I Will Always Love You 私は常に愛する

Happy Chinese New Year

2012-01-29T11:45:00.003+08:00

For the first time ever, throughout my 20 years, this year Chinese New Year got to be the most FUN AND BUSY ever!!!

*Wont be writing any of it. Plain lazy. Too much to write about.

Still, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! Angpau mari mari!

无聊篇

2012-01-15T21:17:00.001+08:00

就这样，实习一个星期了。
因为某些因素，我不方便在这边透露我的实习状况。
但我能说的是，目前的我是蛮得空的。要等到新年过后，就可有我忙了。
哦~忘了说，我现在是在华研上班。
就是那个签了S.H.E.，动力火车，Olivia Ong等艺人。
这么说来，就大概知道为什么我说新年过后就有我忙了。呵呵~

整个星期下来，就想念的还是宝宝。
那天星期五，宝宝早到我家，还陪她玩了一会儿。
上班时，也不会觉得有点迷失错乱。
可能真的太想念宝宝了，难得看到宝宝，整个心情也好很多了。

最近也在帮着老妈做饼干。
只是做来给自己吃，然后送送礼。
每天就做到半夜，我们母女也常常坐下来聊了很多。
至于聊了什么话题，那就留着我们母女俩吧~
哈哈~

还有还有，我换了新发色。
今年没做什么大改变。
因为我下定决心要把头发留长。所以就要求发型师只是修剪好了。等头发长了点，再打算看要烫或电发。
就放在照片，看看我的新发色。

First week of January

2012-01-08T00:07:00.001+08:00

So far, first week of January had been treating me good.
Nothing bad happened, nothing uncomfortable, nothing unjoyful.
Instead, i was happy and satisfied the whole time.
Ok, except for the weather, which had been ridiculously HOT!

One more day of holiday, and i will start my internship on Monday.
Not very nervous, excited, feeling good.
Just one thing - what should i wear to work?
I mean if they need formal clothing, oh boy, i got only one formal suit, and the rest are jeans and t-shirts.

But, whatever, all i have to do is adapt the environment, act like a sponge, willing to learn more all the time.

Most important, able to accept critics and handle the compliment.

For most of the time, have to act like a sponge and a chameleon.

I know i can do it and i shall do it.

*
One more thing.
Mum had taken a offer to babysit an 11-month baby.
For the past week, it was mostly me taking care the baby.
Ok, not for the feeding and bathing part.
Most of the time, i was playing with the baby, accompanying her, have fun with her.
I even change her diaper. I always teased, there, i gave away my first time. xD
Overall, the baby become adore me and starting to dependent on me.

To be truth, i never had this feeling before.
I dont know whats the right word for this feeling.
I mean i look after the baby for the whole day, and now, all of the sudden, i had to leave her due internship.
It was leaving my own daughter alone.
Haiz~ I must love her too much nor spending too much time with her.
Or else, this feeling wont occur to me.

Never mind, i will cope this feeling.
I will channel it on work.
So that i can go back home safely and still able to catch her (which is a small possibility).

Anyway, i just wanna say,

Baby, you are always be loved by us.

<3

2011年 =)

2012-01-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

形容2011年。

2011年，对我来说，太多情绪，太多回忆。
有好的，有不好的。
有让人羡慕的，有让人愤怒的。
我得到很多，同时也失去很多。

2011年。

刚开始，一切看起来很完美，很美好。

甚至我希望一直这样沉醉在里面。

我看到我的小小未来，也以为自己就这样沉淀下来也没关系。

我还差点牺牲了自己的梦想。

在半部，我失去了，那个曾经带给我欢乐幸福的。
直到现在，我很佩服当时的我。
虽然一整夜的失眠，我还是能驾车到学校上课，甚至去做工。
我没到处宣扬。都是大家因关心而来问候。
没眼泪，没哀怨。甚至当人们开始在我面前数落我们，我都辟而不谈。有时还拜托他们不要再说别人的坏话。

直到某天，因一场吵架，我把内心埋很久的负面情绪都爆发出来。
虽然在错的对象。但那场吵架让我醒过来。
我原来一直都在逃避，根本没有正视问题。
那天起，我重新开始。学会接受当天的情绪。学会真正的放开自己的心，去接受一切。
也许我真的很认真地努力改变，我也找回了自己的梦想和目标。

后来，我发现这世界有太多事情等着我去探索，等着我去发掘。
开始把之前差点断失的关系也补回来了。
而且只要有人约，我就会想尽办法赴约。
现在也变得更容易满足，更容易开心。
一点点事情，都能立刻转变正面思考，告诉自己，这是为了我自己的好。

2011年，有太多事要感谢，有太多恩人。

他们说，9字时候，都是时运最差的时候。

使得，我敢承认，刚开始是有点。但后来慢慢的，我自己改变的。

2012年，我不敢想象自己在一段感情中。

但我知道我的重心如今在我家人朋友未来。

其他的事，就让缘分决定吧~

哈哈~

就套入阿雅在微博的一段话，

2012年，希望能用微笑看待每件事情，酸、甜、苦、辣，都能用微笑的心情品嚐。許自己擁有一顆優雅大度的心，許自己一個幸福的2012！

祝福自己，拥有一个更美，更快乐的2012！

Back from Taiwan =)

2011-12-29T12:30:00.001+08:00

I'm back! Back from Taiwan.
A 9-day trip was fun and thrilling.
There were so many wonderful memories that cannot recreate again.
It was so unique special that one cannot exchange with it.

For this post, i wont be talking much about it, as pictures had uploaded on Facebook.
Maybe i will just try to elaborate some. But for this post, i will mainly focus on story.

18/12/2011, 9am
I was in the flight, on my way to Taiwan.
For some strange reason, Rihanna's "Unfaithful" keep playing in my head like a broken jukebox.
I could not remember the whole song, but only the chorus part.

I don’t wanna do this anymore
I don’t wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don’t wanna hurt him anymore
I don’t wanna take away his life
I don’t wanna be...
a murderer
our love

It was so strange, but i just left it playing in my head for the next 3 hours.

22/12/2011
We were on our way back to Taipei.

On the way back, my mind start to flash back.

A lot of images and memories flashing back.

I wasnt shock nor sad. Instead, i just let it play and i even dream of it.
I keep telling myself, what past had been past, just appreciate the happiness you had once.
No matter it works or not, i was calm and steady, as if i wont cry or mad if we really bumped into each other.

24/12/2011
I left a message to him. Replied to his invitation. Unfortunately (according to him), he was unavailable.
To be honest, i was a bit mad. I mean, before i left for Taiwan, he keep asking for a date, and now, he's unavailable.
But to think back, maybe i was over ready for it. Maybe i thought i could keep myself in position. But then again, i failed.
Luckily, Buddha gave me a pleasant present at XiMenTing.
There were a bunch of youngsters, holing up a posters, "Free Hug".
Without hesitating, i spread my arms and hug them.

It was quite meaningful and fun.

I never done that in my life, and i couldnt help myself by smiling all the way back.

Many thanks to them for such a pleasant present and memories.

25/12/2011
It was Christmas.
The streets were full with couples.
Another scenario that make me couldnt help think, ~~what if that night we try again and be together again.~~
But i did not let that question linger in my mind.
I focus on my trip and it worth more than anything.

26/12/2011
On the way back to Malaysia, i was assign to sit alone, near window.
When the plane took off, i could see the night view of Taiwan.
It was breathtaking. I could not help but to store them in my mind.
It actually makes me cool down.
Though i couldnt sleep, my mind was clear, and this time, my head is playing LMFAO's "Party Rock Anthem"
It's weird, yet i let it play for the next 3 hours flight.

Right now, i'm typing this post in my house.
Relaxing, with my favorite song list.

I still like to thanks to many people.

Thank you for helping us whenever we need it.

Thank you for making our trip wonderful.

Thank you for creating such a special memories.

Thank you for every single of you.

Lastly, as a ending for this post, i would post my Christmas eve present.
Haha~
Thought his not handsome, but quite good looking. =)

In Heavn JYJ

2011-12-14T01:42:00.001+08:00

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.

그만 갈게 가지마 곧 돌아올 거야 그러니까
거짓말, 거짓말 아니야 내가 널 이만큼 사랑하는데
그 사랑 지금 보여줄 순 없겠니?
사랑해 또 다시 사랑할 순 없겠니

지금 와선 말할 수가 없어
너의 기적 그 모든 게 환상 같아
마지막 니 모습 속 서서히
기억 속에만 잠겨져 가는 것만 같아
어딘가에서 날 보고 있을까
후회해도 늦어버려 볼 수 없어
추억의 그림자의 촉촉한 내 눈물들로
그 자릴 지켜보고 있어

그 말 못해 정말 못해 니가 내 옆에 있을 때만큼
미안한데 그게 안돼 이젠 모든 게 떨려와
조금 더 기다리다 꿈 속을 헤메이다
결국 니 안에서 눈을 감을까 봐

가지마 더 가지마 내 곁에 있어줄 수는 없니
거짓말 다 거짓말 전혀 들리지가 않아
사랑해 널 사랑해 한마디 보여줄 수는 없니
사랑해 널 사랑해 또 다시 사랑해 주겠니

벌써 이렇게도 지나 왔어
너의 흔적 찾아봐도 지워졌어
마지막 니 기억도 눈물의 테옆 속으로
轉載來自 ※Mojim.com　魔鏡歌詞網
잠겨져 가는 것만 같아

이만 끝내 나를 끝내 니가 내 옆에 있지 않다면
미안한데 이만 갈게 이제 너의 길을 따라
끝 없는 길을 따라 널 찾아 헤메이다
결국 너를 잃고서 슬퍼만 할까 봐

가지마 더 가지마 내 곁에 있어 줄 수는 없니
거짓말 다 거짓말 전혀 들리지가 않아
사랑해 널 사랑해 한마디 보여줄 수는 없니
사랑해 널 사랑해 또다시 사랑해 주겠니

가지마 가지마 있어줄 수는 있니
거짓말 거짓말 들리지가 않아
사랑해 사랑해 보여줄 수는 있니
사랑해 사랑해 사랑해 주겠니
가지마 가지마 있어줄 수는 있니
거짓말 거짓말 들리지가 않아
사랑해 사랑해 보여줄 수는 있니
제발 돌아와줘

가지마 더 가지마 내 곁에 있어줄 수는 없니
거짓말 다 거짓말 전혀 들리지가 않아
사랑해 널 사랑해 한마디 보여줄 수는 없니
사랑해 널 사랑해 또 다시 사랑해 주겠니
*

终于都考完了！

第五学期都圆满落成！

不，等等，还有一样功课要完成，而我们现在就是正在完成着。

我也不要再抱怨了。
已经抱怨整整几个星期了。
从电脑软件开始至现在，无时无刻都在抱怨着。
所以，为了一刻的平静，我就不在这里抱怨啦~

还是开心点。毕竟考完了。有差不多三个星期的时间来好好享受。
三个星期后，就要开始人生另一个短暂的路程 - 实习。
换句话说，整整三个月的时间都不能和这班疯癫的朋友在一起了。
所以，与他们的约会，一定要出席。
心里一定会超级想念他们了。
还是不要现在说这些，不然泪水流下来，不能睡觉了。。。

结论这篇，就是没有结论。

只是纯粹想要换歌（我的最爱-JYJ！！！），和分散一下注意力。

One down!

2011-12-08T21:45:00.001+08:00

One paper down!

One more paper and one MM assignment to go!

Cant believe i'm ending my Sem5 now.
Ok, i'm not going to say the same thing as i did for the last 4 semesters.
Guess some of you already know what i'm going say.
Haha~

Anyway, the paper was quite easy, in a way.
I mean if u really do study hard Ms Su's notes and pay attention in class, it shouldnt be a problem at all.
There goes Publicity and Media Relations.
It was fun to learn more about publicity.
It was a big difference between publicity and public relation, and to be truth, it kinda helps me more to see my future.

Ok, it still kinda blur, but i guess i know what i want and what i dont want, I GUESS.

Anyway, one paper down!
Gotta survive till 16th.

17th - a date with my dear Crystal and Nikki

18th - Taiwan, here i come!

25th - Still at Taiwan, celebrating Christmas there!

27th - Baby home, i'm back!

29th - A visitor is coming my house. *superexcitedthaticandoacartwheelspinrightnow*

31th - House party!

See?
That's how my schedule had been set, for December alone.
Then i'll start my intern on 9th of January. Another dream, another journey, another experience, another way of living.

For now, let's focus on my next paper - Media Ethics and Regulations.
Peace out.
xoxo

十二月了

2011-12-03T10:40:00.001+08:00

十二月的开头还真不顺利。
考试和那死人电脑功课都撞在一起。
搞到我不知道该把重心放在哪里。
每天就是都不知道该做什么好。
最后搞到浪费了一天的时间。什么的都没做到，什么都没完成。
真的很失败，也很无奈。

十二月啊~

两年前的我，现在应该是什么都不用管。

尽情地享受我的一个月半的假期生活。

要去生活营也好，与家人去旅行也好，与朋友出门都好，什么都不用烦，什么都不想理。

如今，离开中学生涯也已经两年了。
说长不长，说短不短。
有时会突然因为一些事情，或是翻阅旧时照片，还真感叹我们都在成长啊~

说这么多，都只是要转移我的注意力。
不要再因为那死人电脑软件而搞砸本来应该美好的星期六。

最后，还是那句老话：十二月啊，你要对我好点。我已经快要被这电脑功课搞到要疯了。我答应，如果你对我好点，我就不会因为小小事情而发脾气了。也答应你，这个月的花费少点，不要再因为一时的冲动而花钱了。好吧？

All the best =)

2011-11-29T22:50:00.001+08:00

Finals are just around the corner.
Less than one week, to be exact.
And i'm up here just to post something, so that my blog doesnt look dead.

It was after that incident, i've kinda lost my passion in blogging.
I dont know why, but it took me quite a while to find back.
But one problem, i cant find a topic to write about.

Maybe i had a boring life.
Or maybe i've used to express my feelings in a 150 words limit Twitter.
Still, i'm glad that i found back this blogging mojo and right now, i gotta gain myself back.

One last thing before i signed off,

May Buddha bless everyone with health and happiness. Nothing can be accomplish without both of them. Especially to all my beloved STPM friends, all the best and enjoy your last moments with wearing that blue and white uniform to examination hall. Just enjoy your moment and i sincerely wish you guys with lucks! =)

抒发

2011-11-24T22:54:00.001+08:00

最近泡着一部韩剧：《老婆大人俱乐部》
具体的故事，我就用一句话来形容（因为都还没看完，而且也不是要写关于它）：就是《犀利人妻》的晋级版。
当中，主角一直重复一句话：“你以为当女人/男人很容易吗？”

回想起来，我们大家都是在顾着埋怨另一半看不到我们。所以才一直认为，身为女人/男人，都不是一件很简单的事。
原来，我们只是在爱着自己，也只是在为了自己的利益而过生活。

我这篇主要的，还是要把一些在内心的话给说出来。
而说出来的同时，我也知道我间接伤害了你或她，更或者我让他和你失望了。
所以，偶尔我也编辑了我的内心话。为的就是不想要任何担心我。

19岁的我，快要面临人生的另一个阶段。

而最近发生了很多事，也给了自己压力，脑子自然在转，一直在思考着这些问题。

那些问题是什么，我自己又看不清。

只知道，有时这些问题会突然出现。出现后，我会开始担心害怕，接着就自动开始自我催眠。

也许你会说，这么小就这么烦恼了，那以后长大了还得了？

呵呵~我有时也在问自己这个问题。

父母说我长大了，成熟了，所以开始静下来了。以往的童真也渐渐消失了。最近也一直在听到他们在回味我小时候发生的趣事。

和朋友之间，我也开始学会妥协了。从他们身上，我也看到了很多面的我。有时会突然那霎那觉得自己好寂寞好悲哀。至于原因，我想让自己再次确认。

在陌生人面前，我一贯保持沉默。偶尔观察这个陌生人的举止行为，偶尔假装让自己的脑袋防空。

而在我自己面前时，有时我很想放声大哭，有时很想大声地笑，有时只是想要躲在角落里头。这些念头都只是念头而已，搞到有时我认为自己有人格分裂症。

放心，我还是很正常。只是偶尔需要各发泄空间而已。

是的，这么看回，我的确是在成长。

至于长到什么样子，我自己也不知道，也不想现在知道。

我只知道，自己现在要专心好好过每一天。

每天都感恩我还能呼吸，我还能微笑，我还能流眼泪，我还能破口大骂，我还能享受欢乐，我还能感受幸福，我还能为自己的下一步努力打拚。

放心，我现在只是遇到低潮。我也需要一个发泄空间。
太多太多情绪收在心中了，是时候要疏通疏通一下。
也不要把这些事情再放在心上了。
我好累，也觉得很疲倦。收久了，也不知道自己何时会爆炸。
那不如现在转力量为文字。让这些文字吸收这些情绪。慢慢地让它们蒸发掉。

所以说，回到第一道题：男人/女人都这么难做吗？

我只认为，要做自己才有点难。但只要懂得沟通和相处，还有什么更困难的？

Slacking week

2011-11-19T21:01:00.001+08:00

I dont know how to describe my week.
I was slacking, and cracking my head too.
Though, it doesnt feel as much adventurous it was, i still glad that i'm breathing now.

Went for another company interview on Friday.
Well, all i could say is, i really wish they will accept me.
It would an honor and my pleasure to work with them.
Though it look kinda small, i think i could learn way much more.
After all, i'm only gonna be intern for 3 months, and i really do hope i could learn as much as i can.
I promise to transform like a sponge, so that i could learn things easily and quick.
No matter what, please call me back and give me good news!
Yes, i mean it, GOOD NEWS!

Oh ya, our house are welcoming a new member.
Too bad we had to sell off the old member.

Well, my dear serve-us-for-almost-17-years car, you been with us through ups and downs.

You had serve us without any complains and negative comments.

You drove us to our destination with safety.

You made us feel safe whenever we are with you.

It sadden me when i first heard that we had to sold you off, but i knew you will find another good master like my dad.

As for the new member, welcome to our family.
We promise to take good care of you and be part of our family.

I guess that's all for this week.

November is coming to the end.

How horribly fast is that.

No matter what, always dont forget to smile, my dear.

