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Bituwin -
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2009年8月31日星期一
Just dont let them suffer...
Listening to Leo Sayer's "I Love You More Than I Can Say"
Once again, i'm so sorry that i didnt manage to update my blog.But i did update my twitter.
So if any case, you guys can refer to my twitter.
Which is below every page.
*
This time went back to hometown for 3 days.
From Wednesday to Friday.
It was a rush to go back.
Things start when i came back from tuition.
When i parked my car, turn off the engine, mum suddenly asked us to get ready to go back.
I was like, "WTH! I didnt even get to eat lunch. Plus, there's tuition this Friday. How can i go back?"
But it was mummy warning eyes that gives me a scared.
So i started to pack things and ready for daddy to fetch us.
After having lunch, we go off with a gust of wind.
Daddy went speeding all the way to Ipoh.
Plus, it was raining and the road was slippery.
But daddy didnt care.
Cause grandpa almost went unconscious.
On the way, we keep praying that nothing happen.
Every phone call that made by my aunt frighten us.
We were so scared that we received bad news.
Luckily, everything was ok.
When we arrive to the hospital, grandpa was is ICU room.
When i saw him, all of the sudden, i thought grandpa was old.
He look so tired yet he keep struggle to stay strong.
He almost look like a soldier that will fight till the end.
Unfortunately, the nurse asked us that only two visitor in a time.
I only get to see him for like about 5 minutes.
Then i left the room and sat outside the corridor.
The weather was so bad.
It keep raining non-stop.
Outside the sky was so dark and the wind blow so strongly.
As if a disaster is going to happen.
I sat and read the book that i bought from the exhibition.
I knew i couldnt do anything, so i just pray quietly.
The next few days, grandpa had done a great job.
He's conscious and he can start to eat.
But he's still keep moaning pain.
It was nothing that we can do.
I mean, grandpa had to do physical exercise that ordered by doctor.
Of course i didnt stay at hospital.
I was at Teluk Intan while all the adults went to Ipoh.
Stay at home and look after my grandma and the others small kid.
Then, i got another bad news.
Grandma is sufferring from melancholia.
She keep saying that she's sufferring from loads of disease.
I was so hurt when she say so.
She just keep sit in a chair and wont do anything.
In that sudden, my mind keep swirling, "Will my parents be like this when the time has come?"
I wish and hope that this wont happen to my parents.
*
Three days staying in hometown makes me think a lot.
I started question myself.
Yet i couldnt find a satisfying answer.
I know there's some moral value i should remember always.
Right now, every second, every minute, every moment, i pray so hard.
I pray that nothing really happen.
If so, please do not let them suffer.
They are old enough to suffer anymore.
Just dont let them suffer...
2009年8月25日星期二
我回来了^^
听着Tank的《专属天使》
我回来了！不好意思哦～
把宝贝给冷漠了一阵子。
最近发生了很多事情。
导致忽略了宝贝。
不过，现在就让我一一地报告。
*
那天星期五，老妈突然从怡保拨电回来，要我们赶快赶上去看公公。
就酱，隔天，有点匆忙地赶上去了。
公公因为前一天有点昏迷。
医生当时还说，现在真的什么都不能帮。
公公一定要渡过这关，不然。。。
所以老妈才拨电要我们赶上去。
当我们抵达时，公公也好了起来。
整个人也开始比较有精神起来。
真是谢天谢地！ ^^
忘了说，因为最近都在流行H1N1，进医院时，还要量体温和洗手。
除此之外，还要戴口罩。
我是很讨厌代口罩啦～
为了考试，我还是戴了一整天。
再来，由于公公是躺在High Dependency Unit里面，（据了解，是比ICU来得更高风险病人住的。）护士一直禁止我们在房里面，索性我就一直在医院的大厅。说真的，整间医院都冷得要命，我就拼命往食堂买热Milo来温暖身体。
附近有间类似杂货店，就进去里面买了两本香港杂志。
这趟来回虽然是有点匆忙，可是能见到公公还平安，真的很感谢佛陀。公公，你一定要好起来。
别忘了要多做点手部和脚部运动。
就照着医生讲的，不要偷懒哦～
公公，如果你真的想要回家的话，就一定要好起来哦～
我会替你祈祷的。
*
昨天也和莉莉到KLCC去参观书展。
进场时，花费了RM2。真的很蠢的是，明明有写着Under 18的免费进场，我们还是买了进场。
算了，就当作在做慈善好了。^^
老实说，这次的书展好像去大众书局没什么两样。
只是场地比较大，爷比较多书而已。
价钱和打折，还是和普通到大众书局那样。
（这是个人看法啦～希望没有得罪任何人）
怎样都好，我这个爱书人，怎会不买书呢？
买了《色•戒》和《When Red Is Black》前者是除了贪张爱玲的著作之外，也因为王力宏曾参与这部电影。^^
后者是由一位我很欣赏的作者，Qiu XiaoLong写。
迟些在写更详细的。
买完了书，和莉莉去看G.I. Joe。
看了之后我们就回了。*
假期要更努力读书了。
要加油哦～
各位SPM考生们，我们要一起加油哦！><
2009年8月20日星期四
Holiday coming ^^
Listening to Simply Red's "Stars"
Finally!!!Exam is over!!!
