I Will Always Love You 私は常に愛する

2008年8月29日星期五

学业？活动？

听着王力宏的《爱在哪里》

今天一整天的心情有点蓝色。
不知为何？
可能突然觉得，自己还是去法像别人那样，就算努力了，还是不能得到自己要的分数。
*
化学。
一向来我最有兴趣的科学科目。
可是这次的考试，我竟然失败了。
而且还是很惨的样子。
自己的内心一直在流泪。
*
我怎能这样的没用？！
明年的spm，我又该努力吗？
如果酱的话，我又不放心华文学会的活动。。。
毕竟华语学会的活动多数是我和一班策划的。
如果要我放弃活动，然后把心思放在学业上，那我宁愿停校出外找工。
因为搞活动才能让我自己证明，我的日子很精彩。
每每办活动时，心中的成就感比拿到好成绩来得澎湃。
也许知道自己的学业不是很能可靠，所以才这么积极地搞活动。
*
今天想了很多这些问题。
所以刚刚在开会时，心有不在焉。
但，我最终还是要给自己一个交代。
这样自己才有资格为自己另找方向。
办活动的我，在学业上专心的我，都有很大的分别。
其中最明显的是，办活动时，我是那么地自信和光荣。
可是一回到学业上，我突然觉得自己好渺小，好无知。
心中的问题，还一直在盘旋。
我不懂何时才会停下来。
*
可是时间所剩无几。
spm的压力，一天比一天大。
现在虽然没那么明显，心里还是会打分数。
我该放弃？
我该再努力？
我该再证明一次？
我该专注在活动？
我该封锁我自己？
真的好难做抉择。
*
明年就是关键的一年了。
成功失败，都会间接影响我的未来。
我的广播员梦，就在明年会给我一个答案。
现在，只想一个人静静。
听听音乐，让自己的心情放松。
让自己的心，慢慢去摸一个方向来。
再深呼吸，去探索自己的能力。
我还是会做我自己的。

2008年8月28日星期四

Feeling proud...

Listening to Anita Ward's "Ring My Bell"

Hurray~
I've done finish my moral folio.
Let's celebrate!
Haha~
Cause this is the first time i done my folio with myself.
Ok.
Ya.
So i did copy some of it from yan.
Haha~
Whatever~
I'm passing it up tomorrow.
Lalalala~
I'm done with my moral folio~~~~
*
It's so strange.
Till now, i've fail my physics and biology.
But i didnt feel any regret or sadness.
It's like...
I feel, it's ok, maybe i can try for the next time till spm is coming.
And also, it's like someone is telling me that, i did my revision and the teacher is blind.
Haha~
I know the second thoughts is a bit stupid.
But ya, i did feel that way.
Gosh~
This is the first time i feel so proud even though i failed my exam.
Haha~
Mind you, i really did my revision.
Add math, chem, phy, sej...
(Since i decided to drop bio, i didnt really put an effort in it.)
Dont tell me that i've grown up.
Nope.
I dont.
And i dont feel a single bit of it.
I guess it's a process i'm still going through.
If the time has come, then i'll announce that i've grown up.
Just like the other time.
If not, i'll keep it in silence, till the bud of flower has blossom.
Look at the bright side, i'm still me.
The craziest girl you ever met!
Hurray!

2008年8月26日星期二

快要死了。。。

听着范玮琪的《一个像夏天一个像秋天》

讨厌啦～
一大早就肚子痛！
还痛到不能走路。
现在感觉在地狱中渡过。
*
没什么啦～
就像做点东西来转移我的注意力。
好让自己本身不会觉得什么痛。
读了报纸、读了刚买可是要看完了的书、抱着枕头、听着音乐、吃了一点的早餐（肚子痛到难以迟东西）、到处逛部落格。。。
酱一个早上就做了很多东西来转移我的注意力。
唉～
真的很痛苦哦～
好像快点好起来，然后可以过生活啦～
拜托～

2008年8月24日星期日

Closing ceremony and goodbye

Listening to Danity Kane's "Damaged"