爆发

2011-11-13T12:28:00.001+08:00

曾经遗失过，后来又得回来了。
后来的后来，有人决定要放手。

5个月的时间，我都一直在压抑着自己。

一直告诉自己，要活得比昨天更开心，更爱自己。

殊不知，原来我用错了方式。
我就这样过了5个月。
各种原本该发泄的情绪，都被我压抑着了。

那天，因为一场误会，5个月所压抑下来的负面情绪，都爆发出来了。

失望，难受，挫折，自责，自卑，脾气，眼泪。。。

都在那一霎那都爆发了。

我深深清楚知道，我弟是无辜的。
可是我就是无法控制自己。
我知道，其实真正的对象，是他。
但，爆发出来了，就无法收回，我只好任由情绪和不理智覆盖我。
我就这样，提高声音，没有理智的脑袋，残酷的用词，可以杀人的眼神，都一一发泄在我无辜的老弟身上。

我当然最后有道歉。
但我始终无法告诉老弟，为何我会这么激动。
我就只能一直说着对不起。

夜晚，我躺在床上。
回想那5个月我到底是如何度过的。

我到底用了多少谎言来平复我自己？

我到底对自己实了什么法术来接受那时的自己？

我又是如何收藏了那些情绪？

如今的我，只想专心拼我的未来。
管我以后到底是不是在我国内或国外深造。
管我以后是不是会实现我的梦想。
管我以后到底会不会出现另一半。

现在目前这时候的我，最重要，就是把时间和幸福与我的身边最爱的家人和朋友分享。
更更更重要，我不能再欺骗我自己了。
该发泄的发泄，就应当立刻发泄。

因为，我必须要成长了。

Marry Me by Train

2011-11-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.
Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I’ve had long enough with you
Forget the world now, we won’t let them see
But there’s one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Together can never be close enough for me
To feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I’ll wear out the words I love you
And you’re beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally showed her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Promise me you’ll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to sing to you
When all the music dies
And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe
Say you will
Say you will
Marry me
*
Gone through a week of November.So far so good.
Nothing special needed to clarify or showing out.

Yes, i admit. I'm a boring people, with no extra outings or any party to attend.
I mean i do enjoy my time in home.
At least, i no need to worry about food, water, comfort and whatever it is.

I'm not saying i'm not enjoying when i'm hanging out with my friends.
It just a different kind of feeling.

With family, i know there's nothing i should be worry about.

With friends, i always can define the words "fun" and "happy".

Nevertheless, i still enjoy my time being alone.
Haha~ I'm a typical Aries. So if you wanna learn more about me, why dont you study a bit about it.
xD

My point is, i cherished and appreciate every moment i'm breathing now.

Be it with my family or friends or even with myself.

Putting this song as my blog background music doesnt show i'm hungry to be married now. (At least not for now. x))
It just happened to pop up my mind when i was changing my song.
I love the meaning in this song. And of course, i do wish i could hear it from a man who loved me deeply.

Yet, for now, i just want to focus on my future. Make used of my everyday with the loved ones. Breathing and loving at the same time. Last but not least, always remember to smile. 

So, like usual, November, please treat me nice. This time i wouldnt wish for anything, but health and love be granted to everyone.

是你的

2011-11-03T21:44:00.003+08:00

都说，只要坚持一点。

因为注定是你的，就会是你的。

亲爱的，未来的路也许有点困难。

但永远不要忘了，这是你从小的梦想。不要遗失了它，也不要污染了它。

加油，亲爱的！

Keep the Faith

2011-10-29T20:49:00.000+08:00

Forget it.
Remember that, if it is yours, it will be yours.
Maybe Buddha just wants you to learn more and discover more, what ability do you have.
You shouldnt give up so easily nor complaining anything.

Change your mindset and everything following will change.
Dont mind how hard it will be.
Dont see how fortune your surroundings are.
Just look at yourself and keep smiling.
You would never know how much luck it will bring at the end of day.

Dear,
I know it would tiring.
But, you are still young and there's so many things to be yet discover.
Dont ever say you are useless or less fortunate.
As a saying, "God had His own plan for you." And you just had to keep discover it.
Dear,
You are beautiful and still energetic.
Remember that the world is still beautiful.
So many people are loving you.
All you have to do, is just keep the faith.
Alright?

老妹，生日快乐！

2011-10-23T15:09:00.002+08:00

哈哈~不好意思啦~上篇的文章有点emo，因为当时太多太多的意见和想法一直在脑海挥洒不去。没办法的情况下，只好把它抒发出来。
现在终于有个机会可以好好写这篇来弥补了。

首先，要对我家老妹说声，17岁快乐！

那天15号，我们一家大小和表姐到Victoria's Station去庆祝。
因为这是寿星婆要求的。而且在几个月以前就吵着要的。
我们就省吃俭用了几个月，也在15号当天完成了她的心愿。
（在我家呢，如果要到这种地方吃，还真的要省吃俭用。这样才能在当天有借口说，是啊~辛苦存了这么久，应该好好奖赏自己。哈哈哈~特别吧~）

当晚还真的很感谢Victoria's Station的工作人员们。为我们准备了这么多。老妹啊~你还真的很幸福呢~

吃饱了以后，由于时间还早，肚子也还很涨，老爸就提议到Solaris Mont Kiara喝一两杯。
我们就来到了这件De Solvang。
里面空荡荡的，也有点冷清清，不过哪能阻挡了我们这家人的情绪。
我们不理旁人，尽情地说笑。仿佛整间店被我们包下了。
本来是时候要回家了，突然店里的公关就来关心一下。
后来得知是老妹的生日，说要特别帮老妹准备一样礼物。
原来是Flaming Lamborghini。大家都high起来了。
间中闹了不少笑话，尤其老妈的那句话：“我叫你喝，你就喝！”
哈哈~就这样老妹被老妈逼着喝了。

最后要说声，老妹啊~17岁了！

要乖乖长大。不要再做些老是让人担心的事情。

少对电脑，多做运动。尤其你那肚腩。。。哈哈~

总之呢，不管发生什么事，虽然我的语气会差点，可是我还是站你在那边的。

你就放心地把你的一切交给我，只因我不会离开你身边的。

老妹，生日快乐！

future

2011-10-20T23:18:00.001+08:00

Was supposed to update about my sis's birthday celebration.
But my mind was filled with loads of thoughts, and they are blocking my way.

This time, it wasnt the pressure.
Ok, ya, so maybe it was. But its not about college or whatsoever. Its my future instead.

For quite some time, i thought i had made my mind and i've decided to follow it.
No matter what obstacles are coming through, no matter how hard and how long will it takes, i'd still follow my decision.
But, this few days, after some conversation (or rather it was my parents talking, i'm quiet and listening), they want me to go overseas as soon as possible.

One of the reason, they are afraid that once i enter the working society, i'd lose the interest of going back to study.

I dont know how and when it will happen, but i always thought i will overcome this issue.

Until just now, i questioned myself.

Really? Can you overcome then? What if you cant? You know you are not allowed to regret, right?

One after another one, they popped out just like they way you are solving a crime.

Honestly, i cannot make a affirmative answer now. 

And i cant forecast my future. I wish i had a power of it now.

I mean, even now, the internship issue is making me losing my confidence.To what i cant be sure, but my heart sure race whenever the word "internship" is heard or said. 

Its too complicated to explain, but thats just the way i'm feeling now.

Well, i guess you can let time and fate to unfold the future.

You cant turn the next page, until the day you are ready for the next chapter.

I just need to cool myself down.

Listen to music. Enjoy a couple of movie. Pampered myself with delicious foods and beverages. Feel satisfied after a round of shopping. And, immerse myself with the loved ones.

Maybe after all these, a whole new chapter is ready to be written down.

Let it be adventure or romance, i do need some confidence to write the story out.

钱+未来=生活乐趣 =)

2011-10-12T21:54:00.004+08:00

最近的生活嘛~
要说精彩，也还蛮真的精彩的。
钱也花得很精彩。
好像开着水龙头似的。一直不停地在钱包里挖啊挖。就像无底洞，可是也会担心破产的一天。
还很“伟大"地安慰自己，钱乃是身外物，何必去操心呢~
哈哈~

可是，每次静下来，在回头看看自己的钱是花在何处。
我可没有做犯法的事情。而且都是为了我的爱人而花的。
到最后，自责感和懊恼也比较淡化了些。

钱，还真的是身外物。

很多事情是用钱都买不到的。

这是我这个月所得到的体验。

看着爱人们的笑容和爱，那种满足感是无法形容的。

不敢说我现在正在赚着大钱，而且我只是个学生而已。
但为了他们，就算要我破产，就算要打十分工，日夜不用睡觉，一天吃一餐，我也心甘情愿。
我可没有夸张哦~
我是真心真意的。
谁叫他们是我的爱人啊~
=)

所以说嘛~

钱财乃是身外物。

看开点。生活中还是有很多小惊喜等着被揭开的。

还有一点哦~
时间过得好快啊~
就快要实习了！
现在最重要就是把履历表给搞定好，还有还有，我到底会到哪件公司呢？

未来还真的让人容易感到振奋和害怕呢~

RIP Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

Was on my way driving to college. Today was a big day for us.
As usual, i always turn on my radio.
As usual too, i was listening to the news.
At first, not much shocking news, until i heard "Apple's ex-CEO, Steve Jobs had passed away."
I was like, what? Is this another April fool?
Reached college and i heard friends talking about it. Thats when i bought the news.

To be honest, i wasnt a true fan of Apple product. I was kinda ignore it as i thought Apple product were too selfish. (Excuse me, but that is what i had in my mind since i first introduce to Apple product.)
But i always admire Steve Jobs way. Especially when he giving speech.
All those inspirational and wisdom words. It can haunt you for, like a lifetime.
It was only a simple quote that change his way of living, "Live like it's your last day." and he did it.

Still, as a human, as an admirer, i just like to say, Rest In Peace.

Thank you so much for everything that you had done to this world.

Not only you change the world, but you had given motivation and chance to people like us who are on our journey to our dream.

Though we cant promise how much difference we change for this world, yet your wisdom and spirit will always be us.

Lastly, thank you for living as a legend. Your legacy will pass down from generation to generation.

R.I.P, Steve Jobs.

无与伦比的美丽苏打绿

2011-10-02T23:26:00.002+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com天上风筝在天上飞
地上人儿在地上追
你若担心你不能飞
你有我的蝴蝶
天上风筝在天上飞
地上人儿在地上追
我若担心我不能飞
我有你的草原
耶～耶～
你形容我是这个世界上无与伦比的美丽
耶～耶～
我知道你才是这世界上无与伦比的美丽
天上风筝在天上飞
地上人儿在地上追
你若担心你不能飞
你有我的蝴蝶
耶～耶～
你形容我是这个世界上无与伦比的美丽
耶～耶～
我知道你才是这世界上无与伦比的美丽
耶～耶～
你知道当你需要的夏天我会拼了命努力
耶～耶～
我知道你会做我的掩护当我试个逃避
耶～耶～
天上风筝在天上飞
地上人儿在地上追
你若担心你不能飞
你有我的蝴蝶
我若担心我不能飞
耶～耶～
我有你的草原
*
原来已经十月了。刚刚和外婆谈天时，我还一直以为还在九月呢~
十月啊~那就是说，还有距离两个月而已就要新年了。
时间过得真的好快。完全都不等人。

无论如何，生活还是得继续。
开心难过快乐悲伤幸福痛苦。
人生的调味料还在继续发挥它的作用。

我，到目前为止还很喜欢这样的生活。
什么都不用太担心。只要专著眼前最为重要的事物。其他的，到时就会自然有办法解决的。何必这么心急呢？

十月啊，十月，您要对我好些。

我只是希望自己能永远感受到幸福，那样我就很感恩了。

什么事都暂时不要去花任何心思。就这样简简单单过好了。

万一如果真的发生了，也请您赐我力量和智慧来面对。

不是说我对生活开始有点烦闷了，只是认为我之前太幼稚太不懂事了。如今我只是想要踏实地学会面对，而不是一味地找借口逃避。

十月啊，我们就好好合作，好吗？

I Love You, Grandma!

2011-09-24T21:29:00.004+08:00

From grandma,

Heard that you are single now. Its ok, my dear.
You are still young and pretty. There are still many things you havent explore yet.
Unlike me, i married in a young age and i had to take care your mum and other siblings too.
Before i knew it, time had overtaken me, and i cant even walk in a straight line anymore.

You have the potential and ability to look at other things.
You dont need to stop yourself for something that you think it worth your lifetime.
Explore around and had a fun adventure.

My dear, look at cousin. She too married at a young age, give birth to twins.
Though she looks happy, but i always wonder, why does she have to give up her time and concentrate only in her family. There are so many things she could do. But she choose to stay put with the man she thinks will be with her all life time.
I'm commenting her and certainly i'm saying she's stupid or whatsoever.
I just feel pity toward her and i hope you wont do the same thing too.

You are young and you are beautiful.
Just remember this, and you will be happy than anyone else.

I LOVE YOU, GRANDMA!!! <3 <3 <3

2011-09-21T21:58:00.001+08:00

那天，就只有我们两位，带着大家的祝福，前往一个需要大概53分钟的地点。
我们在路上，断断续续地说着话。
我不清楚她的心情是如何，但我知道我是在压抑自己的情绪，一直告诉自己：记得要微笑，不可以掉泪。

后来，我们到了目的的。
也找到了她。

看到她，我们的心情有点复杂。
但我们都很努力，一直在微笑着，也一直很努力地找话题。

那2个小时的时间，很多回忆都浮现了。
有开心的，难过的，感动的，疯狂的。
所有的所有，都像一场电影那样播放着。

老实说，我们其实从小学就知道彼此的存在。可是那时还没那么亲近。
后来，上了中学，因同班，我们开始慢慢有话题聊起来，也开始找到了彼此的默契。
我们开始亲近，也开始如同姐妹般那样的相处。
我们一起出街，我们一起旅游，我们一起伤心难过流泪，我们一起在背后讲老师，我们一起学习成长。
太多太多在一起的回忆。
在机场里面时，我才发现，当时的我们真的好天真无邪。
仿佛只要彼此在可以在一起，我们就拥有了全世界。
虽我们曾梦想要到外国深造，但，当那刻来时，我们还是希望事件能走慢点，这样我们还能见面，还能一起疯癫。

6年。
6年，说长不长，说短不短。
时间可以改变一切，同时也让人成长。
但我千万地希望，我们这份友谊都不要变质。
只因，我太爱她了。

Stef，身为朋友，身为姐妹，我其实比任何人都替你感到骄傲。

你更靠近你的梦想一步了。

只需6年的时间，你的梦想就真的成真了。

这真的可喜可贺的事情。

在那边，如果想念我们的话，尽情地spam我们的wall。

也请你不要忘了我们这份很难的友谊。

我们在这边都会照顾我们自己的。

你也要好好把握这个机会。

偶尔出去看看这世界。看这世界有多大，看这世界有多么令人振奋的事情在发生。看这世界其实还有爱和关怀的。看这世界有多美妙。

Stef，在这边要谢谢你。

谢谢你这么多年以来的照顾和教导。

也许我的脾气和疯癫会有点过火，但很感谢你还是不离不弃地在我身边。

我们也一起度过很多难关，但最后我们都很庆幸有彼此的存在。

也感谢你，让我成长，让我变得更成熟，让我有个榜样学习。

太多太多要感谢你的事情，可是我却不知要从哪儿说起。

简单来说，我的亲爱的宝贝，深深祝福你。

我爱你 <3

Pui Yee's Wedding

2011-09-11T13:39:00.002+08:00

Dedicate this post to my beloved colleague and best friend,

May the both of you shower with blessings.

May the future leads you to the road of happiness.

May the obstacles and challenge be one of elements that your love stronger.

May the smiles and laughter be the portion of love drug in your life.

Most importantly, always be in loved and appreciate the moments with your another life-long partner.

It may be hard on the way, but i believe you guys will be the most happy and blessed couple i ever met.

Thanks for the dinner.

Thanks for the joyful you shared.

Thanks for the miracle you've shown us.

Thanks for the everything you ever taught us in life.

I wish nothing, but the best for both of you.

Sincerely,

Yi Lin

昨天之后

2011-09-08T21:03:00.003+08:00

最近的天气都不是很好噢~
每天的天空都会隔着一片薄薄的烟雾。
看似浪漫，却非常的骇人。
随时还可能会导致人的免疫系统下降。
尤其那些有气喘病的人，更要小心。
像我这样的人，最近还真的很容易就喘。
偶尔还担心气喘病会不会又发作。
但，还好，都平安过关。

这整个星期都没什么特别事件发生。
要嘛~都是非常普通，非常平淡而已。

只是觉得自己非常的坚强了。

看回之前发生的那些大大小小事情，我真的靠近自己的梦想了。

比昨天更坚强，比昨天更开心，比昨天更懂得珍惜，甚至比昨天更懂得我是幸福的。

看着来吧~

未来的某天，当我再次回首看以往的自己时，我一定要感谢每个人的贡献和背叛。

有你们，就有现在的我。

Acting solo

2011-09-06T16:07:00.004+08:00

I just realize one thing, after yesterday's incident.
Why would i have to care about the past, when i know my future is filled with love and blessings?
In another word of saying, i should let the past be gone with the wind.
It's no used of linger to it.

If my reputation were to be fall like this, i should say thank you for letting me seeing who i was and how we were once.
Or maybe i was just sensitive and afraid that this will affect my next step.
Or even maybe, you didnt know about it.

I shouldnt waste my time and energy to write this post.
Or i'm just acting solo here and no one will give a shit about it.

Well, ya, i should writing about it.
I mean this was our choice, and i have to accept it and let it gone.

Well, be gone, my past.

You're over now, and there's nth i shld linger on.

