2009 二月 2009 三月 2009 四月 2009 五月 2009 六月 2009 七月 2009 八月 2009 九月 2009 十月 2009 十一月 2009 十二月 2009 一月 2010 二月 2010 三月 2010 四月 2010 五月 2010 六月 2010 七月 2010 八月 2010 九月 2010 十月 2010 十一月 2010 十二月 2010 一月 2011 二月 2011 三月 2011 四月 2011 五月 2011 六月 2011 七月 2011 八月 2011 九月 2011 十月 2011 十一月 2011 十二月 2011 一月 2012 Bituwin - template Dementee - image Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls. Hit counter code here	2011年11月29日星期二 All the best =) Finals are just around the corner. Less than one week, to be exact. And i'm up here just to post something, so that my blog doesnt look dead. It was after that incident, i've kinda lost my passion in blogging. I dont know why, but it took me quite a while to find back. But one problem, i cant find a topic to write about. Maybe i had a boring life. Or maybe i've used to express my feelings in a 150 words limit Twitter. Still, i'm glad that i found back this blogging mojo and right now, i gotta gain myself back. One last thing before i signed off, May Buddha bless everyone with health and happiness. Nothing can be accomplish without both of them. Especially to all my beloved STPM friends, all the best and enjoy your last moments with wearing that blue and white uniform to examination hall. Just enjoy your moment and i sincerely wish you guys with lucks! =) 22:50 · 2011年11月24日星期四抒发最近泡着一部韩剧：《老婆大人俱乐部》具体的故事，我就用一句话来形容（因为都还没看完，而且也不是要写关于它）：就是《犀利人妻》的晋级版。当中，主角一直重复一句话：“你以为当女人/男人很容易吗？” 回想起来，我们大家都是在顾着埋怨另一半看不到我们。所以才一直认为，身为女人/男人，都不是一件很简单的事。原来，我们只是在爱着自己，也只是在为了自己的利益而过生活。我这篇主要的，还是要把一些在内心的话给说出来。而说出来的同时，我也知道我间接伤害了你或她，更或者我让他和你失望了。所以，偶尔我也编辑了我的内心话。为的就是不想要任何担心我。 19岁的我，快要面临人生的另一个阶段。而最近发生了很多事，也给了自己压力，脑子自然在转，一直在思考着这些问题。那些问题是什么，我自己又看不清。只知道，有时这些问题会突然出现。出现后，我会开始担心害怕，接着就自动开始自我催眠。也许你会说，这么小就这么烦恼了，那以后长大了还得了？呵呵~我有时也在问自己这个问题。父母说我长大了，成熟了，所以开始静下来了。以往的童真也渐渐消失了。最近也一直在听到他们在回味我小时候发生的趣事。和朋友之间，我也开始学会妥协了。从他们身上，我也看到了很多面的我。有时会突然那霎那觉得自己好寂寞好悲哀。至于原因，我想让自己再次确认。在陌生人面前，我一贯保持沉默。偶尔观察这个陌生人的举止行为，偶尔假装让自己的脑袋防空。而在我自己面前时，有时我很想放声大哭，有时很想大声地笑，有时只是想要躲在角落里头。这些念头都只是念头而已，搞到有时我认为自己有人格分裂症。放心，我还是很正常。只是偶尔需要各发泄空间而已。是的，这么看回，我的确是在成长。至于长到什么样子，我自己也不知道，也不想现在知道。我只知道，自己现在要专心好好过每一天。每天都感恩我还能呼吸，我还能微笑，我还能流眼泪，我还能破口大骂，我还能享受欢乐，我还能感受幸福，我还能为自己的下一步努力打拚。放心，我现在只是遇到低潮。我也需要一个发泄空间。太多太多情绪收在心中了，是时候要疏通疏通一下。也不要把这些事情再放在心上了。我好累，也觉得很疲倦。收久了，也不知道自己何时会爆炸。那不如现在转力量为文字。让这些文字吸收这些情绪。慢慢地让它们蒸发掉。所以说，回到第一道题：男人/女人都这么难做吗？我只认为，要做自己才有点难。但只要懂得沟通和相处，还有什么更困难的？ 22:54 · 2011年11月19日星期六 Slacking week I dont know how to describe my week. I was slacking, and cracking my head too. Though, it doesnt feel as much adventurous it was, i still glad that i'm breathing now. Went for another company interview on Friday. Well, all i could say is, i really wish they will accept me. It would an honor and my pleasure to work with them. Though it look kinda small, i think i could learn way much more. After all, i'm only gonna be intern for 3 months, and i really do hope i could learn as much as i can. I promise to transform like a sponge, so that i could learn things easily and quick. No matter what, please call me back and give me good news! Yes, i mean it, GOOD NEWS! Oh ya, our house are welcoming a new member. Too bad we had to sell off the old member. Well, my dear serve-us-for-almost-17-years car, you been with us through ups and downs. You had serve us without any complains and negative comments. You drove us to our destination with safety. You made us feel safe whenever we are with you. It sadden me when i first heard that we had to sold you off, but i knew you will find another good master like my dad. As for the new member, welcome to our family. We promise to take good care of you and be part of our family. I guess that's all for this week. November is coming to the end. How horribly fast is that. No matter what, always dont forget to smile, my dear. 21:01 · 2011年11月13日星期日爆发曾经遗失过，后来又得回来了。