Yikes~
School reopen by tomorrow!
No!
I dont want!
Haiz~
There's one good thing: I can exercise to get rid of my fats.
Why?
My school is up at a hill.
And i walk up the hill everyday.
Good exercise.
Hehe~
*
3 weeks long.
Olympic Beijing 2008 is going to end at tonight, 8pm.
You know what?
I realized, after watching them, i feel that the put their very best to prove to everyone include themselves.
I mean, after all those training and hardwork, they just want to "show off".
Ok. Maybe not.
Whatever~
Lots of records, gold medal, pride, joy...
Too much of positive and negative emotions show in the face of them.
So many drama. So many plays.
We enjoy. Their improvement.
Who hates Olympic?
Just seat back and relax.
They will perform the best.
*
As for Malaysia, it's also a best things for us to win a silver medal.
Although we expect a gold medal.
No matter what, every athletics did their best.
We're proud with all those achievement.
I guess we cried before.
Seeing them arrive back to Malaysia safely, we wont mind that much.
Go for the best! Malaysia!
(Hey~ Japan and Korea was the best Asian country in the running field. Use them as a model to improve ourselves. Hehe~)

2008年8月21日星期四

我回来了！

听着曹格的《姑娘》

刚刚到家了！
好舒服哦～
果然还是家最让人觉得安慰的避风港。
*
这次去槟城玩，还蛮爽的。
我们到了算是新开张的Queensbay Mall那儿走街。
也在那边看了电影。
值得一提的是，那边的戏院外面真的很大。
也许看不惯大荧幕（那边的荧幕比这边的还要大），一直在找一个地方集中眼神。
看了“You Don't Mess With The Zohan”
超好笑的。
也蛮色色的。
哦～
对了！
由于我们看的是半夜场，好像蛮多人穿着睡衣进场。
不是说什么啦～
就当地的习惯，我哪敢讲什么东西。
还是真的让我打开眼界。
*
就酱子先啦～
我要睡了。
好累哦～
晚安。

2008年8月18日星期一

Have I Told You Lately by Rod Stewart

Listening to Trick Daddy feat. Lil Jon & Twista's "Let's Go"

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
take away all my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do
For the morning sun in all it's glory
Greets the day with hope and fort too
You fill my life with laughter
and somehow you make it better
ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine
and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
we should give thanks and pray
to the one, to the one
Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
take away all my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine
and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
we should give thanks and pray
to the one, to the one
And have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness
take away my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do
Take away all my sadness
fill my life with gladness
ease my troubles that's what you do
Take away all my sadness
fill my life with gladness
ease my troubles that's what you do
*
Just came back from hometown.
But getting ready to Penang tonight.
Ya~
I know.
I cant go to Times Square with the girls.
Look on the bright side, i gotta spend my time with my family.
It's been a tough days for me with my family.
Especially my swifty mood.
Sometimes i cant control myself.
But they still love me.
Hehe~
*
Oh ya~
I went back to hometown.
And guess what i did?
I was driving a car!!!
Haha~
Ok.
It's nothing to be show off.
I drove a manual car.
And damn, it's not easy.
I mean if you compared to auto car.
Gotta learn how to let go the clutch slowly.
And not to let go the clutch whenever the car stops.
It was so much fun.
Thanks to Daddy and Mummy.
They were the one who accompany me during the ride.
I was so nervous till my body was sweaty.
No kidding.
I almost knocked on a motorcycle when i was turning a junction.
Haha~
You should be proud of me.
Because i wasnt screaming.
Instead i act calm.
And it did work.
Haha~
Cant wait for the next ride.
(Sorry for no pictures. Cause i was so thrilled. Plus, how can i ever let you see my sweaty expression. Haha)
*
Gosh~
Chong Wei lost!
Never mind.
At least there's a silver medal.
Haha~
Chong Wei, YOU ARE THE BEST!!!
*
Oh ya~
Still remember i said about my favourite archery.
Yes!
I just went googled him.
My gosh~
He look so...
Haha~
No offense.

Ok. His at the center. Open your big eyes.

With his team mates after winning the gold medal.

Boy~

Arent they so cool???

My gosh~

Close up when he's shooting.

He's just so cool!!!

Ok.

For his profile, you can visit this website.

朴敬模's profile

He's a genius.

And he's so good at archery.

Look at all those achievement he went.

Haha~

No wonder he's my new idol!!!

Hurray!!!

2008年8月14日星期四

考完了！！！

听着谭咏霖的《半梦半醒之间》

终于考完了！！！
这次考试，完全没有考试的气氛。
班上每个人都在抄答案。
当然，这也是我们班最厉害的地方。
因为我们可是光明正大地超哦～
不信，可以来我的学校问。
虽然没有video来做证明。
嘿嘿～
*
这也是我第一次，这么有自信地进考场。
也不是说之前考试都没有自信。
只是说，这次的一点也不怕自己会怯场。
哈哈～
甚至连最后一个科目-- 化学，我都没有读任何笔记。
因为我很早就温习了嘛～
要感谢奥运。
因为它们给了我一个动力去温习。
哈哈～
真的！
当初我还怕说，自己会很心虚地在看奥运，所以要早点温习，好让自己不会在心虚地作答。
无论成绩出来是什么，我想，我已经很满足了。
我已经做了自己该事先准备的功夫。
没什么好遗憾的。
嘻嘻～