哈咯~

2011-09-04T12:45:00.006+08:00

整整一个星期没有更新宝贝部落格了。
哈哈~
差不多每天都有东西要忙，每天都有事情要办。

29/08/2011
很早之前就已经计划好了。
当天除了和他们逛街，也为了某人最重要的日子。
很简单的午餐，加上我们5人的对白。
再加点惊喜和感动，当天的效果真的难忘。

也很遗憾不能在正日陪她过生日，只好采用这样的方法。
不过，只要她开心难忘就好。

Crystal，最后一年的Teenager了。
知道你不会读华语，也特地写的。
因为最终你也知道，我真的很感谢缘分让我们相遇。
也感谢你陪我度过那些最难熬的时间。
希望我们友谊能一直维持到我们无力的时候。
不要遗失你这性格，和当天的感动。
生日快乐，darling。<3

30/08/2011
这天就和家人到KLCC，参与一年一度的书展。
今年的书展相比去年，人潮也多了一些。
英文书也多了一些，华语书也蛮多选择了。

忍了一年不进书店，都是为了这天的到了。
当天我只记得，我拼命地拿书，然后放进篮子里面。
老实说，我根本就没有顾虑到价钱。
只知道要买书买书买书买书。
后来结帐时，我们全家人买了足足rm1000。
哈哈~

看到价钱时，我们有点错愕。
不过慢慢地，心里有份踏实且满足感。
接下来的一年也不会买书了。
存钱除了到台湾，也为了明年的书展了。
=)

晚餐和家人很温馨地度过。
也是很简单地对白，加上几架智能手机，我们的晚餐就这样结束了。

还记得我在心中默默地对自己说，看吧~你的生命还正在燃烧着。
好好把握今天的感动和教训。
多留点时间给家人和自己。
因为你知道，你是爱着他们的。

31/08/2011 ~ 01/09/2011
回家乡去。
虽然百般地不愿意，还是驾车载着家人回了。
这次的目的是为了祭拜公公。

本来没有察觉的。
是表姑的提醒，才发觉，原来已经三年了。
公公往生也有三年了。

三年的时间，老爸的伤口复合；家庭内一些外人不可知的事情持续在发展着；我们也快要毕业了；我的驾照也更新了；我们很快就要踏入人生另一个阶段了；还有大大小小的事情。
可惜，公公没有机会参与，也没有机会看着祝福我们。
但我知道，在某个地方，公公是在默默地守候我们。
希望我们平安长大，不要辜负身边每个人，更重要，我们都还是一家人。

有生命结束，就有新生命的诞生。
除了回去祭拜公公，也看到了表姐的双胞胎。
看着她们两姐妹，真的好感叹每个人生下来就是很勇敢的战士了。
因为她们都是不足月出生的，当时的每分每秒都是很关键的。
不过她们都平安度过，也顺利地出院。

也看到表姐的样子。
顿时觉得她好伟大。
人瘦小的，可是可以承担这一切。
很感动母爱就是这么伟大。

宝宝啊~
你们要很健康地成长哦~
要好好地与身边每个爱你的人相处。
虽然这世界看似很危险，但只要你细心点，你就会发现这世界还是有很多美好的事情的。
人生对你们来说，简直是遥不可及的地方。
但我相信，你们这两位战士，一定能闯出属于你们自己的一片蓝天。
我在这里衷心地祝福你们。
最后，很欢迎你们的到来。
<3

02~03/09/2011
这两天都到公司上班。
是时候要赚钱了。
发现自己消费太多了。
也在未来的这个月内，有几个很重要的日子也需要开销了。
加油了！
*

每时每刻都在提醒自己，少点开销，多点把握时间。
自己的体重也增了，可是我还是那样的我行我素。
每天都出门和身边的爱人在一起。
虽然会感叹，还是觉得很自足了。

要开课了，也希望自己不要懒惰下去了。
是时候动动脑筋手脚了。
加油！

Miss Jackson by Outkast

2011-08-27T13:56:00.004+08:00

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.

Yeah this one right here goes out to all the baby’s mamas, mamas...
Mamas, mamas,
baby mamas, mamas
Yeah, go like this
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
A baby drama mama, don’t like me
She doing things like havin her boys come from her neighborhood
To the studio tryin to fight me
She need to get a, piece of the american pie and take her bite out
That’s my house, I disconnect the cable and turn the lights out
And let her know her grandchild is a baby, and not a paycheck
Private schools, daycare, shit, medical bills, I’ll pay that
I love your mom and everything, see I aint the one who laid down
She wanna rip you up, start a custody war, my lawyer stay down
She never got a chance to hear my side of the story we was divided
She had fish frys and cookouts
On my child’s birthday I ain’t invited
Despite it, show her the utmost respect when I fall through
All you, do is defend that lady when I call you, yeah
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
Me and your daughter
Got a special thang goin on
You say it’s puppy love
We say it’s full grown
Hope that we feel this
Feel this way forever
You could plan a pretty picnic
But you can’t predict the weather, Ms. Jackson
Ten times out of nine, now if I’m blind fine
The quickest muzzle throw it on my mouth and I’ll decline
King meets queen, then the puppy love thing, together dream
Bout that crib with the goodyear swing
On the oak tree, I hope we feel like this forever
Forever, forever, ever, forever, ever?
Forever never seems that long until you’re grown
And notice that the day by day rule can’t be too long
Ms. Jackson my intentions were good I wish I could
Become a magician to abacadabra off the sadder
Thoughts of me, thoughts of she, thoughts of he
Askin what happened to the feelin that her and me
Had, I pray so much about it need some knee, pads
It happened for a reason one can’t be, mad
So know just know that everything is cool
And yes I will be present on the first day of school, and graduation
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
"Look at the way he treats me", shit, look at the way you treat me
See your lil nose ass homegirls got they ass up in the creek G
Without a paddle, you left the straddle and ride this thing on out
And the union girl aint speakin no more cuz my dick all in her mouth
Know what I’m talkin about, jealousy, and fidelity, envy
Cheating, beating, and to the G’s they be the same thing
So who you placin the blame on, you keep on singin the same song
Let bygones be bygones, you can go on and get the hell on
You and your mama
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
*
First and foremost, Selamat Hari Raya to all of you out there!
For those who are traveling back to hometown, please drive safely.
Remember that your loved ones are always waiting for you.
=)

So, today is Saturday.
Just came back from work. And yes, i'm working half day on Saturdays.
And now i'm blogging here.

Well, dont have any plans for today.
So i guess i just stay at home.
Online.
Watch drama.
Watch variety shows.
Eat.
Drink.
Breathe.
Talk.
Smile.
Laugh.
Walk.
Then sleep.
xD

That's definitely how i spend my day when i got no plans at all.
Well, at least i'm not spending unnecessary money.
Gotta keep remind myself that i'm going to Taiwan at years end, and i need to save up for it.
Like i said many times, i wanna shop, eat and have fun like the tomorrow is not coming and i still got plenty of time.
Haha~

Whatever i'm "planning" for Saturday, it'll be fun.
You still need a time like this in your life, right?
=)

真好！

2011-08-25T21:20:00.002+08:00

单身生活嘛~
还蛮不错的。

感觉比以前更忙碌的。
两三天就出门与朋友相聚一次。
与家人交流的时间也多了。
也可以大胆地与人搞暧昧。
哈哈~
暧昧是假的啦~

不过这样的生活也蛮充实的。
我很喜欢，也爱上了。
甚至还希望自己不要再拍拖了。
就这样一直下去就好。

而且，管它以后未来是否一个人，都一定要踏到北海道这块地，呼吸到北海道的空气，感受北海道的文化冲突。
北海道啊~
无论发生了什么事，它还是我最向往的地方。
真的希望有那么一天，我的梦想可以实现。

不过现在也要实现其中一个梦想：到台湾游玩！
最近都很努力地找资料了。
剩下的，就是要找个时间和家人一起坐下来好好讨论一下。
大家互相交流，互相找资料。
加油咯！

单身生活，原来也可以这么丰富的。
=)
*

若愛，請深愛。放棄，請徹底。等待，本身就是一個錯誤。（from 修心養生辭典）

摘自@陆明君微博

2nd week of Sem5

2011-08-23T15:04:00.004+08:00

Alrighty~
Second week of Sem5.
So far, nothing hit us yet.
Everything was going smooth and fine.
I just gotta keep praying Sem5 will treat us well.

Multimedia -- was quite an interesting subject than CG. I mean i was catching up and i do wish i can keep on going like this till the end. Received our first assignment for this sem as well.
Publicity & Media Relations -- Ms Su taught. So i guess there's nothing much to say. Oh, we are going to held an exhibition as well. Gotta start prepare it too.
Media Ethics & Regulations -- Ok, i think i might not able to survive in this class. Because the lecturer was monotone all the time. And yes, i really hate to admit it, i missed Sharaad.

So, i guess thats a rough conclusion for the first week.
Dear Buddha, please continue to blessed from all the bad omen.
We need wisdom and courage to face all those challenges and obstacles.
We do need each other as our mentor and friend as well.
Promise i will be good for the entire sem.
Alright?
=)

*Hey babe, how are you doing lately?
Any fun news?
Hope you are not crying.

Thats right, my babe, just smile like that.
Always remember, you are always in loved and loved by your surroundings.
One more thing too, you are always the lucky one.

Life is all about chasing rainbow after a big storm.
And some people just mend to come in your life, and teach you how to let go.
Be grateful for what had happened and grab on tight on your life.
Cause sometimes life can be rough and you just had to smile.

Remember, my dearest babe, i always love you. <3

我爱你

2011-08-21T12:34:00.002+08:00

连续两天都一直在泡连续剧。
那种感觉嘛~
我也不知道了。
就知道，我要继续看，继续看，继续看。

以前的我，追一套连续剧，我需要差不多半年的时间来看完。
是的，我不夸张。半年。
可是现在，两个星期就可以完成了。
所以，我一直在说，我正在破我自己的纪录。

但，我也知道自己限度。
该停止的时候，我就会停止。
该转移注意力时，我就会另找别的东西来填补时间。

而且，我是学生叻~
学业较为重要。
哈哈~
xD
*

微笑吧，我最亲爱的自己。
你今天比昨天更漂亮，更有自信了。

一切都是过去了。
欢迎来到最灿烂的今天。
今天你的运气会比任何人来得更幸运。

你是最漂亮的。
我爱你 <3

Can i?

2011-08-19T20:57:00.002+08:00

How life can sometimes be this simple?

An exquisite dinner, with a simple yet the most perfect taste of ice cream.
Thats life should be, isnt it?

God will always put you through a lots of challenge and he wants you either to face it or let it rot.
If you choose to let it rot, you wont get to taste the best quality of dessert.
If you choose to face it, you can eat the hell of perfect dessert ever.

So, what position am i now?
I dont know if my life had been great after that incident happened.
I've been doing a lot of thinking and i still cant seem to find the answer.
All i always get, is the danger silence.
Sometimes, it lead to self-destruct.

Often i wonder, do i really have mental problem?
I mean i can be happy in this second, turn around, my anger starts to builds up for no reason.
In fact, i cant control it.
I just let it be.
I thought this is a way to vent my anger. A revenge to whatever had happened to me.

Had discussion with mum and cousin before.
They said, it was because i am too ego.
Too ego enough for not giving up.

I know i should stop talking about it.
I know i should give up and start focusing on my new chapter of life.
I know i shouldnt reminiscing all those memories.
I know i shouldnt act like this too.

But please give me one last chance to say it out.

I dont want him to appear in my dreams anymore.
I dont want to fill my minds with memories with him anymore.
I just want my life back and i want it desperately.
I just want to lead my life with the way i want it to be.
I dont want to cry in silence anymore. I'm sick of it.

Life is tough. Being together is tough. Giving up is tough. Forgetting it is tough. Avoiding is tough.
Most important, forgiving is tough and rough.
All i ask from Buddha now, is to give me strength and wisdom to get through this stage.
I dont ask much.
I just need these two elements in my life.
The others, i will find a way to overcome it.

Can i have it?

*Promise no more emo post after this. This will be my last one.*

五杯酒，五份餐点，一副扑克牌

2011-08-17T22:01:00.002+08:00

有点隆重，但温馨的约会。
5个女生，初次在民歌餐厅/酒吧内度过一个晚上。

什么话题都聊，什么事情都尽情诉述。
只因我们知道时间只剩不多。
还有能有多少次像这样般地聚在一起。

五杯酒，五份餐点，一副扑克牌。
简单地，我们不理会旁人给的眼光。
我们就沉浸在我们的空间内。
不必担心任何话题，也不要害怕什么不雅语言。
只是很欢喜地做我们喜欢的事情。

能说我不想念她们吗？
应该说，不能去想念那晚很难吧~

姐妹们之间的感情到底是不是能长久。
我也不知道。
一切随缘吧~

暂时对我们而言，只要对方开心幸福，我们也会随着衷心地祝福。
姐妹们，你们是最棒的！

Sem5, here we go!

2011-08-15T16:47:00.007+08:00

Class starts today!

First class, Public and Media Relations, taught by Ms Su.

Well, class was alright, i guess.
At least i was enjoying the class.
Plus i finally had a peace of mind.
No need to pretend to be blind and deaf anymore.
No need to play mental games.

I just be myself.
Appreciate each moments with the bunch of crazy friends.
Feeling my life as a student.
Playing with time arrangement.
Do what an average college students will do.

This sem will ended on December.
Meantime, i constantly need to remind myself, i am a student and i have to fulfill my duties as one.
The others, i just let time and fate decide it.
After all, what is much more fun than living in the moment.

Come on, Sem5, please be nice to me.
And i make sure, me myself will love every moments.
=)

*Anyone wants to join the company? =)

坏坏惹人爱信乐团&戴爱玲

2011-08-13T21:48:00.003+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

妖妖娇娇走来走去
Everybody 被她勾的心难耐
她很可爱她很会ㄋㄞ
落在她的手里男人只好乖乖
他以为他帅人见人爱
姊姊妹妹为他心花朵朵盛开
他脾气坏他很GY
最后还能让你笑着说Bye Bye
(坏坏惹人爱) 爱就是你情我也愿
(坏坏惹人爱) 是鬼迷心窍想要的危险
(坏坏惹人爱) 哦再坏也是我的Baby
(坏坏惹人爱) 说穿了人到底是有点贱
妖妖娇娇走来走去
Everybody 被她勾的心难耐
她很可爱她很会ㄋㄞ
落在她的手里男人只好乖乖
他以为他帅人见人爱
姊姊妹妹为他心花朵朵盛开
他脾气坏他很GY
最后还能让你笑着说Bye Bye
(坏坏惹人爱) 爱就是你情我也愿
(坏坏惹人爱) 是鬼迷心窍想要的危险
(坏坏惹人爱) 哦再坏也是我的Baby
(坏坏惹人爱) 说穿了人到底是有点贱
谁说男人要多金
女人就要多情
太普通也很乏味
这世界男男女女
男女玩着爱情
他越坏她越想要爱
坏坏的偏偏会惹人爱
(坏坏惹人爱) 爱就是你情我也愿
(坏坏惹人爱) 是鬼迷心窍想要的危险
(坏坏惹人爱) 哦再坏也是我的Baby
(坏坏惹人爱) 说穿了人到底是有点贱
谁说男人要多金
女人就要多情
太普通也很乏味
这世界男男女女
男女玩着爱情
他越坏她越想要爱
坏坏的偏偏会惹人爱
(坏坏惹人爱) 明明知道爱不起
(坏坏惹人爱) 还是意乱情迷
(坏坏惹人爱) 心里只想抗拒
(坏坏惹人爱) 就是无法脱离
(坏坏惹人爱) 明明知道爱不起
(坏坏惹人爱) 还是意乱情迷
(坏坏惹人爱) 心里只想抗拒
(坏坏惹人爱) 就是无法脱离
*
终于都有机会可以好好坐下来了。
每天就早早起身上班，然后带着疲惫的身子回家。
回到家，就直接洗澡，上床在梦里与力宏宝贝约会了。

15号就是新学期了。
新学期的时间表，我也不能说什么。
反正都定局了。
不过还真的有人烦人。
全部的课都显着半天吊。
每天不是12点的课，再不然就是3点的课。
搞到我的做工时间都有点乱。
唉~
不过还是希望能在最短时间内，赶快把自己定下的目标给达到。

怎样都好，终于都有机会回到学校了。
可以和一班朋友疯癫上着课。
也希望这学期能对我们好点。
不要再把一切撞在一起。
很累人，也很伤精神的呢~
哈哈~
也希望新讲师能对我们好点。
相对的，我们也会对讲师很好很好的。
只要不要给我们太多功课，不要给我们太多presentation，不要是不是刁难我们。。。
哈哈~
*
已经一个多月了。
我还很好。也感觉比以前更开朗，更自由了。

我承认，我偶尔还是会想起他。
可是只要慢慢地，回忆回到那晚，我就立刻停止，然后告诉自己，我是坚强的。
只因我是李依琳。

其实，我还替他感到很抱歉。
就这样放走了一位对他那么好的女生。
哈哈~ 有够自恋。
不过，回头想想。
那两年来，我都成长了很多。
也知道这世上，什么样的人都有，不过分手的理由永远就那么一个。
从来都不会改变，也不会再变化了。

我一直都说那些是烂理由。
可是，当它们套在我身上时，我才发现，原来世上的男人都没有创意的。
永远就只有那句话。

还是算了。
我们女生本来就是该坚强独立的。
就算没有一个愿意照顾你一生，愿意疼你一生，愿意守护你一生的男人，我们的身边永远都有很多值得我们去爱和关怀的人。
无论是家人，朋友，甚至是陌生人，我们最重要是爱着自己。
这也是我这一个月以来，获收到的最大成果。

啊~
我还真的蛮会哈拉。
但，这是我整个月以来的感触。
我也不能说我完全断了那思念。
但至少没有比之前那么憎恨了吧~
现在，就剩下遗憾和祝福而已。

祝福他。
也祝福我自己。
希望我能活得比之前的我更快乐，更自由。
我还是我。
那个最爱做疯癫事情的我。
万岁！
xD

Smile =)

2011-08-07T21:58:00.003+08:00

Well, things are working out so far so good.
And i'm enjoying my life to the fullest.

So, its a choice between tears and smile.
I rather choose to be myself.
A crazy girl who will always be loved.

No matter how heavy the rain falls, how much dark clouds gather, i will still be myself.
It might be tough, i know i can make it through with courage and intelligence.

I will be who i always be.
And lets make that be a forever.