But wait!
After holiday, there will be trials.
Man~
I should plan my holiday now.
Gotta keep study and study and study...
*
Ok.
A brief report about how my exam will be.
- Add math-- Guess i will pass. At least i know how to solve most of the question.
- Sivik-- This is boring...
- Chinese-- I dont know why. I just had this bad feelings about it.
- Malay-- It's was so-so. Nothing much to talk about.
- Math-- Will pass too. (I wish)
- Moral-- I have kiss its ass. Not good, in a sense.
- English-- This is kinda easy. Just dont know if i can score well.
- Physics-- All thanks to tuition teacher. First time ever, i answered almost the whole paper. ^^
- History-- This too. I have kiss its ass. I sucked!!!
- Chemistry-- This is useless. I just cant think anything when i grab the paper.
But i need to do more revision on Chemistry, History and Moral.
So do other subject.
Well, wish me luck then.
*
Grandpa and grandma still havent recover yet.
Or so the hospital says.
Mummy and daddy are on their way to Ipoh to take care the both of them.
I want them to be save.
Or at least dont let them suffer.
It's so hurt when seeing everyone is helping.
But me alone here, cant do anything.
Because of the sickening H1N1.
Otherwise, i wont care if there's any examination or whatsoever.
I will definitely be there right now.
Buddha~
You gotta let them get over it.
If only i knew how...
2009年8月16日星期日
喘口气。。。
听着张宇的《用心良苦》
公公的情况时好时坏。真的令人担忧。
佛陀啊～
你一定要保佑他渡过这一关。
不然，至少也不要让他受苦。
真的很痛苦看着他这个样子。
然后我国的医疗系统也不是很帮到他。
反而有种能拖就拖的感觉。
公公，一定能熬过这关的！
加油！
*
到底什么时候我才可以自由地驾车？
这个问题真是十个未知数。
老爸还是不放心。
我又能怎样？
难道又要反抗？
可是现在被考试的心情全都压抑了。
不能再又别的心情来打乱。
但，我真的有时很想帮忙减轻负担啊～
这也是为什么当时的我坚持要在今年拿到驾照。
就是不要让你们俩老为了我们而常常得放弃某些计划。
我真的相信我自己已经可以了。
也许真的经验还不够。
不过，经验是靠时间慢慢累积的。
我会努力的。
你们要信我！
*
这就是最近我内心的表情。考试真的是在折磨人。
不知是压力最近在搞怪还是什么。
我会常常忘记东西。
而且变的很容易感到疲倦。
整颗心都常常为了读书而觉得很沉重。
好像快点熬过。
至少我的心灵不用负担这么重。
快点熬过。
然后让我喘口气。
压力和考试，我真的很佩服你们。
能把我形成这个模样。。。
2009年8月14日星期五
Wish me luck ^^
Listening to David Cook's "The Time Of My Life"
Today exam starts with Chinese paper.So far so good.
Nothing to be worried of.
Still, gotta keep up the hard work.
Spm is counting down.
Trials will be start from next month.
Guess i must really keep my promise now.
Wish me luck. ^^
*
And exam havent really start.
Been planning for the whole holiday.
Haha~
I know i sound terrible.
But sometimes, it motivates me to study.
Course i dont want to feel guilty while i'm playing.
At least i will tell myself that i've done the best.
It's not like i didnt did any preparation.
Therefore, dont blame me if you think i'm terrible.
It's just my another way to motivate me.
*
Grandpa is ok now.
Aunt will be back tomorrow morning.
While daddy and mummy is going back tomorrow morning too.
Be strong, grandpa.
I know you can do it!
Just stay strong. ><
2009年8月12日星期三
没事的 ><
听着周杰伦的《以父之名》
唉～该害怕H1N1呢？
还是该感谢它?
为什么要感谢它？
因为它，我的注意力全放在如何去预防它，而减轻了考试压力。
再说，学校最近好像空城那样。
没什么人来学校。
昨天班上的人数是18。
今天就变到14位。
只有我们3个华人去。
我就一整天在学校读书。
真的！
我真的读书。
而且读了一整天！
连我自己也不敢相信。
我就酱读了Sej, Chem, Phy。
也做了一点Math。
差点就因为闷而死了。
还开玩笑说；假如接到消息说我在学校发生什么事，那都是因为我太闷了。
全部一个两个在家都没有来。
就我一个傻傻的去。
不过也没办法啦～
事情都没有严重到什么地步。
也没事发生。
加上这个星期五就要考试了。
还不去?