后来的后来，有人决定要放手。 5个月的时间，我都一直在压抑着自己。一直告诉自己，要活得比昨天更开心，更爱自己。殊不知，原来我用错了方式。我就这样过了5个月。各种原本该发泄的情绪，都被我压抑着了。那天，因为一场误会，5个月所压抑下来的负面情绪，都爆发出来了。失望，难受，挫折，自责，自卑，脾气，眼泪。。。都在那一霎那都爆发了。我深深清楚知道，我弟是无辜的。可是我就是无法控制自己。我知道，其实真正的对象，是他。但，爆发出来了，就无法收回，我只好任由情绪和不理智覆盖我。我就这样，提高声音，没有理智的脑袋，残酷的用词，可以杀人的眼神，都一一发泄在我无辜的老弟身上。我当然最后有道歉。但我始终无法告诉老弟，为何我会这么激动。我就只能一直说着对不起。夜晚，我躺在床上。回想那5个月我到底是如何度过的。我到底用了多少谎言来平复我自己？我到底对自己实了什么法术来接受那时的自己？我又是如何收藏了那些情绪？如今的我，只想专心拼我的未来。管我以后到底是不是在我国内或国外深造。管我以后是不是会实现我的梦想。管我以后到底会不会出现另一半。现在目前这时候的我，最重要，就是把时间和幸福与我的身边最爱的家人和朋友分享。更更更重要，我不能再欺骗我自己了。该发泄的发泄，就应当立刻发泄。因为，我必须要成长了。 12:28 · 2011年11月7日星期一 Marry Me by Train This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com. add music to your myspace music player add music to your myspace Forever can never be long enough for me To feel like I’ve had long enough with you Forget the world now, we won’t let them see But there’s one thing left to do Now that the weight has lifted Love has surely shifted my way Marry me Today and every day Marry me If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe Say you will Say you will Together can never be close enough for me To feel like I am close enough to you You wear white and I’ll wear out the words I love you And you’re beautiful Now that the wait is over And love and has finally showed her my way Marry me Today and every day Marry me If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe Say you will Say you will Promise me you’ll always be Happy by my side I promise to sing to you When all the music dies And marry me Today and everyday Marry me If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe Say you will Say you will Marry me * Gone through a week of November. So far so good. Nothing special needed to clarify or showing out. Yes, i admit. I'm a boring people, with no extra outings or any party to attend. I mean i do enjoy my time in home. At least, i no need to worry about food, water, comfort and whatever it is. I'm not saying i'm not enjoying when i'm hanging out with my friends. It just a different kind of feeling. With family, i know there's nothing i should be worry about. With friends, i always can define the words "fun" and "happy". Nevertheless, i still enjoy my time being alone. Haha~ I'm a typical Aries. So if you wanna learn more about me, why dont you study a bit about it. xD My point is, i cherished and appreciate every moment i'm breathing now. Be it with my family or friends or even with myself. Putting this song as my blog background music doesnt show i'm hungry to be married now. (At least not for now. x)) It just happened to pop up my mind when i was changing my song. I love the meaning in this song. And of course, i do wish i could hear it from a man who loved me deeply. Yet, for now, i just want to focus on my future. Make used of my everyday with the loved ones. Breathing and loving at the same time. Last but not least, always remember to smile. So, like usual, November, please treat me nice. This time i wouldnt wish for anything, but health and love be granted to everyone. 23:20 · 2011年11月3日星期四是你的都说，只要坚持一点。因为注定是你的，就会是你的。亲爱的，未来的路也许有点困难。但永远不要忘了，这是你从小的梦想。不要遗失了它，也不要污染了它。加油，亲爱的！ 21:44 ·