考完了！！！

2011-08-02T20:44:00.002+08:00

考完了！
我也很算是很成功地从战场退下来了。

两张试卷，加上一个Presentation，都足于把我们全部人搞到团团转。
不过，也辛苦大家了。
接下来的两个星期，也别忘了好好享受。

结伴游玩也好，待在家当宅女宅男也好，都别忘了自己的健康最重要。
很不希望开课第一天就听到坏消息了。

好的，不要讲到悲哀去。
我呢，假期两个星期，当然就要做工两个星期啦~
没办法啦~
要赚钱存钱，这样我去台湾的时候可以大买特买。
然后也要吃这个，吃那个。
当然要好好地体验台湾冬季的魅力。
我还去8天呢~
当然更加要好好享受了！
现在这样讲都很希望时间能快点过了。

那天考完最后一张试卷的时候，也和一大班朋友下kl吃唰唰锅。
我们到了在Lot10里面的Restoran Shabu One。
价钱还算可以啦~因为我们显示了我们的学生证，所以有优惠价。
食物方面，是有点差啦~不过当时我们只是要大伙聚在一起，还是一样吃的好像没有明天那样。
环境，有点失望。不知是布置得关系，还是就是整个场面，总之就是有点失望啦~

不过我们都没理会这些。
反而好像整间店都是我们似的。
不理会周围地大声说笑，没把隔壁桌放在眼里地尽情玩闹。
就这样一直从7点吃到9点。
不知不觉，时间就这样过了。
虽然回家的途程有点事情发生，不过大家都平安到家，那就好了。

我还是很希望我们能这样聚在一起。
不要理会旁人的眼光和言语，就尽情地做我们自己。
只要不要太超过，我们还是能有办法疯癫的。

最后，希望大家能好好享受这假期。
我们15号见啦~
<3

One more paper!

2011-07-29T16:27:00.002+08:00

Alright, lets see what have i done for the past whole week.

Ethics in PR - Done!

It was quite easy in a way.
I mean all the answers are out there if you really pay attention in class and on Ms Yen's notes.
Its been a while i was having fun writing.
Until my sore and i just realized how many pages i had done.
So, right now, pray for me.
=)

Field Production Techniques - Done!

Good job to everyone.
You guys were just damn awesome!
I dont know what to say and i feel so proud to be part of it.
Every single group had their own little creativity and you guys can transformed it with actors, camera angles, lightning, location, props, shots.
Everything that you can mention.
WE ROCK!!!

P License to L License - Done!

Didnt know it took me less than 10mintues to get it done.
That was fast and i kinda like it.
(Except this India guys, who smokes like theres no tomorrow, is sitting beside me. Gross and superb gross!)
I did it at Jalan Sultan.
Located behind of Amcorp Mall.
Maybe i can consider going there 3 years later.
=)

So that's all for this week.
I was having fun more than suffering from exam pressure.
I mean i can even watch Korean drama, a few movies, brought the monsters out for dinner, and even online for the whole day.
Or maybe i just know how to find a way out?
Well, either way, gotta start prepare for the final paper for this semester -- MORAL!!! >.<
*
I dont know how well i am doing right now.
But i know i've been laughing and smiling a lot. Sincerely.

Yes, there were few nights, he came in my dreams, and i woke up with tears on my cheeks.
But i just moved on and continue my journey to my goal.

I might be weak at some times and some times i just simply acting strong.
It's a way for me to protect myself.
And a way for me to lay rest some memories.

Just pray Buddha, i really need strength and courage at some point.
But at the end of day, you and i know, i will be stronger than anyone else.
All i had to do right now, is just smile and wave to my past.
I'm moving on and i can feel i'm getting nearer to my goal.

Wish Me Luck =)

考试加油！

2011-07-25T11:03:00.002+08:00

今天星期一。
第一张试卷在星期四。

等等！
星期四？！
这个星期四？！
然后今天是星期一？！

哦不~~~
我还没开始温习呢~
怎么会这样啊~~~
天啊~~~

我还很闲情地追了两天的韩剧和电影。
现在回头想想。
我之前有说过要开始温习的。
在Twitter和微博不停地提醒自己。
最后只要一想到剧情的发展，就开始投入在剧情里面了。
哈哈~
还说什么要开始温习呢~

不过今天真的要开始了。
不然我就可以早点见到佛陀了。

虽然我的父母没什么理会我的成绩或表现。
可是，难得我可以读到我有感兴趣的科目，而且过去的几年在中学表现也让人开始感到有点无奈了。
那就不要让这无奈感持续，我当然要拼了。

至少让我安心地考完，然后就可以安排我的行程在台湾了。
是吧？
我的安排也不错吧？
哈哈~

那就祝我考试愉快，也要加油了！
拼啦~~~
=)

I'm sorry...

2011-07-23T13:56:00.002+08:00

First of all, i'd like to apologize to my video production team mates.
I've been neglecting my responsibility as a student and team player.
And i went out and have fun, with you guys working so hard to make things done.
I'm truly truly very sorry.

Today at 12.30pm, i'm back as student and team player.
I'll bring my financial problems to the back of my head, and keep myself busy with the final stage.
I know i'm suck.
And yes, i deserve to be scold and curse at the same time.

I mean i've know it for a long time.
If i cant cope everything at the same time, i should start thinking of quitting my job.
But i left it, and thought i really can handle everything at once.

But it turn out the wrong way.
I left my team mates working so hard.
They dont have enough sleep, they have to think of a way to solve all the obstacles.
While, me, I, just keep thinking of earning money and having fun at the same time.
I totally forgot my responsibility.

I know i suck a lot time.
And i just deserve it...

起起落落

2011-07-21T20:44:00.003+08:00

人生果然是要起起落落的。

当时还是无知的我，就一直这么认为，我的人生就会这样度过的。
谁知，短短一个月内，发生了这么多事情。
我都一直在埋怨事情发生在错的时间点上。

我不知道这是不是天意。
或是佛陀认为我过得太开心了，所以要弄点东西，来让我觉得人生就是要这样的啊~

可是，习惯装坚强的我，总是在人们面前微笑。
殊不知，我心里流了多少泪水，叹了多少气。
我找不到任何人来述说，只好每天对着镜子练习微笑。
告诉自己，这一切只是过渡期，我只需要勇气和智慧，然后再一点好运。
谁知未来某日，我反而还得感谢这一切呢~

曾经想过要封闭我自己。
不要与外来接触。
只是多在角落头，细数时间的流逝。
可是我想到还有我家人和朋友们，我不忍心回到那角落头。
我必须要站出来，不可以让任何担心，也不能让任何看到我脆弱的一面。
我不知道是什么原因造就我这样的性格。
可是我就是知道，这就是我一直以来生存的方式。

我不敢保证，也不能担保这些事情何时才能顺利完成。
我也不能说我会一直这样下去。
不过我就是不会服输的。
我只需牺牲一些事情，努力赚钱，努力读书，不要让家人和朋友觉得我是累赘。
佛陀，您就给弟子一点时间吧~
我会努力的，也会继续加油的。

Rolling In The Deep by Adele

2011-07-18T21:00:00.002+08:00

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.

There’s a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, it’s bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go head and sell me out and I’ll lay your shit bare
See how I leave with every piece of you
Don’t underestimate the things that I will do
There’s a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, and it’s bring me out the dark
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love they leave me breathless
I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart and soul
And you played it
To the beat
Baby I have no story to be told
But I’ve heard one of you, and I’m gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Making a home down there, reminds you of the home we shared
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love they leave me breathless
I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart and soul
And you played it
To the beat
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart and soul
But you played it
With the beat
Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turned my sorrow into treasured gold
You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow
We could have had it all
We could have had it all
It all, it all it all,
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart and soul
And you played it
To the beat
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart and soul
But you played it,played it, played it
To the beat
*
Things are getting more heat up.
Everything clashed at the same time.
July aint being my friend since the beginning.
Everything got so wrong that i almost thought this will be my future life.

Yes, i lose and gain a lot.
But the pain and pressure seems to hate me more than ever.
They keep coming back whenever i let my guard down.
They keep attacking me whenever i try to relax and take a deep breath.

So much things and i still havent find a time to settle down.
I just keep myself busy and busy and busy.
I just wish i can reach one point and just break down.
So that i can have a chance to release my inner self first.
Then only i will pick up the pieces and move on.

I cant say if i am pretending to be strong or not.
But all i know, i choose to lock all those memories and keep it away.
Then i can focus on whatever i'm doing right now.
Still, problems keep finding me and they are haunting like hell.

I wont show my sadness and tears.
Instead the more stronger i want to be.
I wish i had a power to turn myself to steel whenever i want.
I just be unbeatable when someone is trying to trouble me at the wrong timing.

No, i'm not blaming anyone.
And i do not wish to gain any pity.
But i know i dont want to let the pain and pressure to grow in me.
I want to breath and i want to let myself free from all these.
You might change your perspective when the next time you see me.
Because i will be much more stronger and more independent than ever.

Just, for this meanwhile, just let me focus on whatever i'm holding.
Dont even try to ask me let go.

破产 =(

2011-07-13T20:52:00.002+08:00

我的天啊~
还没到月底，我就已经宣告破产了！
真是的！
明明上个月是赚最多的。
现在，月中都还没过，就已经。。。
T.T

唉~
大忙人就是这样的。
无意间就花了钱。
花了多少，花在哪里，花到有用处吗，都不知道。
唉~
看看我接下来的形成吧~

15/7 - 到Cheras继续拍短片
16/7 - Bon Odori!!!
17/7 - 到Cheras完成短片
18/7 - 一班朋友到酒吧（这个还没确定的）
25/7~1/8 - 考试周

还有还有，考试之前我还是有做工的。
所以说咯~
那个钱到底花在哪里了，我自己都不知道。
可是就是很怕靠近银行了。
打开钱包，看到那些卡，心中还是有点小震。
哈哈~

但是，很开心啦~
这么多节目，我也可以暂时把以往不开心的事情，都全留给时间来解决。
我还是会像以往那样继续疯癫的。
只是，可能这次，在心中还是觉得有点悔恨。
不过，既然事情已经发生了，也发现了问题的所在，这样的结局也许对双方都是好事。
*
突然发现，那件事以后，我的心里有了小小的阴影。

现在只要看到/听到一对情侣/夫妻，意见不合，或甚至有一方告诉我，他需要让另一方冷静下来。
我的脑海就会开始浮现我的样子。
我的心会开始由担心转移到害怕。

我会担心他们的关系。
然后会害怕他们最后会跟我一样。
一样的结局，也许也是一样的理由。
然后我就开始幻想自己以后的样子。
是否也是每次只要意见不合，或者一方不断地迁就，我们就会开始分裂了。

我当然会怕啊~
或许我还真的需要时间来治疗自己。
告诉自己，其实这只是过渡期，因为我还是不能轻易放下两年的感情。
未来，一定有某人能帮我忘掉这一切，好好弥补我的阴影。
这样的人，也许还真的要等一段时间。

现在的我，就要学会珍惜身边的人。
感谢他们的爱和支持，我才能坚强起来。
也因为他们，我才知道，有些人遇到了，能在一起，就该感到欣慰了。
=)

5/7/2011 12am

2011-07-11T20:55:00.003+08:00

One phone call, 30 minutes talk.
I'm back being single again.

2 years of relationship, and because of some reason, we decided to break up.
It's very heartache, and i thought i almost died.
Everything was very sudden.
Just like how he did to me before.

Maybe i experienced it before, this time i recover in the fastest time.

I thought i can cry, but after that few tears over the phone, i cant cry at all.
But my chest suffered a lot.
I felt suffocated a lot of times, and i dont feel like eating at all.
Still, most of the time, i force myself to smile and eat, so that people wont worried about me.
Yes, i did it in the end.
I smiled and laughed much more.

After cooling down, thinking all the way back, i'm cool now.
Many loved ones gave me a lot of words of wisdom.
And i've been a lot of thinking.
I just learn one thing, there's no one to blame between us.
Both of us change and grown up.
No longer we are on the same path, though we tried to.
And now, we found out, i guess its better to let go than hurting both side.

Yes, i did cursed and mad about him.
But after this one whole week of cool down, and even getaway to Kuantan, i realized i should save those anger and transit to another things.
I should be more focus on my studies, on my family and friends, on my financial problems, on my own leisure and entertainment.
I might even found another better man than him. Haha~ xD

Well, still, i'm glad that we been together for 2 years.
Of course, there's a lot of appreciation in it.
I just hope there'll be no other girls to hear those words.
Or even to cry for those words.
Those words are from someone irresponsible and coward.
Yet, its our choice and we had to live with it.

In a nutshell, i'm gonna stay strong and be more focus in my life.
I'll live and love much more stronger than now and before.
Wish me luck =)

7月

2011-07-02T17:53:00.003+08:00

七月了。
好快哦~
2011年，就这样，过了一大半。
如果2012年的预言真的准的话，那我们还有大概1年5个月的时间而已。
1年5个月，如果有小孩的话，小孩子刚刚学会说话，开始学会探索这个世界。
不过，算了啦，怎样都好，我们还是得每天都珍惜当下吧~

要好好说6月。
整体来说，我不是过的很好。
尤其最后那几天。

因为拉不下面子，频频与人有摩擦。
泪水和脾气，从来没有一天没有它们的陪伴。
后来，是在某个时间点，才发现自己有这样的缺点。
开始说服自己，要首先学会撕破自己的面子，然后不管好坏都要学会接受别人的批评。
因为到头来他们都是为了你好。
要你学会改变，要你看清楚你自己看不到的缺点。

6月，我也学会道歉了。
道歉当然是每个人都会。
可是这次不一样。
我学会道歉的真真的意义了。
道歉后，本应就是该忘掉且原谅每个人。
而不是只是随便一句对不起就能挽救整个局面了。
那么，如果是那样，警察局和法律要来干嘛？

不过，这整个过程还需要更细心地调整。
有时我还是会犯一样的错误。
但也请你一定不可以跟我人来疯。
你一定要跟我硬撞到底。
不可以转头就任由我的笨蛋脑袋控制我。
跟我对撞，然后大声地告诉我，我就是做错了。

要说这些，还真的需要很大的勇气。
因为这就等于把我的弱点告诉了全世界。
届时也可能有人利用它来与我宣战。
不过，为了自己的好，也省得泪水带来的误解，我还是选择说了出来。

7月，请你一定要对我好点。
泪水和脾气就暂时收起来。
不要让它们害得我的人际关系变差，我们之间的信任开始消失，我们曾经的承诺开始成为谎言。
就把它们封锁起来。
就让我以正面力量来对抗我的生活中的大大小小。
我已经累了。
我不想再浪费力气了。
也不想要让更多的人对我产生误解。

就对我好点。
我也可以喘口气，可以随心所欲地微笑和爱。

Cry

2011-06-30T21:05:00.002+08:00

This few days been busy with FPT's final video.
So far, i guess, everything is still keep on track.
Nothing goes wrong and i hope it will never.

Oh ya, our Writing for Different Media class had been replaced by Mr Cyrus, which he is a bit boring.
I wasnt really concentrating in his class.
I was either daydreaming or discussing the final video with Nikki and Crystal.
But it was a relief that the class doesnt require exam papers.
Or else, i'll cry till death.
Haha~

Well, still the same old routine, with a bit twist.
But it doesnt make any difference in my life.
And i still living it with pleasure.
I might complain about one thing or two, but i still want to live it to the fullest.
Whatever it is, luck and health, please be with us until this video ends.
=)
*
Chat and webcam with him recently.
Of course i'm thrilled with it.
I mean after that incident happened, he had to gone through finals and i was busying with all my assignments, and we dont really have the time to chat nicely.
But now, within one week, we can webcam twice, thats very sweet.

Yesterday, he pinpointed something.
Something that almost crushed myself.
I mean, i always tried to be the one he wants me to be, and i got lost.
So, i set up a journey, to find myself back.
Already at the start of the journey, i should be prepared for everything and anything.
But why when those words came out from his mouth, i can heard a crack in my heart?

Yes, he is right in a way.
I was always the passive one.
I never dare to take the next step, until he does so.
Little do i know, this had made him a burden, and he scared he will lose faith in me.
Thus, i kept silence and hold my tears.

I wanted to cry because i know who i was, but i was denying it all the time.
Until he pinpointed out and it was someone is exposing your weakness.
The other reason is, i get to know how worst i was.
I never thought of this.
Surely i know my problem, but i dont know how to solve it.

Then again, my cousin's word rang my mind.

"All these times, whenever you guys having a fight, you always said you are the one that should be blame."

Is it? I dont know.
Is it really that i always take the blame?
If it is, how badly have i gotten?
I feel like crying again...

He might be right.
We are no longer in that "puppy love" state.
Its been 2 years and we are starting to get used of each other.
Finally we are looking at each other weaknesses and bad behaviors.
But we need to find a way to make one another accept who we are and sometimes you cant change a person's perspective.
I cant tell what it will be.
But please Buddha, we need strength and wisdom to guide us.
No matter what will happen, at least we were once deeply in love and always wish the best for each other...

磨合期

2011-06-28T22:56:00.002+08:00

最近都很迟才放工。
星期六那天就差不多9点；今天则8点多。

有好有坏咯~

好处：我可以赚多钱。算是弥补上个月一直请假。也可以尽快存到我的目标。
坏处：好累噢~有时会到家还有烦功课的问题。而且回来都夜了，上网时间也自然减少了。

不过，我都没什么好埋怨的。
因为这就是我啦~
有工作，有赚钱的机会，何不赶紧抓住机会呢？
趁现在有体力和耐力，就赶快赚钱存钱。
这样以后就不必这么担心的。
哈哈~
好天真哦~

但没关系啦~
就当时自我安慰好了。
有了这样的想法，也不会感到累了。
=)
*
我们昨天又闹不合了。
其实是我的错啦~
脾气突然说来就来，连我都措手不及，爆发在他身上。

我后来有道歉了。
也想到我们之前的约定：就算要冷战，都不可以超过24小时。

唉~
我还说，今年不是很好的年份。
很多事情发生，我们也好像一直紧绷的状态。
一点点小动作，就容易惹到对方。

但这也可能是我们在磨合期。
我们清楚知道彼此了，是时候要学习如何相处了。
所以这段磨合期会有点苦，可是我相信我们是可以渡过的。
未来的事，的确很难去猜测。
可是我都保持着，把握和珍惜当下，不要让对方都失去彼此。
这样，在这阶段，就满足了。

亲爱的，今天也很想你。

Nothing Much

2011-06-26T12:57:00.002+08:00

This whole week is just a bit more relax.
Even the class were nothing much to talk about.
I even grab the chance to leave early.
Of course i told the lecturer i had to work.

FPT's lecturer had choose the topic for us.
We are going to do romance.
Well, the story...
Nah~ i wont reveal it until we finalize everything.

