"

Can i?

How life can sometimes be this simple?

An exquisite dinner, with a simple yet the most perfect taste of ice cream.
Thats life should be, isnt it?

God will always put you through a lots of challenge and he wants you either to face it or let it rot.
If you choose to let it rot, you wont get to taste the best quality of dessert.
If you choose to face it, you can eat the hell of perfect dessert ever.

So, what position am i now?
I dont know if my life had been great after that incident happened.
I've been doing a lot of thinking and i still cant seem to find the answer.
All i always get, is the danger silence.
Sometimes, it lead to self-destruct.

Often i wonder, do i really have mental problem?
I mean i can be happy in this second, turn around, my anger starts to builds up for no reason.
In fact, i cant control it.
I just let it be.
I thought this is a way to vent my anger. A revenge to whatever had happened to me.

Had discussion with mum and cousin before.
They said, it was because i am too ego.
Too ego enough for not giving up.

I know i should stop talking about it.
I know i should give up and start focusing on my new chapter of life.
I know i shouldnt reminiscing all those memories.
I know i shouldnt act like this too.

But please give me one last chance to say it out.

Life is tough. Being together is tough. Giving up is tough. Forgetting it is tough. Avoiding is tough.
Most important, forgiving is tough and rough.
All i ask from Buddha now, is to give me strength and wisdom to get through this stage.
I dont ask much.
I just need these two elements in my life.
The others, i will find a way to overcome it.


*Promise no more emo post after this. This will be my last one.*

20:57 ·