2008年8月12日星期二

Proud of myself

Listening to Leona Lewis's "Better In Time"

Man~
I'm really proud of myself.
Why?
Because i actually know how to answer all those exam questions.
I mean, i'm better than last time that i didnt even know what the questions is asking for.
Well, ya, of course i cant guarantee that i can score with a great number.
At least i'm able to answer all those questions.
Haha~
I should be proud.
Oh ya~
Just in case you didnt know.
I'm watching olympic almost the whole day.
Haha~
Yup~
I did my revision early.
So i get to watch olympic.
Ya~
I know, it's a lame excuse to do revision that early.
But hey, I DID MY REVISION!
Haha~
I'm just so happy now.
*
Korean is going to be my favourite country of athletics.
Especially the team of archery.
They were amazing.
So amazing that i couldnt help to scream when they score the high marks.
Not to mention, the girls team had been the champion since 20 years ago.
Gosh~
They were just so AMAZED!
Some of the korean boy are cute too...
Haha~
Olympic did caught every single of attention.
May the best WINS!!

2008年8月10日星期日

我回来了！

听着林俊杰的《就是我》

天啊～
奥运的开幕让我几度忘了呼吸。
那种完美的表演简直是我们都无法想像的。
高科技的荧幕让我不禁问起自己：马来西亚何时才能有这样的水准？
那种整齐度、热情、服装、诚心、骄傲，我都感受到了。
每个表演都是他们的汗水而呈现的。
在最后由李宁来点燃火炬时，心中是多么地感慨。
很多次了。
我都忘了呼吸。
胸口紧紧跟着他们的音乐和旋律在拍动。
实在无法想像，他们成功握住了每个人的眼镜和心。
开始期待闭幕时所带来的表演。
也希望2012年在伦敦举办的奥运，绝对不会输中国！
*
今天回到大学园。
当然是去e乐园啦～
今天到taman jaya去玩。
果然！
回到那边，心中莫名地安抚下来。
仿佛这边是我另一个避风港。
可能今天我的表现有点静。
我还是很享受每一个时刻。
看这大家在努力地办活动。
我还是无法忘记这份感动。
*
也拿到了我们总团发的cd。
这张cd纪念去年2007年十周年庆。
每一首个都见证我们成长。
一年比一年更进步。
一年比一年更厉害。
每一首个也证明我们每一个人都是人才。
不能欺骗自己。
也不能用什么花言巧语来掩饰自己那份感动。
黑色的封面。
十首感动的歌曲。
里面的歌词让我更加清楚自己在唱什么。
cd的设计，简单且带出来我们不容易被打败的感觉。
我找到了自己的方向了。
这次我总算可以安心地回第二个家-- 大学园！

2008年8月8日星期五

Backstreet Boys

Listening to Madonna's "I Love New York"

Nothing much...
All of sudden miss this song.
First mv to taught me that mv is not only singing and dancing.
You can be creative.
Ya.
It's an old song.
So what?!
Enjoy~

2008年8月7日星期四

考试？奥运？

听着信乐团的《一了百了》

明天就是考试的第一天。
考华语。
衰样的是，明天的北京奥运的开幕。
不理啦～
照样看！
管它什么考试都好。
*
最近我真的有认真地在温习。
在班上，就算被莉干扰，还是勉强地可以读。
还是要对几个老师说，对不起。
上课时，我没有听课。
反而在后面读自己的书。
老师在前面讲，自己在后面温习。
老师讲了什么，也没听到。
真的对不起。
*
每次靠近考试间，很多人都不来学校。
都留在家自己温习。
我相信他们是真的有读的。
哪像我？
我宁愿在学校温习。
这样有什么不明白的，都可以找朋友问。
而不用在家拖着。
有时酱一拖，都忘了那些问题。
怎样都好，大家都要加油哦～

2008年8月5日星期二

What the!!!