But am getting excited and nervous at the same time.
I mean, can we do our best? Or will we be able to breakthrough?
Am trying my very best to catch up.
To be honest, i'm more nervous.
But i know this is the stress alert.
For now, mojo and inspiration, please stay with me until everything ends.

Still, there's nothing much special i can rant about.
Guess i'll just stick on my drama instead.
To learn all the techniques that required for the final project.

I love you <3

Oh! 少女时代

2011-06-24T21:07:00.002+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

전에 알던 내가 아냐 Brand new sound
(Talk> 'I like the way you smile, like the way you talk,
새로워진 나와 함께 One more round
Dance Dance Dance till we run this town
whenever you're ready, wanna be.... something new, oh!')
오빠 오빠 I'll be I'll be down down down down

Hey 오빠 나 좀 봐 나를 좀 바라봐
(처음이야 이런 내 말투 ha!)
머리도 하고 화장도 했는데
(왜 너만 너만 모르니)

두근 두근 가슴이 떨려와요
자꾸 자꾸 상상만 하는걸요
어떻게 하나 콧대 높던
내가 말하고 싶어

Oh! Oh! Oh! 오빠를 사랑해
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 많이 많이 해
수줍으니 제발 웃지마요
진심이니 놀리지도 말아요
또 바보 같은 말뿐야 Oh~

전에 알던 내가 아냐 Brand new sound
새로워진 나와 함께 One more round
Dance Dance Dance till we run this town
오빠 오빠 I'll be I'll be down down down down

오빠 잠깐만 잠깐만 들어봐
(자꾸 딴 얘기는 말고)
동생으로만 생각하진 말아
(1년 뒤면 후회할 걸)

轉載來自 ※Mojim.com　魔鏡歌詞網
몰라 몰라 내 맘을 전혀 몰라
눈치 없게 장난만 치는걸요
어떻게 하나 이 철없는 사람아 들어봐 정말

Oh! Oh! Oh! 오빠를 사랑해
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 많이 많이 해
수줍으니 제발 웃지마요
진심이니 놀리지도 말아요
또 그러면 나 울지도 몰라 Oh~

전에 알던 내가 아냐 Brand new sound
뭔가 다른 오늘만은 뜨거운 마음
다음 다음 미루지 마 화만 나
오빠 오빠 이대로는 No! No! No! No!

Tell me, boy, boy. Love it?
it, it, it, it, it, it, Ah!

Oh! Oh! Oh! 오빠를 사랑해
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 많이 많이 해
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 오빠를 사랑해
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 많이 많이 해
또 바보 같은 말뿐야 Oh~

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 오빠를 사랑해
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 많이 많이 해
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 오빠를 사랑해
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 많이 많이 Oh
*
唉~
本来明天要去关丹的。
以为可以投进海风的怀抱，把脚丫埋进沙子里，聆听大海的声音。
也可以看到我最爱的人们。

可是。。。可是。。。
昨晚的一封简讯，就把这一切拉到原点了。
我只能靠想象而已。
唉~

也不能怪啦~
其实我在无形中已经做好心理准备了。
原因就不方便在这里说。
所以我并没有太大的失落感。
只是会一直想要念。
人家万分期待的嘛~
唉~

明天就照旧上班咯~
往好的方面想，我可以赚多钱。
毕竟我已经打算在台湾买东西了。
可以的话，要增加一样东西在清单里面：牛仔裤。
我的牛仔裤裂了。哈哈~
所以，要加油了哦~
*
因为他现在放假了，也“暂时”不用烦做工的事情，有机会能与他聊天了。

当然开心啦~
我之前还有点小小抱怨。
抱怨我干吗要这样忙碌呢~
不过还是让我们有机会能好好聊天了。

什么大小事情也聊。
功课上的问题，工作上的问题，甚至平常芝麻绿豆也聊起来了。
还好，我们还是那样子。
而我自己本身，他就好像魔术师那样。
只要他一出现，或者只要听到他的声音，我的烦恼和压力都在那瞬间消失了。
我可以暂时什么都不要想。
就专心与他聊天就好了。

亲爱的，放假3个月，要好好规划哦~
还有，别忘了帮我订民宿啊~
还有还有，我们的行程，也要开始规划了。
我在这边都很好。
虽然是被功课搞到有点不像人形了。
不过我还是很好。
我也会加油的！

亲爱的，我好想你哦~
<3

Relax and breathe

2011-06-22T20:42:00.005+08:00

So far, college and assignments are literary killing us.
Most of the deadlines are crashed and we sometimes do get confused.

But i guess so far, for the Field Production Techniques, we pitched our ideas and i'm waiting for the answer.
EPR, hope tomorrow's presentation will go on as plan.
No surprises like what happened to Moral class please.

I guess i can breath and relax for a while.
If not, i'm still going to beach anyway!
Muahahaha~
Yes, its confirmed i'm going to Kuantan this weekend.
Well, the main purpose is to visit my cousin and an old nice colleague.
Gosh~ I am starting to miss them now.
So, wish me luck and i'm going to get some sun tan. (I hope so.)
*
Yesterday, during Writing for Different Media class, Sharaad played a movie.
"Good Times, Wonderful Times"I wont say much about the movies.
Its all mostly about wars and how two different life can happened in our mother earth.

The storyline was not bad, though there are many disturbing pictures.
Basically, they showed most of the war time pictures.
From World War 1 to Hitler, then to the Hunger Camp.
I still remember i had to closed my eyes because they make me feel like vomiting.
Then, i started to question myself sub-consciously.

Why does all this had to happened?
What's wrong of being a human in the world?
All this are right life story, but why do we choose to neglect it?
Why does life seems like a piece of shit in an soldier's eyes?
What makes them feel so powerful enough to decide a man's life?
Many more...

I cant seem to find the answer.
Or rather, its too deep to find it.
But i cant stop my mind from not thinking of it.
I almost cried when i was driving alone.
Because i am so lucky enough to avoid all these disaster.
But on the other side of the world, the people are not.
They are living in hell.
But what does fate had done to them?

And when the movie shows pictures of people crying over a dead body, i cant stop thinking what if that was my loved one?
How am i supposed to live on without them?
In addition, there's a handful of cruel and merciless soldier, who they think they are so powerful.

I have to say, this movie gave me the strongest punch i ever felt.
My mind keep repeating the images; i keep questioning myself; my heart ache for the trillion times.
Let's just say, i'm not the one for being a journalist.
But from now, i learn to forgive and forget.
I learn to appreciate.
I learn to love.
I learn to be more patience.

And all my prayers are specially dedicated for those who are least fortunate than me...
*

唉~

2011-06-20T20:50:00.003+08:00

突然发现这个学期，虽然外表看起来很轻松，可是却处处感到压力！

这个死脑筋又不知道多少次差点闹出人命来。
每次都在危急关头突然当机。
然后一直想要逃避这一切。
真的好笨哦~

也不知道是不是压力造成，最近很厉害喝酒，也很厉害飘脏话。
一点点小小事情，脏话就不小心从嘴里跳出来。
甚至还可以带点情绪那种。

唉~
最近每个讲师都一直在强调距离考试时间还有一个月的时间而已。
所以要开始帮我们做复习。
也要我们做好准备迎战。
唉~
仿佛回到以前spm的时期。
大家都不停地在倒数。

现在很多功课的提交日期都很接近。
有时还会搞乱，究竟是哪份功课要交先，还是哪份功课要给讲师过目先。
真的很乱，也觉得有点烦了。

一个月啊~
一个月后，是不是真的可以轻松一点？
说真的，我有种预感，不会！
因为我更加要加紧努力赚钱，更加加紧努力想要自己的未来了。
不能在依靠父母，也不能一直依靠命运的安排了。
是时候该长大了，是时候要下决定，要坚定自己的立场了。

唉~
李依琳，加油哦！不要再被压力控制你的脑袋了。是时候要反驳了！
加油！
*
今年的金曲奖真的有点失望啦~

第一，马英九总统也会出席？唉~搞到整个典礼都好收敛哦~有点不习惯看到吴宗宪这么僵硬。
第二，可能没什么大牌出席（除了周杰伦之外），都感觉好像在看小学生的典礼。
第三，颁奖人的互动好像怪怪的。也许真的是大家都没什么能擦出火花，有点闷了。
第四，今年的服装大家都有点保守哦~没什么好看头的。就算有，都有点过头了。
第五，王力宏全军覆没！不~~~~

不过，人要有体育精神。输了也不可以这么幼稚。
所以在这边还是要恭喜周杰伦和莫文蔚。
尤其莫文蔚，谢谢你的好消息，也衷心祝福你哦~
可是我们还是很享受整段典礼。
我们都好像在看球赛似的。
又喊又唉声叹气的。
不知道隔壁邻居会不会因为我们而难入眠？
怎样都好，颁奖典礼都过了。大家回到各自的生活，精心准备为明年奋斗。

最后小小的留言，王力宏，你还是最棒的那个！我们永远都会爱着你的！加油！
*
我们自从那天以后，都很少机会能好好聊天了。
也是啦~
当时他忙着考试，我也不敢打扰。
而他现在考完了，却轮到我与压力对抗着。
大家都忙着各自的东西。

就算有时间能好好聊天，都会不时被打断。
那就有点干脆不要聊天好了。
唉~

偷偷告诉你，我甚至还有点忘了我们是否和好了。
可能直到被朋友随口问起，才发现我们是真的还在一起的。
哈哈~
我是不是很衰样叻？
这样的女朋友都有。
还亏我当初说要找回我自己。
哈哈哈~
xP

不过啊，偶尔有时躺在床上，或者一个人驾车时，他还是会出现在我脑海里。
可能只是闪过一秒，不过都顿时让我心情没那么紧绷了。

而且啊，我也发现那天之后，我的确换了一个角度来看我们的这段感情。

以前我总是想，“要是你在我身边陪我做这个做那个，多好！”
可是现在却是，“没关系，我自己一个人先体验。等你回来了，我再带你玩。”

所以啊，我知道我更加自由，更加努力独立着。
最重要，我更加知道我还是那个我，那个爱玩，爱疯癫的我。

亲爱的，别伤心别难过哦~
不是不想你了。
只是我不能一直有这样的角度。
因为我发现这更加让我对你没有安全感。
我会一直觉得我好孤单，是你把我孤零零一个人放任着。
那我必须找个出口，不能再这么想了。
换了角度和思考思维，我变得快乐很多了。也更期待你的归来了。
亲爱的，我还是很想你，也还是很希望时间能快点过。
哦~对了，现在6月了，我们在一起也有两年了。
我们好像都不知道我们真正在一起的日期。
不过没关系啦~
还是要说，两周年快乐！

Today is the day =)

2011-06-18T16:31:00.003+08:00

Today is the day!
Muahahaha~
Every year i'll be sitting in front of the tv and waiting for the grand prize to be announced.

It's none other than the "Golden Melody Award", which held every year, and this year is the 22nd!
Woohoo~
Ok, basically this is a Taiwan award and everyone in the industry is keen to get this award.
Though there a lots of spell and rumors are spreading, still it doesnt break my heart to watch it.
Especially this year, LeeHom is in the running list for "Best Male Singer".
Oh dear, i'm praying so hard now.
xD

Anyway, the award ceremony starts from 5.30pm for the red carpet, and 7pm for the ceremony.
I've ready my blanket and scream.
Dear Buddha, please let my LeeHom had a chance to win again!
xD
*
Buddha, Field Production Field's assignment is killing my brain cells.
This time, for our final project, we had to produce a 5mintues videos.
Using the six genres: Action, Romance, Horror/Thriller, Musical, Drama, Comedy.
Before that, we had to pitch each one genre with one idea.
Then after confirm by lecturer, we can only start with the production stage.

We are facing a crisis now.
We cant seem to settle with one idea for one genre.
Sometimes too many ideas for one genre, or else we will gone lost with it.

Right now, i just need a story.
Either it's a creation, or a true based story.
But either we had to find a reference for it.
And that also it's one of the crisis.

Damn, but i gotta say, i kinda enjoy it.
Might be i'm quite interested with it.
Or maybe this is new for me.

But either way, i still need an idea or story!
>.<
*

原来已经星期四了

2011-06-16T21:07:00.003+08:00

好快哦~
今天已经星期四了。
可是感觉，我整个星期都好像没什么动到东西。
就是很列常地过日子。
暂时还没有什么刺激且过瘾的事情发生。

功课还是一样。
但开始有点挑战性了。
讲师也开始要我们准备考试了。
然后还有几个很重要的报告呈现，也要我们开始注意了。

就是这样咯~
都没什么变到。
要硬挤一个的话，就是一直在动脑筋来写剧本。
写剧本果然不是一件很容易的事情。
第一个想象力就很丰富了。
还要在脑海自己排场，自己设计对白。
然后还有看看自己的演员是否能演到位。
如果不能，还要重新写过。总之，有些场景，到最后都不是跟着剧本走了。

就这样吧~
都没什么好说的。

对了，超期待这个星期的金曲奖。
希望我的王力宏真的能得奖啦~
哈哈~
*祈祷-ing*
*
但如果我偶尔能像照片里的主角。
坐在一个角落，一整天吹泡泡就好。
什么都不用烦，样样都不用那么计较，也不会常常让自己觉得心痛。

那样就好。
生活偶尔来点这样的动作，不知多么令人羡慕。

但我知道这是不可能的。
就算有时间给你坐下来，你都宁愿拿个时间来补眠。
可能还会破口大骂说，干吗要浪费这样美国时间？

是啊~ 我就是这么想浪费。就是这么希望只要有一天就好。一天就好，不要让我为了生活大大小小的事情包围着。就是那一天，我想干嘛就干嘛。然后由我来主宰时间。由我来把世界之门给关上，独自把自己封锁在那角落就好了。不要去理会时间的流逝。也不要理会在门的另一方，是否有人在等着我。或者，也让我暂时忘了，自己到底在奋斗什么。

我就是要这么一天就好。。。
*
老实说，我其实有点小小开心当他说他要参加自强活动。
因为这三天的时间就任由我怎样疯狂。
我可以暂时不把他放在脑海里，尽情地玩闹。
一直到他问我是否想念他时，我才发现，其实我根本从来就没有要刻意去想念他。就只是放在心里面。有时感到无力时，就把他拿出来，当作安慰自己也好，催眠自己也好。可是过后都觉得那强大的力量回来了。

不，我根本没有在夸大或什么的。
这是真的。
我也敢发誓。

也许，我还是很依赖他。当然我要学会独立了。可能过程会痛苦点，可是我会度过的吧~

怎样都好，亲爱的，我当然很想你啦~
<3

Numb

2011-06-14T21:06:00.002+08:00

Class cancelled today.
Being informed in a very very last minute situation.
How come?
I was almost reaching college, just right outside the traffic light.
Then a phone call announced class cancelled.

So, i scolded bad words and plan head to work early.
Yes, i did.
And thats actually a nice thing.
Because i got to earn extra income.
Ngehehehe~

At work, nothing unusual...
Oh wait, there's a lot of news.
But its all not convenience to talk right here.
All i could say is, things will going to be very busy for the next following months.

I'll balance my time for work and studies.
Let's just hope that my health and luck will accompany me through all these hard times.
=)
*
Told him what happened and i know he's upset about it.
I somehow can feel that he's scolding a lot of bad words there.

Gosh~
How can i be so careless?
It might be i was too rush or impatient.
And it's all my fault.
Haiz~
There goes another mistake i've made.

And then today, there's a sudden rush of insecurity rush in my mind.
I mean i had so many thoughts and image in my mind.
I was really panicked and i almost burst to tears.
I was like rehearsing the whole agenda, even though i know it's only my stupid mind again.
But i really dont like this feelings.

Geez~
I sometimes really do hate this distance.
At least not this far.
Where i cant find him whenever i need him.
Where when i reach my hands, he's not there to grab it.
Where i couldnt share everything first handed to him.

Everyone thought we are used to it.
But have i tell you, i am still adjusting myself?

Because i already used to tell him everything before he left.
Because he was the reason that make me smile before he left.
Because i know he'll always be there before he left.
Because i can control and protect myself before he left.

He's almost coming back and i'm glad for that.
I dont know whether if i'm numb or not.
But sometimes, i choose to hide my tears and fake a smile, and tell myself, i'm stronger than i look. I'll be fine without him. And i shall guard this relationships no matter what happen.
Tell me, i have the courage to go on and stay strong.
And until the day he comes back...

爽！

2011-06-12T12:49:00.002+08:00

连续两天都独自一人在家。
那种感觉，不知道该怎样形容。
不过只要到了晚上，只有一个字：爽！

仿佛整间家就是我的。
我想干吗就干吗。
没人限制我，也没人指示我。

连续两夜都在客厅睡了。
都是看戏看到一半就睡着了。
半夜上厕所，才发现没有关电脑和电视。
哈哈~
关上了以后，就继续把自己包进睡袋里面，继续与周公约会。

两天，都是自己解决三餐。
偶尔早上起来的时候，还烦恼晚餐要吃什么好。
不过还会都解决了。
也吃得饱饱的。
连Teddy都跟我一起分享。

两天独自在家，当然还是会觉得好像少了什么似的。
尤其更希望有人在身边陪我看戏也好，在客厅睡也好。
不过，想想回去，我爱上了这种感觉。
=)
*
总觉得，这整个星期都是在疯癫的状态下度过的。
怪不得人人常说，年轻就是本钱。
因为这样的疯癫下，虽然很累人，但不会觉得很烦恼。
反而想一直这样的度过。

也许这算是补偿。
或是我想要试试跳出我的安全地带，尝试别的生活，也不一定。
可是我就是经历了，也觉得还蛮不错的。

小女20都不到，可是还是觉得不够。
我还想尝试另外一种生活方式。
可能比现在更刺激，更极端也说不定。
还有还有，人生短暂嘛，当然要好好地玩闹一番。
固然基本的生活条件还必须遵守，可是在那之后，我可以继续体验另一种方式。

我不敢说我是冒险家，或是什么玩玩女。
我只是想要替自己的人生感觉不一样而已。
趁我还有呼吸和想法，赶快玩闹一番，打拼一番。
累是会累啦~
但，等到某一天你行动不便时，回想曾经做过的事，你不会觉得遗憾或后悔吧~

年轻真好！

*
他考完试了哦~
现在放假了。
真好！
哈哈哈~

不过我交了任务给他，希望他有去行动啦~
哈哈~
而我这边，有个不是很好的消息。
我也不知道该怎样开口。
在那之前，我正在想办法解决。
至于是什么，看以后有没有机会在这边讲出来。
不过暂时，在我还没找到解决方案，我是不会说的。

亲爱的，考完试了就好好休息。
偶尔放松，约一班朋友到处玩玩。
也许途中发现什么好玩的，就不要忘了一定要带我去。
哈哈~
我好想你哦~

ET by Katy Perry feat Kanye West

2011-06-09T20:32:00.002+08:00

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.