*
公公现在还在医院里。
婆婆又病倒了。
老人家真的不能病。
一生病就什么东西都找上门。
老爸也因为他们，突然变得好憔悴。
想安慰老爸，可是又怕讲错话。
所以老爸现在在公公身边。
而我们只能在这边为公公祈福。
无论发生什么事，我只祈求，公公不要受苦。
不要让他觉得很辛苦。
让他安心地养病。
然后好起来。
婆婆也一样。
不要太担心公公。
公公一定没事的！><
2009年8月9日星期日
Because Of You by Ne-yo
Listening to Jonas Brother's "Burnin Up"
Want to but I can't help it
I love the way you feel
just kinda stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I needed when I want it
I want it when I don't
tell myself I stop every day
knowing that I won't
I got a problem and I don't know what to do about it
even If I did I don't know If I would quit
but I doubt it I'm taking by the thought of it
And I know this much is true
baby you have become my addiction
I'm so strung out on you
I can barely move
but I like it
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
never get enough
she's the sweetest drugs
think of it every second
I can get nothing done
only concern is the next time I'm gon get me some
know I should stay away from
cause its no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave
I got a problem and I don't know what to do about it
even If I did I don't know If I would quit
but I doubt it I'm taking by the thought of it
And I know this much is true
baby you have become my addiction
I am so strung out on you
I can barely move
but I like it
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
never get enough
she's the sweetest drugs
ain't no doubt
so strung out
ain't no doubt
so strung out
over you
over you
because of you
and it's all because of you
never get enough
she's the sweetest drugs
And I know this much is true
baby you have become my addiction
I am so strung out on you
I can barely move
but I like it
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
all because of you
and it's all because of you
never get enough
she's the sweetest drugs
she's the sweetest drugs
*
It was a happy and great 10 days spending with Shin.
Loads of joke and fun thing we did together.
And gotta blame him for distracting me from study. ^^
Anyhow, Friday was his last day spending in school.
We took tons of picture.
And it was really a good memory.
I guess i will forget him in the future.
But i really do appreciate those times spending together.
Especially him like to bully Derick and Bigg K.
It was cool to know him.
ありがとう!!!
Some picture from Friday.
Words cant express my feeling.Sentence cant picture my emotion.
One thing for sure,we will always miss you !!!
Good luck and be happy always.
^^
*
Exam starting next Friday.
Gotta throw everything back and focus now.
Buddha, you gotta pray for me now.
I'll do my best not to let anyone down this time.
Especially me.
Good luck to the others too!!!
Gambateh!!!
2009年8月6日星期四
不应这样。。。
听着戴佩妮的《爱过》
唉～在这里要跟Stef道歉。
之前是说，每个星期五会载你回家。
可是看来，希望要落空了。
因为我老爸到现在还不放心让我独自一个人驾车。
老实说，我当然想要自己一个人驾车啦～
可是每当老爸拒绝我一次，曾经差点造成车祸的我，那些记忆会慢慢延伸进我的脑海。
仿佛就在警告我，我还不是很能驾车，最好是离开驾驶盘。
真糟糕！
不应该这样的。
可是就是不能控制我自己。
每次都让自己在打内疚和矛盾战。
最后，把自己打得剩下皮一片。
佛陀啊～
你一定要让我渡过我自己这一关。
不然，每问一次老爸，整个声音和心思都会被那些记忆说服。
真的很希望我能渡过这一关。
*
下个星期五就考试了。
先考华语。
是有点考试温习功课了。
不过，总觉得最近忙这找借口多过温习功课。
该振作起起来了。
不应在沉沦下去了。
我是应该醒来了。
应该开始打战了。
加油！
2009年8月2日星期日
Now!!!
Listening to Gavin Degraw's "Chariot"
Oh my goodness!I'm having flu now.
And the worst of all, it affected my throat.
Now i sounds like a horse.
Yes!
A horse.
Even he keep teasing me that he's dating with an animal now.
Man!
This is so annoying.
I want my voice back.
I miss my voice.
Hope Buddha will find my voice back.
Plus, i couldnt get a good night sleep.
I gotta rely on pills.
Which i hate the most.
It's not that i hate swallowing pills.
But i just dont want the pills to cure me.
I want me to cure myself.
Haha~
For now, i desperate need Strepsils.
I need it now!!!
*
It's August now.
Which means still three months to countdown for SPM.
Four months to graduate.
Man, time do really fly.
I will appreciate every moment that i'm spending now.
Whether studying or playing, i will spend my time like there's no tomorrow.
Haha~
What a philosophy.
:)