Listening to Rod Stewart's "Have I Told You Lately"

I'm damn piss now!!!
Not because of my parents or family now.
It's a guy!!!
*
Our class had a water fight today.
Yes.
We use water instead of pillow.
Anyway, it's all started at lab.
We were supposed to do an experiment.
I was kinda getting high.
So, started to play with the pipe.
I know it was my bad.
But that accidently trigger my class boy of naughtiness. (It was my class monitor's group)
Our of nowhere, they played with the syringe.
First, they filled up the water.
And the target at Princess.
So there goes the story start.
We had a little water fight at the lab.
Later, it went back to class.
Gosh~
Should take a photo at our class.
It was WET!
VERY DAMN WET!!!
*
It wasnt the water fight that make me mad.
It was someone that who cant stand us girl for being that SELFISH!!!
He said, "If you dont feel comfortable, then dont play lah~"
WALIAO~
My mood was spoiled by his stupid, ugly, fxxx comment.
I mean, come on, it's just a game.
Plus, i was fooling around.
I did appologize to the person that i flipped his table.
So what if i'm a the queen of everything?!
So what if i think that all guys are useless?!
Because of your attitude, makes me more mad.
At least, i'm proud to say, "I'M BETTER THAN YOU, DORK!"
Gosh~
I'm so DAMN PISS!!!
I cant believe that he's such narrow-minded.
Not to mention, so DISGUSTING!!!
Oh ya!
He wrote my BIG NAME in his BLOG!!!
As if the world needs to know how i thought about guys!!!
THIS is the reason that makes me really, REALLY mad!!!
DAMN FXXXING MAD!!! *Breathing in and out*
I'm not talking anymore.
Otherwise he's going to TALK MORE THAN I DO!

p/s: Dont blame me if YOU're reading this post. Because you really make me damn piss. And i've had it enough.

2008年8月3日星期日

春泥哈林

听着王力宏的《唯一》

漫天的话语纷乱落在耳际
你我沉默不回应
牵你的手你却哭红了眼睛
路途漫长无止尽
多想提起勇气好好地呵护你
不让你受委屈苦也愿意
那些痛的记忆落在春的泥土里
滋养了大地开出下一个花季
风中你的泪滴滴滴落在回忆里
让我们取名叫做珍惜

迷雾散尽一切终于变清晰
爱与痛都成回忆
遗忘过去繁花灿烂在天际
等待已有了结局
我会提起勇气好好地呵护你
不让你受委屈苦也愿意
漫天纷飞的话语落在春的泥土里
滋养了大地开出下一个花季
风中你的泪滴滴滴落在回忆里
让我们取名叫做珍惜
让我们懂得学会珍惜
*
从小就开始学钢琴。
学学停停学学。
这就是我学钢琴的路程。
现在的我，还是在学着钢琴。
而且也很庆幸遇到了一个很健谈且幽默的老师。
我现在没有拿任何的考试。
不想被考试的压力来压迫自己。
再说，以前的阴影还在我的心里。
所以我到现在还是没有勇气去面对考试。

昨天，老师偶然提起。
问我要不要考试？
我从来都没有想过这个问题。
但老师这一提起。
心里澎湃了一阵。
好久没有这样被人点醒。
可是怎的，心里还是抗拒了。

外表的我是很想继续考试。
内心的我却一再地提起那段阴影。

我没答应老师。
也没说什么。
只是落下了一句：“我会考虑。”
我的语气是有点敷衍。
也有点挣扎。
我不知道自己是否应该认真地考虑这个问题。

老师说，把它当作是一个证明自己的考验。
我。。。
还是挣扎了。。。

我真的不知道该怎样好。。。

2008年8月1日星期五

Changes...

Listening Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown's "No Air"

It's august today.
And let's see what have i done at july.

There's the cheer competition i went to support.
A success camp dedicated to everyone.
Charity run which helps me to sees my teacher's smile.
Add math teacher all of the sudden rushing to finish the syllabus.
I cut my hair short again.
Had lots of fight with my family.
Scolding the stupid internet line.
Download movies but not yet see finish.
Watch all the movies that i've waited for a long times.

I've been crazy for the whole month.
I cant count the times.
But sure i can keep those as memories.
Those wondeful and beautiful with my family and sista.
It's a mixed of sour and sweet of the month.
I like the way it works.
Makes me more feel like i'm really living this life.
It's so great that i'm really feeling fine.
Even though my mood is still swifty.
I managed to control it this time.
Without hurting anyone.
I'm so glad.
And so touched too.
*
People surrounding me will feel that i'm changing.
Because all of the sudden, i started to do revision.
I know it's a weird.
I do feel the same.
I dont know what makes me change that much.
I was so shocked.
But, at least i treated it as a way to clear my sin for not listen in class.
Hehe~
I want to change.
Change from any way.
Give me a clue and some patience.
I promise i'll change.
*
Went to had a meeting with smkbsd2.
Discuss about our latest activities.
Will give more information after another meeting to confirm everything.
So everyone of you that who is interested.
Do look for update from us.
And clear away every plan that you are making the day.
We will give more information at the school.
Stay tuned.
:P