K[Kanye West]
I got a dirty mind
I got filthy ways
I'm tryna Bath my Ape in your Milky Way
I'm a legend, I'm irreverent
I be reverand
I be so fa-a-ar up, we don't give a f-f-f-f-ck
Welcome to the danger zone
Step into the fantasy
You are not invited to the otherside of sanity
They calling me an alien
A big headed astronaut
Maybe it's because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot

[Katy Perry]
You're so hypnotizing
Could you be the devil
Could you be an angel

Your touch magnetizing
Feels like I am floating
Leaves my body glowing

They say be afraid
You're not like the others
Futuristic lover
Different DNA
They don't understand you

Your from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison

Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction
http://www.elyricsworld.com/e.t_(feat_kanye_west)_lyrics_katy_perry.html

Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

Your so supersonic
Wanna feel your powers
Stun me with your lasers
Your kiss is cosmic
Every move is magic

Your from a whole other world
A different dimension
You open my eyes
And I'm ready to go
Lead me into the light

Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison

Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction

Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

[Kanye West]
I know a bar out in Mars
Where they driving spaceships instead of cars
Cop a Prada spacesuit about the stars
Getting stupid ass straight out the jar
Pockets on Shrek, Rockets on deck
Tell me what's next, alien sex
I'ma disrobe you, than I'mma probe you
See I abducted you, so I tell ya what to do
I tell ya what to do, what to do, what to do

[Katy Perry]
Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me
Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison

Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction

Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial

Extraterrestrial
Extraterrestrial

Boy, you're an alien
Your touch so foreign
It's supernatural
Extraterrestrial
*
I guess so far nothing special happened.
Same old routine plus same old me.

There might be happy and sad news among the days.
But i'm not going to specify it.
No other reason.
They are just nothing special about it.

Plus, same old questions haunting me.
I know, if i'm listing it out here, you people might ask me to shut up.
Because i've been saying it for godsake-dont-know how many times.
Therefore, i choose not to speak it out.

Just living my life, surrounded with the people i loved so dearly.
Am trying not to always think about negative sides.
Turn another side, its another point of view.
Thats my task for now.

Oh ya, am planning to get a tattoo.
I am thinking about words.
But i dont know what word(s) are suitable for me.
I listed out once, but my mum tease i'm old fashioned.
What the heck?
Still, i wanna get a word tattoo.
If possible, just a single chinese character.

So, ya, nothing much about life recently.
Am i too obedient, or not enough adventurous?
Either one, i loved my life, i loved myself, i loved my loves one.
<3

我是天才 =P

2011-06-07T20:19:00.002+08:00

别人放假就真的很轻松，而我忙着赚钱。
别人开课开始专心上课，而我还是在假期心情，根本没有收拾心情。

开课两天了。
可是我还是无法“正常”上课。
时不时会神游一会儿。
不然就是到处捣蛋，玩闹坐在我隔壁的朋友。
再不然就是私底下计划等下时间要出那儿溜达。
哈哈~

没办法啦~
人家都没有时间享受假期的乐趣。
就只好趁山上课的那短短几个小时满足自己。

放心啦~
我还是有听课的。
不要问我是如何办到，不过我就是有办法听到。
讲师偶尔点到我回答，我都能答出来。
也许是讲师每次问到我，都是要我的意见，那我就胡乱搞怪的说一通，再配合一下讲师，安全过关！
哈哈哈哈哈~
我应该是天才吧~
哈哈哈~

不过呢，这样的态度是慢慢会消失的。
因为功课现在慢慢推上来了。
而且现在已经算是下半学期了，也就是说要靠近期末考了，怎样都好都要强逼自己听课了。

我还是行的啦~
大家就不要担心我啊~
xD
*

“他们一定会天长地久。”6号美女突然说。
“这又是你的莫名其妙预感？”我很疑惑。
“不。”6号美女摇摇头。“这不是预感，这是有根据的。”
“什么根据？”
“两人手牵着手，从背后看，两双手臂形成V字，也像打了个勾。”
6号美女遥指小倩和赖德仁的背影，“所以是对的，会天长地久。”

“那什么是错的？”我问。
“如果两个人互搂着对方的腰，那么从背后看，两双手臂便形成X字，也像打了个叉。”6号美女说，“那就是错的，早晚会分手。”
“这。。。”我长大嘴巴，不知道该说什么。
“坦白告诉你，我小时候也是会莫名其妙害怕锅子的那种小孩。”
6号美女笑了笑，“所以也请你多包涵。”

--鲸鱼女孩。池塘男孩-- 蔡智恒

Beginning of the Month

2011-06-05T12:18:00.002+08:00

I'm back!
Went to Bukit Tinggi with ze family.
It's like almost 5 or 6 years since the last time we visit there.

Well, there's really nothing much to say about.
Because, no offense, but in Malaysia tourism, you can only visit during the first year.
As time goes by, all the constructions and facilities are no longer that beautiful anymore.
That is also one of the reason i'm not posting any pictures here.
Just in case i spoiled the image.
Still, it's not a pain to visit once.
=)

But it was quite refreshing to breath another kind of air up there.
I dont know whether its polluted or not.
At least they smell nicer than the busy hustle city.
Plus there's a lot of green trees and bushed around, good for eyesight.
And its on a hill, there's some places you have to climb the hill, good for exercise too.
(Which my calf is suffering muscle pain now. >.<|||)

Still, a small tiny advice, after the whole trip and observation, just a small tiny advice.
Dont ever wear heals or short mini skirt to these place.
Because your legs will suffer and you cant enjoy the whole view from the hill.
So, wear flats and casual wearing.
No need to put heavy makeup, as there's a lot of clown in the French Village.
^.^
*
Yes, i'm sick again.
This is the second time.
And its just only the beginning of the month!
Buddha~

This time, i highly suspect i got the virus from the office.
Because everyone was sick.
Some of them even have to apply for MC.
Me, working in the same room with them, tell me, whats my chances of not getting it?

This time is so tormenting.
My nose and eyes are so killing me.

I cant breath easily.
I keep making funny noise.
I feel like sneezing all the time, but i cant sneeze.
My eyes are looking like zombies.
My eyebags are dark in color and they really look like bags under my eyes.
Plus, i cant feel my eyes are open all the time. I feel sleepy.

So, yes, its only the beginning of the month and here i'm suffering.
Buddha, why cant you treat me any nicer?
*
A lot of people are asking me, how are us now?
Especially those who knows the full story.

To be exact, i didnt really tell the story till the end.
We both are back together.
This time with more understanding and appreciation.
We both know that, this is part of the journey and we have to overcome it.
At that point, yes, we almost gone through a breakup.
Even i strongly dont have the confident of seeing us in the future.
I doubt our relationship.

After that talk, we came to an agreement, saying its best that we both be single.
This time, he will no let me go.
Instead he will use this period of time to build back the confident for both of us.
In another word, we will start everything all over again.
From fancy, to confess, to being together.
We didnt have that confess moment before.
We went straight to being in relationship. Twice.

Then after a period of time, we thought it will be nice if we will be together again.
Thats when he ask me again the question.
With more consideration and a little bit of faith, i say yes.

Thats why i havent got the chance to take off my ring.
Thats why i havent got the chance to change my desktop wallpaper.
Thats why i havent got the chance to change my relationship status on Facebook.
Thats why i havent got the chance to explain everything yet.

Right now, in the moment, i dont wish for anything.
But i only want myself to be more rational and always find a way to solve crisis.
No more dodging, as the problem still exist.
Maybe sometimes i really need a meditation class...

犯贱还是没有脑

2011-06-01T20:40:00.003+08:00

今天就是特地请假，到Eunice家讨论功课。
我们就是讨论Moral的戏剧。

前后发生了很多爆笑事件。
例如我们发现Eunice很有Potential扮演暴力女生。
尤其是那种动作表情看起来很温柔。
可是下一秒，玩游戏输了，就可以开始爆粗起来。
Eunice演到很传神哦~

我就展示了我的另一面。
写些黄色事情。然后还是超笑话那种。
她们看了，也一直直说要我扮演这角色。
但后来发现不大对劲，就临时改了主意，要我扮演一个在网路购买的女生。

我们也知道Nikki是没有Sperm的。
哈哈~
废话，Nikki本来就没有啦~
如果有的话，还得了。
不过我们也提醒Nikki不可以一直这么爱吃薄荷，不然真的会把精子给杀光。

超多爆笑的。
但我们还是最后有完成我们原本该做的事情。
剩下的就是要实行了。
然后还有要找资料来写报告。
还有还有，Eunice，你房间装修好后，我们要去过夜！
过夜之前，我们要再次大挑战唱k！
就这么说定咯~
=p
*
钱钱钱。
它们就像女生来经期那样。
每个月都准时到。

这次真的衰到家了。
但也是怪我的理财有点差啦~
为什么？
很简单，我都把所有的零用钱和薪水都存进银行。
身上从来不留一毛钱在钱包里面。

这很好啊~为什么要哀怨？
因为，存进银行后，我都鲜少到银行领钱。
因为我觉得，那些钱是我辛苦赚来的，而且我现在对那笔数目有目的的，现在要我动手用，我会觉得自己很没用。

唉~
所以说，我是犯贱呢，还是没有头脑。
但这就是我一直以来的理财。

我想我还蛮失败的。
应该不会有人像我这样理财吧~
银行有钱不会去拿哦~

唉~~~
钱啊~~~
*

Happy Holiday!

2011-05-30T20:34:00.002+08:00

So, lets begin our week holiday/mid term break.

Basically, this week is supposed to be our mid term break.
But i choose to work.
Why?
Duh~ i need money lah~
Plus i've been working since almost one month ago.

But it's ok lah~
At least my mum's ear is quiet a lot now.
(You can imagine how i nag that much when i was jobless. xD)

Plus, it aint harm to work.
Of course, i have to get up early to avoid the damn traffic jam; then i have to start working till 5.30pm; then get back home with flat dead tired; dinner and sleep.
Then the circle goes again.

Yes, sometimes looking at my friend's tweet, they are so tempting.
Wake up late, sleep late, doing whatever they want, go wherever they feel like.
But me, wake up early, sleep early, office and home.
Still, i always think of a positive sides.
I work one day, i earn more money.
Muahaha~

But still, to all my fellow friends out there, have fun and enjoy!
May Buddha bless you all!
=)
*
Argh~
Still, during this week of time, still gotta find some time to finish up the assignments!
Especially Moral's play and Field Production Techniques' PSA.

It seems that lecturer had reject our PSA and asked us to re-do.
But the things now is, everyone is at their hometown, where the hell should we find some time?
Haiz...

Well, i do admit that our message were quite weak in the way of spreading it.
And i do blame it on myself for not writing the script nicely and doesnt contribute much ideas enough.
My team had done a great job, and i shall not let them take the blame.
So, for now, i had to think again the ideas and how to put them in pieces.
This time, i had to send the message strongly!

As for Moral's play, i still havent come out a slightest idea yet.
Too many things are coming in and i still havent analysis it.

Geez, even a one week break, there's like so many things need to be done.
*
Alright, made a decision.
I'm not going on August.
Instead i will extend my stay and we might be going elsewhere, further away from Taiwan.
He was thinking of Macau and i have dead long enough to want to visit their casino.
Especially the Venetian Macau Resort Hotel!
I want to see and feel the texture of the building.
If can, i want to lick it.
Haha~

Well, everything is still in plan.
All now, i just need to gather more information.
Oh ya, and to extend my flight ticket.

But i really cant wait till that day.
When we can really really have a nice face to face talk.
Where we can really really try to sort things out without interference.
I really do wish the problem will be solve.
At least let us try how we can communicate to solve things out.

If we are going to future together, we have to find a way to work things out.
Once and forever.
=)

我们

2011-05-28T17:16:00.003+08:00

这个礼拜看了两部电影：《The Pirates of Caribbean: On Stranger Tides》和《Kungfu Panda 2》。

这两部都是从第一次看到预告片，期待到现在的。
尤其海盗。不知何时在Fb看到预告片时，就一直吵着要看了。
现在都终于如愿看到了，心情高兴得无比形容。

只能说，好莱坞的制作越来越大胆了。
也许那个最原创的创意感没有那么强烈，不过大家只是在尽自己的责任。
牺牲宝贵的事情，换取观众的两个小时的兴趣和精神。
票房也许没那么注重了，最重要是自己耗时那么长时间的作品终于获得世界各地的肯定。

那就先恭喜这两部。
你们真的太棒，太赞！
谢谢你们的辛苦制作和心思。
我们的那两个小时都过得很开心。
=)
*
现在开始一个星期的假期。
不过我整个星期都会做工。
除非，Nikki她们打算要讨论功课。。。

就这样不知不觉我就做了整个月。
我还是老样子，只是当然会觉得累。
但无所谓啦~
一想到月头就出薪水了，整颗心就飞起来了。
哈哈~

但还是有出错的时候。
我也许真的该喝一罐鸡精，好好提神，把脑力给开发。
不然每次都害到大家白忙一场。

很多人都问我会做到什么时候。
我也不敢给答案。
我只是说，希望八月后我还能做工。
这个到时就要看那学期的时间表了。

暂时就这样。
加油哦！
*
和他和好了。
那整个月真的很煎熬，也真的很失望。

事情讲开后，除了心里的石头放下后，也看清了很多事情。

我不敢说我们是否在处理这件事的当儿，显得很成熟。
反而我觉得我们只是在成长。
我都在吸取教训和经验的过程。
很多事情都不是只能靠沉默来解决的。
偶尔来点小争吵，反而更能深一层的了解彼此。

我当然是希望这件事不会再发生了。
泪水流够了，唉声叹气到自己觉得烦，失眠一直在缠着。种种的失望和悲伤都该告一段落了。
我们还是能这样下去的，只要我们愿意用更好的沟通方式。

现在我也不是很敢奢望我们的未来，但我知道我很珍惜现在的我们。。
也带着这份心意，想这么一直走下去。

Bravo!

2011-05-25T19:07:00.002+08:00

Finally!
Everything is done within ONE DAY!
Thanks to all my beloved teammates.
You guys were pretty good.

Done with our PSA video shooting.
This time, i was just contributing ideas.
Due to my sickness, sometimes my brain cant react at the first place, so i just had to contribute ideas.
But it turn out that it was quite good.
And we had fun the whole day.

Went to Estee's house, located at Taman OUG.
One word to describe: HUGE!
I almost got lost there.
The only one way i did, was keep yelling names and listen carefully where the sound came from.
Haha~
Excuse me if i were too loud, or i had disturb anyone in the house, but i was lost!
Never mind, its a history now, and we are done with the video.
Good job!

So, all now left if the post production and we are ready to submit it.
Hope Buddha will bless us.
=)
*
We chatted that night and i still havent got any answer for him.
But the one thing i know, i had started to think more deeply about it.

I dont know whether i will found that answer just in time.
He gave me time and i gave him a task.

This journey may looks hard and harsh on us.
But i guess, sometimes this is the only way to makes us widen our eyes, look at what we have missing and what we must do to solve it.

I dont wish for any happy ending anymore.
But now, i only wish we will appreciate each other and always find a things a work things out.
We aint children anymore.
5 years and we had lots of understanding within each other.
Let's hope that this lesson will teach us forever...

最深爱的人伤我最深张惠妹&张雨生

2011-05-23T20:34:00.002+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

(男)黑夜来得无声爱情散得无痕
刻骨的风卷起心的清冷
吹去多年情份只剩我一人
(女)两朵孤单的魂会心的眼神
你我的苦竟是如此吻合
感情的沦落人相遇在这伤感的城
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
进退我无权选择
紧紧关上心门留下片刻温存
(男)只怕还有来生我爱的依然最真
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
(女)教人无助的深刻
(合)点亮一盏灯温暖我无悔青春
燃尽我所有无怨的认真
----====----
(女)两朵孤单的魂YA 会心的眼神 WO
(合)你我的苦竟是如此吻合
感情的沦落人相遇在这伤感的城
WU.WO.YA
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
进退我无权选择
紧紧关上心门留下片刻温存
只怕还有来生我爱的依然最真
我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
教人无助的深刻
点亮一盏灯温暖我无悔青春
燃尽我所有无怨的认真
YA..YA..WO..YA..
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
进退我无权选择 WO
紧紧关上心门留下片刻温存
只怕还有来生我爱的依然最真
(合)我最深爱的人 伤我却是最深
教人无助的深刻
点亮一盏灯温暖我无悔青春
燃尽我所有无怨的认真
点亮一盏灯温暖我无悔青春
燃尽我所有无怨的认真
*
两天的周末，我

恨
懊恼
生气
静坐
苦恼
发疯
假微笑
装失忆

总之身体和头脑细胞已经不知道死了多少万颗。

一句话，一个固执，一个自我，两个立场，两颗拥有判断力的头脑，两颗精疲力尽的心，无数行的泪水，无数滴的雨水，无数的言语，无数的意见，无数的耳朵借来，无数的谩骂，无数的关心，无数的叹气，无数的期待，无数的希望，无数的。。。
太多太所数不清的东西都发生在那短短的两天。

至今，我不敢说我已经冷静。
但至少我不会再有粗口了，不会有不理智的泪水，不会有胡思乱想的脑袋，不会有胡乱猜疑的心。
可是多了，一份很踏实的感觉，一颗慢慢清醒地脑袋，一双不能再流泪的眼睛，一颗能自动安抚自己的心。
最后，一个终于发现自己弱点的自己。

疑惑开始了。
担心开始了。
不舍开始了。
不能相信开始了。
我的心，也开始怀疑我自己的能力了。

未来，曾经是那么值得让人憧憬；可如今，我开始有点没信心。
未来，曾经那么看是美好；可如今，我发现我会害怕我自己没有办法跟上你的脚步。
未来，曾经在我耳边奏起非常悦耳的音符；可如今，我听到是害怕尖叫令人毛骨悚然的音乐。
未来，曾经我像少女般的梦幻着；可如今，我睁开眼看见镜子前的我是位常常让人嘲笑的少女。

我知道我们彼此都没有错。
错的是我们的执著，没有站在对方的位置想，语气和用词。
我们的确都是未来彼此好，可忘了对方都有想法和站场。
我们也忘了，有时退一步的确会看到海阔天空。
但如果有一方常常退一步的话，慢慢地快要掉入悬崖了。
我们伸手要求救，因为另一方习惯向前，忘了怎样退步，没办法我们只好睁开双眼，喉咙发出喊叫声，只能眼睁睁地看着另一方在悬崖上。

我不知道自己的形容对不对，可是这是我这两天把情绪平复下来后，深深感觉到的。
我也不喜欢这样的我们，我更恨这件事的发生。
万万更让我恨之入骨的是那两个字终于在出现了。
不是我在逃避，而是我发现我开始害怕了，我开始对这段感情没有信心了，我开始不知道要怎样诚实地对待我自己了。
嘴巴最厉害常常跟人说，无论发生什么事，万万不可以失去自己。
但，今天我要把这句话告诉自己。

但，不管怎样，我只希望我每晚都入眠。
我不要在三更半夜了，突然睁开眼睛，然后一整晚就是看着天花板。
闹钟响了，走到镜子前面，练习微笑，催眠自己一切都很好的。
冲凉后，再走到镜子前面，再对自己微笑后，才告诉自己我还是自己的。

这段时间就让我们彼此冷静。
然后我就趁这段时间，把自己给找回来。。。
一定要！

FML!!!

