"

Smile =)

Blasting my car speakers with Eminem album.
Turn the volume up as loud as it can.
Trying to follow the lyric as fast as i can.
It's been quite some time since i rap.
My skill was obviously sucks.

But i didnt feel disappoint at all.
Instead i smile to myself.

Thinking back, i still have the passion for hip hop.
I still love hip hop music.
I still love hip hop fashion.
I still love hip hop lifestyle.
I still love hip hop dance.
I still love everything that's in hip hop.

Rapping, was just like accessory for hip hop.
I train myself to rap.
I fall in love to rap.
Then slowly, it eats up my life.
I started to talk in a fast pace.
Everyone asked me to slow down.
And i tried.
In the end, i manage to control my speed.

Slowly, as time goes by, rapping no longer become my priority.
I start to talk in normal pace.
And i cant rap well anymore.

But, after seeing myself in the car, i realize, i've grown up.
No longer that kid that only focused in one thing.
No longer hope that one talent she discovered, can console her.
I've learn life is full with lots of things.
You just have to learn to discover it.
And then you play with it, and then you move on.
It's not a sin to try, but it's a sin not to try.

*
This house has been not quiet recently.
There is this thing is happening, and everyone was sort of involved.

Not going to talk much here.
But i just want that person to know: learn your lesson and gather courage to apologize.
It's unfair for us people that love you so much.
It's totally unfair.

We want the best for you, yet the lesson must be learn.
Listen to what the elders tell you, and ask those questions again to yourself.
Either you stand in front of a mirror, or you ask yourself quietly.
Dont pretend you're listening.
Cause we would rather talking to a wall.
Dont perfunctory us.
Cause we would rather dealing with a person with mental illness.

Just remember: we love you more than you love us.
We just want you to be a good person.
That's the only wish we would like to see it happen now...
*
I had a dream last night.
It's so sweet and i woke up with a smile.

I dream we were walking on a beach.
He was carrying me on his back.
We were happy and blessed.
I cant really remember our conversation, but i know we were chit chatting.
The dream last quite long.
It was like a never ending coastline.
We just keep walking, with him carrying me on his back.

I know why i had this dream.
I want to go to a beach very badly now.
I want to walk barefoot to feel the sands. (Though i was carried on his back.)
I want to feel the breeze.
I want him to be there.
Conclusion: i miss beach and i miss him most.

The dream was sweet and i cant keep smiling.
I hope the dream will come true.
With only me and him, walking on a beach.
Him with me, listen to my craps again.
Holding my hand, and tell me, sometimes it's ok to show your weak side.

I just miss him...

20:04 ·