2011-05-21T17:03:00.002+08:00

I really dont understand!
I though this silence had brought you to another lever of thinking.
But it seems that i was just too naive.
What could possibly happened now?

Do you know that you are pointing a gun on my head now?!
Do you how much i have to suffer now?!
Why dont you just pull the trigger instead?! Let me die, so that we dont have to gone through this!

Its just only a trip.
Why cant you comprise a bit?!
You said you dont want me comprise anymore, because it makes you feel pain.
You dont want that ego to control you anymore.
You want to take control of it.
And now what?!
You are letting that ego grow!

Do you know how badly wounded i am now?!
Do you know how many pieces i have torn now?!

Those words that you used, those tones you used, you are just destroying this relationship!
Yes, i goddamn hate this distance.
We cant solve this issue immediately, and now we have it rot like hell!
We make this issue become a catastrophe.
Your way of solving problem had made everyone disappointed.
Your way of portraying this issue had made me feel like ending my life.

How did this happened?
Do you ever know that ever since we get back together, i was defending all those negative thinking and comments by my loved one?
They never really blessed us!
They never feel optimistic for our relationship.
They just faking a smile and hope, so that i wont get hurt.
But now, everyone is grabbing this chance now!

I want to scold foul language, but since the person is you, i kept all those words in my heart.
Because i know how much you hate it, even by just spelling it out.

Now you tell me, you teach me, am i that guilty enough to take this as a punishment?
Dear, we've known each other for 5 years!
5 years! That's not 5 months or 5 days, its 5 years!
By now, you should understand how this relationship would works.
Not like this!

I'm teared up!
I'm tired!
I feel like giving up now...
You tell me, is this the way you want?

我不要！！！

2011-05-19T20:19:00.002+08:00

为什么偏偏要在这种时候生病？
难道就不能让我逞强多8个月吗？
8个月而已。
一眨眼就过了。
为什么？唉~~~

昨天就已经察觉有点不对劲了。
死命地往喉咙和肚子灌水。
然后也拼命地上厕所。
最后，早上起床时，还是觉得不妥。
现在可好了。
真的轻微喉咙痛了，然后鼻塞，鼻水一直流，全身有点烫烫的，还有点头疼。

唉~
为什么就每次都在非常关键的时刻就给我来？
为什么每次要它来的时候就不来，不该来的时候就给我来到七七八八？

现在是什么状况？
厚~~~
我讨厌生病啦~~~
>.<|||
*
我已经换了这头发型有差不多四个多月了。
也许是很久没有回办公室了。
大家一见到我，第一个问题是：“咦，新来的？等等，妹妹是你吗？变得好美了！”

哈哈~
除了谢谢，也就是谢谢。
甚至还说我长大了，女大十八变。
当然我也回他们一句：“当然要变咯~不然男友看闷了，就跑路了。”
xD

是的，我开始做工了。
不用问，还是回到那间红酒公司上班。
这次每天放学后，就往那儿待到6点。
然后准时闪人。
因为要回家做功课嘛~

刚开始还会以为自己很不习惯。
因为要两边兼顾。
而且在上班时间，不能做蛇，找机会温习。
就只能一直做做做。
做到六点了，就微笑挥手说，时间到，回家做功课。
这句话就能抵挡所有要留我下来的人。
还补了一句：“功课学业要紧。”
哈哈~

但放心啦~
我知道自己的极限。
也知道自己的责任和该涉及到的范围。
我会尽力，也会照顾到自己本身的责任。
再怎么说，我还是不能辜负大家对我的期望。
所以啊~
还有多少困难和苦事，放马过来吧~
哈哈~
*
如果要算起来，这是我们沉默的第四个星期。

在这四个星期里，我做了好多好多的事。
大多都是没有把他放在心上的事。
哈哈~
比如说。。。还是不要说了，不然会被骂。
哈哈~

我们这件事，很多人都给予鼓励和批评的话语。
甚至还有人要我放手，不要这么的逞强。

还有更厉害的，能预知未来，说如果我们这样下去，到最后受伤的是我，因为我是这么的好胜好面子，不愿放人家。

可是这些是什么啊？
只是大家一味地猜，根本没有顾虑到我的感受。
但我也不能说什么，也答应了要戒口，不能乱报粗，就只好在心底问候他妈妈和弟弟。

但偶尔一个人独处时，那个神经脑袋又开始胡思乱想了。
是不是他真的不要我了？
我真的如他们所说，真的不愿放手吗？
等等，我有说过这件事情只有这唯一的办法吗？
就因为这点小事就分开，会不会太显得超幼稚？

最后还是告诉了自己，没事的，大家都不了解你们的这段感情，怎能因为他们的三言两语就这么轻易地怀疑。
到最后来，最幼稚的那个是我自己。

可是，说实在，我还真的很想念他。
虽然强迫自己不可以，因为他说要习惯没有彼此的生活，可是我不知道有任何方法可以阻止。
也许我还需要一点时间的调整。
把自己找回来，寻找我们当初爱上彼此的那共同点，努力地经营这段感情，不要再有任何伤痕了。
亲爱的，我们可以这样吗？
我真的真的好想你。。。

Happy Wesak Day

2011-05-17T12:07:00.003+08:00

First and foremost, Happy Wesak day to all of you out there.
May Buddha blessed you all.
We all live in a harmony and peaceful environment.
=)

Alright.
Yesterday night went to Chenz's house.
Went there for overnight girls' talk.
Brought brownies, snacks, poker cards, pillows, pajamas, bear bear...
And we are ready to rock the night.

Well, we talked a lots of stuff.
Mostly surrounding relationships.
Me and Stef used up the whole night, watching videos from Youtube.
Damn lots of epic things we had done.
Damn lots of epic topic we talked about.

Some were heartache, some were touching, some were just simply gossip.
All i can say is, we sistas are stronger than we look.
We might need a lot of strength to conquer all the hardness we are going through right now.
But at the end of the day, we need to show how unbeatable we are.
And even though we lost our loves one, that doesnt stop us from having fun in our life.

Boys and men, they are simply just a passerby.
They might leave a deep scar, or they might just take your breath away.
But do remember, my loves, no matter what happened, we will be there for each other.
We just love each other too much.
And we just dont want to see each other to get hurt.

Smile and remember to love yourself everyday.
=)
*
One more week and i'm off to one week mid term break.
This is so fast and i almost cant believe we are in the mid May now.
Times really sure fly.

This my 4th sem and everything seems in a nice and smooth way.
So far everything is looking good and nothing much need to be worried.

But 3 more sem and i need to consider my future.
This question had been bothering me on and off.
Still, i cant see the answer yet.
I always say let the fate decide.
But is there really nothing i can work on?
I mean at least i still have the balls to dream.

I wont like to list out what is my consideration for stop dreaming.
It just seems annoying at some point.
Yet it's so true and i'm living with it.

Maybe you can say, focus on your present, let the future comes by itself.
And sometimes i wish i can tell myself: Its ok if you dont let your dream live, at least you dream of it before...

*
After that phone call, i gotta admit first, i was so brave that i didnt let my tears flow.
No, you silly, we are fine.
But sometimes you gotta find out what is causing this silence, and you have to make a move to solve it.

We chatted a lot that day.
After hanging up the phone, i realize he's right at some point.
Yet, i still cant change the fact that the silence had hurt our relationship.
I dont know it's in a good way or bad way, but i'm still hanging on. (And i hope he is.)

This is the third week since the silence starts.
And i shall thanks this silence.
I dont know whether it makes me grown up or not.
But it leads me to another world.

I found out that i can get my happy source from anywhere.
No longer it only limits to him.
I can be happy when i'm with my family, with my friends, when i'm driving, when i'm alone, when i'm riding in a train, when i'm rushing assignments...
I can be happy anytime and anywhere.
And i felt a relief that i no need to worried about his emotions if i do this do that.
I just be myself and i'm fine and i'm happy.

Still, no doubt, i miss him.
I miss talking crap with him.
I miss making him smile with my silly questions.
I miss all those sweets talk that happen for no reason.
I miss his words and his tone.
I miss the way he put me to bed.
I miss sharing all my joy to him.
I miss his warmth, even we are far apart.
I miss...
I just simply miss him.

I had no idea where this silence will lead us to.
But i just miss him and i want the whole world to know.

哈哈~

2011-05-14T11:19:00.002+08:00

终于都给弄好了。
昨天本来想要更新的，怎知Blogger在update system，一整天都不让人进来。
算了，还是回归正题。

话说，本来上个星期接到讲师的电话，问我有没有兴趣参加一个训练营。
我说蛮有兴趣，不过不知能不能从上司那儿得到offday，过后就真的有点忘了。
后来，星期三的时候，Nikki就要我陪她到办公室那儿，因为她也被点名了。
我就随着去。怎知负责人也要我填表格，我也当场傻眼。
后来也不理了，就照填那个表格，然后也答应了要去出席。

隔天，早上6点半就要火车站了。
要搭到Segambut，然后等朋友来载。
塞了一点点地车，我们还比任何人早到。7点多就到了。
Nikki和Syafiq还在大厅的沙发上睡了觉。

那个训练营是8点半开始，陆续地大家都到了。
我们也去报到处报到。

这次这个训练营是由Effie Award主办的。
Effie Award主要是针对各个商家的广告。
当中可以看到各个商家们的创意和动机。
每个广告后面都是一大群的合作力量，然后用不同的故事，打动我们这些消费者。
虽然有些的产品不见得很吸引人，可是他们用的创意都能让我们心动。
而这次的训练营就是要针对这些入名和得奖的广告中学习。
看看他们的厉害和有什么地方需要增强。

其实这个训练营的动机和目的都是很吸引人。
可是不知是太早起身，或者那些主讲人的说话方式和题目，我们（我，Niiki, Zoe ）都一直在钓鱼。
后来到后面真的到极点了，我整个人开始high起来了。
很多超废的话题都能给我想到。
我也不想再这边说。哈哈~

但还是得说，看到那些广告时，还真的很钦佩他们的努力和创意。
虽然不知道未来的我是否会在那块领域里面。
不过那天的一些画面和知识，让我对这块领域多了一点的了解。

*
现在又懒在这边。
不想去动那个Moral的功课。
应该说，灵感还没找上门，很难要开始一段句子。

唉~
要写电影审查就算了。
还要套用上课时学的一些东西。
那是要怎要写哦？
讲师只是把内容告诉我们，可是没有告诉我们更详细的。

不过还好我们可以用英语写。
因为太久没用国语了。
现在的国语程度只是所谓的pasar bahasa。
一点都不标准的。
甚至还参了别的语言。
哈哈~

不过还是得要把它完成啦~
这是分数叻~
我不要重考，不要肥佬，也不要延毕啦~
就这样啦~
要开始做功课了。
=p

HOT!!!

2011-05-10T20:15:00.002+08:00

The weather is so damn HOT!!!
Heard news report, it reach till 36 degrees!
And because there's a volcano explosion or something that caused it.

Haiz~
Just hope that everyone really do take care of themselves.
Drink more water, eat more fruits.
Still, use less air condition, stop using tissue papers.
Just do whatever it takes to save our mother earth.
She's sick and we are making it worse.
Just imagine, you are sick, but then you still keep expose yourself under the sun, you dont drink water, you dont rest well.

No matter what, love mother nature like how it loved us.
*
This week marks the third week of silence.
I just dont know what to do now.
I tried to break the silence, but you gave no response.
After that, you just disappear from the bridge that connects us.
And i stood there like a stupid idiot, irregardless how the rain falls on me nor the sun shine on me.

I can start to feel a bit tired.
Therefore i just leave it for time.
Let's see what will happened after then.

I just ran out of idea.
I just couldnt know what to do next.
I cant see the direction with this idiot act.

Thats why this few weeks, i try to keep myself busy.
Stay away from baby lappie.
I only turn it on for assignment and tasks reason.
I try to finish it early, so i wont let my mind run into stupid thoughts.

It might be also a good thing.
From there, i can find a new direction to guide me out of this.

Maybe we might talk in another few days, few hours, few minutes, few seconds, still you cant change the fact that i'm deeply insecure and wounded...

But i cant let my tears fall anymore.
It aint fair for this relationships.
I mean this is my option, so why i cant turn around and move on.
Let's see how far it can bring me.
Though you are still deeply tatoo in my heart...

母亲节快乐！

2011-05-08T12:57:00.002+08:00

母亲节快乐！
每个五月的第二个星期日，都在歌颂着母爱的伟大。

我家里很少庆祝这种节日的啦~
最多这天尽量不要惹恼母亲大人就可以了。
凡事都顺她，不顶嘴，也不要她破口大骂就对了。

老妈现在人在家乡喝着喜酒。
而我们就在吉隆坡这里，无聊地过着这顶天炎热的下午。

但无论身在何方，还是要感谢老妈的牺牲和温馨。
我们无论到了什么年龄，在老妈的眼里，我们始终是她的宝贝。
也无论我们犯了什么错误，她还是最终选择原谅我们，愿意给我们机会来弥补。
无论我们如何埋怨日子或人际相处，老妈很愿意借我们一双耳朵，在适当的时候给予勉励的话。
当然，当子女的，24小时都会让老妈担心的。
虽然没有表现出来，但只要细心观察，还是知道老妈的用心良苦。

还有很多很多的事情，就算给我一百张纸都写不完的。
但，有一句话是必须要说出来。
我的漂亮青春动人的老妈，你女儿我真的真的真的太爱你了！！！
<3
*
这几天的天气实在热到不行。
就连早上都开始热了。
每天本来想赖床多一阵子，可是就是热到定不顺了，只好起床。

地球开始发烧了。
纵使很多环保口号正在喊着，可是似乎都没发挥到什么作用。
人们还是我行我素，只是想着自己的方便和利益。
就说我们平时到快餐吃就好了。
还记得那天我在lcct的麦当当隔壁坐着。
我就目睹了很多一大包一大包的垃圾。
我还可以夸张点，每隔20分，就由工作人员从后面拿出来。
而且是一大包的。
里面装了什么，你我都知道。
我当场还傻眼了一阵子。那包包的垃圾还是一直很频密地放在大型垃圾桶里面。

你说，就是为了一时的方便，一人分一顿地快餐要砍掉多少棵树。
由于都沾上了油渍，那些都不能被环保，就只好两种解决方法：被烧或丢在垃圾山中。
垃圾山现在也是一个课题。
因为垃圾太多了，而垃圾山快要差不多和神山一样地高，就连已往生地众生们必须得让位给垃圾山。
这课题还曾经搬到国际新闻去。

看吧~
我们人类就是这样的自私。
认为大自然很顺然地给我们，我们就要享受到极点。
可是我们忘了，大自然是有生命体的。
你这样对待它，它会双倍地换回。
所以作为惩罚，这就是结果。
天灾很频密地发生，人类都在受罪着。
就连是世界末日也搬出来了。

所以啊~
环保口号固然好，可是它的发挥作用还是无法展示出来。
甚至只是一个宣传口号而已。
人们久了会渐渐把它遗忘的。。。

Back At One by Brian Mcknight

2011-05-06T16:31:00.003+08:00

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.

It’s undeniable that we should be together
It’s unbelievable, how I use to say that I’d fall never
The basis is need to know
If you don’t know just how I feel
Then let me show you now that I’m for real
If all things in time, time will i reveal
one,You’re like a dream come true
two, just wanna be with you
three, girl it’s plain to see that you’re the only one for me
four, repeat steps one tru three
five, make you fall in love with me
if ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start back at one
It’s so incredible, the way things work themselves out
And all emotional,
once you know what it’s all about, eh
And Undesirable, for us to be apart
I never would have made it very far
Cause you know you’ve got the keys to my heart
one,You’re like a dream come true
two, just wanna be with you
three, girl it’s plain to see that you’re the only one for me
four, repeat steps one tru three
five, make you fall in love with me
if ever I believe my work is done
Say farewell to the darkened night
I see the coming of the sun
I feel like a little child,
Whose life has just begun.
You came and breathed new life into this lonely heart of mine
You threw out the life line
Just in the nick of time
oh one,You’re like a dream come true
two, just wanna be with you yeah~
three, girl it’s plain to see that you’re the only one for me
four, repeat steps one tru three
five, make you fall in love with me
if ever I believe my work is done
if ever I believe my work is done
Then I’ll start to back at one
*
Came back from college to do video shooting.

It's quite tiring but fun at the same time.
There were many times we had to change the script due to camera angle.
We only get to lend one camera and there's no lighting, no everything.
Just one camera.
But i guess we still manage to nail it down.

Glad that everyone did lend a hand to help out.
Silly me, i even suffer from pressure attack yesterday night.
Thoughts were going through my mind, and i cant read them most of the time.

Then it turns out that everything was just me.
I just scaring myself and putting pressure in myself too much.

Next mission for next week, we will learn how to edit videos.
For the meantime, i need some rest and pray that no bad news will happened.
*
It's already two weeks, but the silent had not broken.
What makes me more worried is that i havent seen him online for two days.
Many negative thoughts is swimming in my mind now.
I just hope sincerely he's fine.
He's still healthy and happy all the time.

It's quite ironic.
At the beginning, whenever he's online, i will feel sad and disappointed.
But now, two days without his presence online, i feel much more insecure now.
Fxxx it!
I hate this type of feeling.
Buddha, i wish i hadnt thought of that earlier.
Stupid me.

But dear, i really hope you are alright.
At least show me you are online.
It sucks that we are in this distance and the silent is our darkest enemy.
But without your presence, this enemy tries to eat me up.

Lastly, i just want you to know, I MISS YOU...

好事好事 =)

2011-05-04T21:15:00.002+08:00

五月，才刚开始而已，还真的对我不错。
希望这运气一直持续下去，不要让它中止。

那天不是说与表姐出门的吗？
那我就趁机抓机会，问看有没有工可以让我做。
隔天就收到简讯说我随时都可以上班。
我简直高兴到仿佛天上掉下来了一笔钱。
当然就立刻回信息说我要下个星期开始。
所以，就这样决定，星期二至五，放学后，都到公司报到。

接下来，这学期果然不是可以那么轻松了。
虽然已经开课接近4个星期了，功课也慢慢找上门来了。
单单今天就已经开始实行了两样功课。
第一样，到访一间专门收留被性侵犯，或者被家庭抛弃，或被虐对，或家庭不能继续养孩子的中心。
我们到那儿去收集资料，好可以完成我们的功课。
虽然还没看到亲身与那些孩子们交流，不过我们已经决定要做多一次拜访。

第二样就是Field Production Techniques。
基本上我们就是学习如何拍片。
从基本的工具，到一些技巧。
这次我们要自己写剧本，自己找场地，自己找化妆服装，自己剪接等等，要完成一部2分钟的短片。
我这次就负责写剧本。
所以现在正在寻找灵感。
也希望我们这次的短片不会让大家失望。

今天才是五月的第四天，可是那么多事强已经发生了。
而且还是好事。
至少都让我转移注意力，不再沉浸在自己的悲伤和拉锯的世界。
也许那几天我真的表现得不是我自己。
就连我自己现在回想，也觉得自己有点愚蠢。

现在，我就把自己投入在这些好事上。
至于那些不顺利的事，就一切随缘。
反正，开心也好，难过也好，日子还是得过。
=)

Too many and too fast

2011-05-02T20:42:00.004+08:00

Went out with cousin to 1u.
We planned this like weeks ago.
Just a simple outing.
Lunch, movie, window shopping.So, this time we watch "A Chinese Ghost Story".
And i must say, at first i really didnt know what it was.
Until cousin describe a little of the plot and i remembered seeing the poster at TTDI.
So, i said yes and supposedly to book online, but the thing wont work.
SO, we had to line up.
Luckily, the line was quite fast.
Less then half an hour, i'm already holding the tickets.

Well, i must say, i'm quite impressed with the story plot.
I mean this is one of the most classic Chinese story.
From story books to movie that was acted by Leslie Cheung, how can you not say this is one of the most classic?
I keep pray that the movie will turn out to be a nice one.
At least dont spoil the classic sense.
And it turn out my wish came true.

The story twisted 180 degree, still it's worth to watch.

Liu YiFei, who played as the ghost, had change to be a devil, hence you cannot make a comparison to the classic. Because both of their character aint the same. Still, she did it quite nice.
Louis Koo, acted as the devil hunter fell in love the devil first. Which is the first twist from the classic. No words to describe him because he took this character very seriously and i almost cried for a few times when he cried too.
Yu ShaoQun, played a government's blacksmith (second twist), fell in love after that. The character was almost same as the classic one. Still, he did it nicely.

Well, to be honest, i cant say it's the best movie, but it really worth to watch.
You should watch it because it's the twisted classic movie, and it had nothing related to the classic one.
They are one individual story that they just borrow the theme from it.
If i shall rate it, 3.5 out of 5.
=)
*
Maybe it's my luck.
Or maybe it's just me myself.

Suffering from many negative mood this few days.
From heartbroken, to self-cheating, to depressing, to faking myself, to scolding myself...
Too many of it and i kept it silently in my heart.

I'm not that kind of girl that show it out easily. (Except for temper.)
I just too used of putting a mask on it.
And hope that no one will look through it.
I rather die in my inner heart than letting others to attack me with it.

You may say i just trying to be brave, and the truth is yes i am.
I just dont want others to think i'm such a weak person.
I just dont like it.
I feel like betraying myself if i let it out.
Therefore, i only had this blog to express it out.

Forgive me if i had scared you with this post.
It just i need a space out and all these things had happened too fast.
I might catch a breath in between, then i need courage to face it.
Please Buddha, let me survive through this...

恭喜恭喜 =)

2011-04-30T14:20:00.006+08:00

好快哦~
今天已是4月的最后一天了。
真的太快了。

算算，我中学毕业已经有两年了。
踏入学院生活有一年多了。
投入在感情世界也快要两年了。
拿了2年的驾照。换句话说，那个p牌快要拆下来了。

严格来说，我的生活好像是中学毕业后才开始。
我开始作主了。
我开始有自己的想法了。
我开始会担心家里的状况，想出份力量来帮忙。
我开始成熟了，不再拿小小的事情来杀死我体内的细胞。
我开始会规划我的人生，虽然还是有点模糊，可是我一点都不怕了。
我开始学会爱，爱或被爱，还真的是门学问。

很多很多事情，都开始慢慢象征着我不再是那个可以人性地耍脾气小孩子。
我要长大了。
要学会人与人之间的相处。
要学会戴面具和面罩来打拚。
要学会偶尔的撒娇是有加分的。
要学会压力可以是朋友，也可以是你的天敌。
要学会如何跟危机打交道，不让危机成为你计划的绊脚石。
还有要学会收敛脾气，不是每件事都可以靠脾气和傻劲来完成的。

我还小，年轻是我的本钱。
这段时间应该给人骗，给人敲诈，给人玩弄，给人设计。
我这段时间也要醒目，偶尔扮愚蠢，偶尔要站出来顶自己。
就是因为要年轻，所以更加要经历这些。

我快要20岁了。
就在19岁的这一年，我会继续疯癫，一直到一个极限为止。。。
*
昨天看了威廉王子的婚礼。
这个相隔30年后，英国终于都有个喜事可以大家一起共享盛举。

昨天一路这么看，心里还真的很惦念戴安娜王妃。
看着威廉王子，虽然样子比较像爸爸，可是很多报导都说妈妈还是占据他心中很大的位置。
是啊~
单看这场婚礼的地点和歌曲曲目，还有贵宾们，都可以非常清楚看到。
有朋友在Twitter说，戴安娜王妃一定在某处衷心地祝福他们这对新人。

当中有几个部分还真的很闷，可是我和老妈一直在讲东讲西。
贵宾们的服装，教堂的装潢，贵宾们的头饰，女王的历史，戴安娜王妃的历史，查尔斯王子的历史，贵宾名单，等等。
而且还看到很多超帅的帅哥。
单单哈里王子就一直让我尖叫了。
还有，詹姆士，凯特的弟弟。哈哈~

该说的，我昨天已在微博和Twitter说了。
最后就祝福这对新人。
希望他们能打破咒语，一直白头偕老，双双对对。
也希望下一个喜事能快点宣布。

*
昨天都差点忘了我们之间的沉默。
看完整段婚礼时，还想快点把那心情与他分享。
刚开始打字时，才记得。

我们这样已经有9天了。
可是我就是不懂要如何打破这沉默。
而且很衰样，这段时间一直听到很多人都在闹分手，害得我的心差点担心过头而昏倒。
可是还是朋友的一句话，把我从悲伤中救回来。

亲爱的，我真的不知道如何是好。
只是希望你在那边一定要开开心心哦~
而且身体的健康一定要顾好。
你所有负面的情绪就让我承担好了。
你就带着所有正面的力量，继续为未来打拼。
我在这里都很好。

I hate April!

2011-04-28T14:18:00.002+08:00

Went to McD to fulfill a promise.
And there's 5 more weeks to go.
Gambateh!

Many funny things happened during the lunch.
Lots of epic and useless conversation were held.
Me, Ruling, Crystal and Nikki.
Yup.
That's the result of 4 of us gather together.

For the first time in my life too, i ate a large McD meal.
Plus one sundae too.
Still, i couldnt finish it.
Ate finished the burger and sundae.
Took back home the fries and coke.
Oh, and that first collection of coke's cup.

The color was much nicer compare that the pictures.
But mum commented it look just like the Carlberg's cup.
Well, i dont care.
Because first of, this is a promise i made with him.
And second, sometimes i just like to do silly stuff.

Either way, 5 more weeks to go.
I'll see if i want to post a picture of the 5 cups later.
Haha~
*
If Eunice didnt mention, i hadnt realize that April is coming to the end.
And yes, April aint my month at all.
Too many things happened like i mention at the last few posts.

May is coming in just a few days.
I dont hope to wish anything in May.
But i just wish my tears will stop falling.
And please be deaf when my heart breaks again.
I dislike that sound.

I wont want to say much about it again.
But this time, it hurts more than last few time.
I just dont want each one of us to feel hurt and useless.
This isnt what we want the others to feel.
This is so wrong.

But what can i do?
I've tried to break the silence, but in the end, all i get is the echo of my heart break.
Maybe i should listen to Eunice.
This is only a temporarily. Everything will be alright in a snap of fingers. I just need to believe in him, me and this relationship.

Haiz~
No matter what issue it is, i just wish May will be a calm month.
No more war or any conflict.
Just let it be a calm and smooth May...

正面思考

2011-04-26T14:07:00.002+08:00

都已经习惯了吧~
每天早上6点半起床，接下来就不需要很详细地讲啦~

只是今天很，我也不知道该用什么形容词。
就是我出门了，刚好停在家门口的红绿灯。
突然接到Crystal的电话，说今天的课取消了。还有同学也写在Facebook上面。
我就只好说谢谢后，看到Eunice的简讯，也拨电给Nikki。
我就只好找个地方U转。

一回到家，爸妈看到我回来，还以为我发生什么事了。
我告诉他们一切后，就坐下来陪他们吃早餐。
也聊了很多。
才发现，我已经有一段时间没与家人吃早餐了。
每天都为了避免塞车，而被迫早早就出门。
也很感谢这次的课被取消，我才有机会坐下来。

过后我就躺在床上面，任由思绪到处飘。
也不知是否太累了，还是我的床的怀抱太温暖了，眼皮也随着盖上，进入梦乡去了。
厚~
那感觉真的很爽。
仿佛把一切疲惫给一次过清理。
睁开眼睛时，整个人的精神好爽快，好有活力。
甚至还偷偷许下心愿，偶尔来点这样也不错嘛~

很奇怪，这次的事件发生，我的火只是燃烧了那几秒钟。
剩下的时间我一直在感谢这件事的发生。
因为你看，那短短的早上，我可以弥补了这两件事。
你说，到底棒不棒？
=)
*
那天真的很抱歉，我不知道到底有没有让任何担心。
我在公路上猛踩油门。
把窗口拉下，耳边除了风声，电台正在播什么歌曲，也听不进。

我很清楚我在干嘛，可是当下的我并没有把自己的安危放在眼前。
只是一味地踩油门到底。
然后听着耳边的风生带来的快感。
当时我飙到120时速。
心里意外地没有感到害怕或紧张，仿佛有点放松了有点慢慢接受事实的感觉。
当然，为了不让你更加担心，我还是不要写得那么仔细。

可能这就是为什么有些人心情不好时，都会去飙车。
我也体验到了。
没有害怕，没有紧张，判断力都沉入自动状态，耳边的风声把我暂时封锁，眼睛虽然看着前方可是就是没办法移动。
就这样一直飙到家为止，才慢慢恢复意识。
当时还是早上，所以公路上并没有很多车。
也蛮庆幸的一点。

我不敢保证下次会不会还这样做。
可是我知道，那次之后心情的确是冷静很多。
打开了心胸，告诉自己，与其流泪过一天，不如带着笑容过。
至少心不会觉得闷闷的，也不必这么难受。
*
自从那天说好要学会正面思考，心里的确没有这么难受了。
开始学会抱着感谢感恩的心态。

当然很感谢这件事的发生，我才有机会更深一层的了解他。
有机会重新听到自己用的词语和语气。
有机会听到他的心声。

亲爱的，你放心好了。
我真的不会怪你。
你也不要在继续怪你自己了。
对身心都不是很好噢~
我们这段时间没有联络，也许是件好事。
因为我开始学会找另外一个出口来发泄，也学会如何暂时不理会事情。
以前的我，要是这样子还继续下去，我还真的每天红着眼睛面对大家。
可是这次的我不会那样。
反而我会想办法放下先，疯狂地与朋友玩一顿。
再来才慢慢想办法要如何与你和好。

亲爱的，你真的是最棒了。
至少往好的方面想，你还敢表达你的情绪。
而且我们也会为了这种事而争议。
这不是每对情侣都会面对的叻~
因为可能他们选择不要去面对，反而时间久了，也许某天当他们踏入婚姻时，才发现这种事真的不能躲避的。
我们却在这个阶段就面对了。
也很敢做决定。
虽然不容易，但这见证了我们对这段感情的责任和热情。
我还真的要感谢你。

亲爱的，不要联络也好，要联络也好。
我还是要告诉全世界，你是我的男人叻~
我当然很欣赏你，很爱慕你，很崇拜你。
而且对你的爱也不会输给你对我的爱。

亲爱的，我真的很爱你哦~
<3

It's only April...

2011-04-24T12:49:00.002+08:00

Sunday.
Couldnt really much describe what's my mood now.
I mean there's so many mixture of it.
Just like drinking a glass of cocktail.
Different kind of taste appears on your tongue when you took a sip.

I dont know whether i should feel heartache or happy or sad or tears or fake my smile or fake my hope or...
Argh~
I really dont know.

It's only the fourth month of 2011 and there's too many things happened.
I cant list out the details but it making me wonder how should i live on with all this?
Especially my relationship.
We've been going through a lot of fights and conflicts since the beginning of year.
I'm not doubting us but i just tired of this.

I really dont want to go through what WongFu had said in his video.
I do understand that we are going through stages right now.
It just sometimes i'm tired of it.
I need some fresh air to breath.
Not the aroma of my tears.

I dont mind get hurt.
I really dont.
It just i dont want us to look so fragile.
I dont want us to start doubting each other whether what is the next step he/she is taking.
I need us to stay strong and trust each other with full heart.

Yes, there are many obstacles in front of us now.
And the biggest factor is about our surroundings.
I guess he's right.
We need to calm down and give some time and space to think about it.

But i need to speak out now, i wont let go no matter what happened.
Unless it's reasonable and convincing, or else i wont let go.
I've lost him once and i dont want to do it the second time.
Maybe it was me that need all these meditation.
But the last thing i wanna say, i dont need WongFu to guide me which stages we are now and predict what is our next move.
No offense but somehow it makes my stupid mind wander to negative thinking and making me feel insecure.
Still, thanks to WongFu for teaching me a lesson.

Fireworks Exile

2011-04-22T13:42:00.002+08:00

This Flash Player was created @ FlashWidgetz.com.

It's SUMMERTIME!
EXILE's main job is to rock this world
Wish it's forever
消えないで燒け付き身を焦がす
Fireworks, just like fireworks
君が火を點けた導火線
胸の中走り拔け打ち上がる
Your love is like fireworks

A E I O U　不意をつかれて
聞かれたくない溜息
You blow my mind
スパイシ一で甘い
唇で覆い盡くすから
視線を奪い離さないネオンの花
闇を照らし　魂を搖さぶる光
思わず手を伸ばす
Diamonds in the sky
That makes me want to fly

風が吹いてもself-ignitionが作動
火花は今にも燃え出しそう
情熱がはじけ飛ぶ音
Bang! Bang! Bang!
真夏の夜に
Wish it's forever
消えないで燒け付き身を焦がす
Fireworks, just like fireworks
君が火を點けた導火線
胸の中走り拔け打ち上がる
Your love is like fireworks

宵の頃コントラストはまだ
暮夜けて滲んでいるけど
You took my breath away
So high雲の上へ
誘い夢見心地にしてしまう
體中に浴びせるillusion shower
細胞に滲み迂んで愛を伝える
思わず握りしめる
Diamonds in the sky
That makes me want to fly

風が吹いてもself-ignitionが作動
火花は今にも燃え出しそう
情熱がはじけ飛ぶ音
Bang! Bang! Bang!
真夏の夜に
轉載來自 ※Mojim.com　魔鏡歌詞網
Wish it's forever
消えないで燒け付き身を焦がす
Fireworks, just like fireworks
君が火を點けた導火線
胸の中走り拔け打ち上がる
Your love is like fireworks

Hu　眩し過ぎるBaby
陽の日差しで身も心もBlazin'
夏の夜風でも冷ますことは無理
もう既に癖になりそうでCrazy
アッアッ二人の距離はまだ
アッアッ近くて遠いから
アッアッ朝日がのぼる前に
確實に縮めようぜこのまま
Bang F.I.R.E.wowowoworks
Yes 5.4.3.2.1　カウントダウン
今本物の愛手につかんだ
もし離れていても無い不安は
ほら見上げろ空に壁はないぜ
二人のWorld　心を繫いでる
その瞬間瞬間に誓う Love Forever
いつまでもSpark
Everytime I see you...
My heart burns, breaks and shakes, oh crazy...
またポ一ズを替えて迫り來る
Niagara, Star-mine, Roman-candle
It's SUMMERTIME!
EXILE's main job is to rock this world
It's SUMMERTIME!
EXILE's main job is to rock this world

Wish it's forever
消えないで燒け付き身を焦がす
Fireworks, just like fireworks
君が火を點けた導火線
胸の中走り拔け打ち上がる
Your love is like fireworks

觸れるな火遊びはDanger
これはガキのお遊びじゃね一んだ
すぐ消える火遊びはDanger
もしやんなら後始末忘れんな
Wish it's forever
消えないで燒け付き身を焦がす
Fireworks, just like fireworks
君が火を點けた導火線
胸の中走り拔け打ち上がる
Your love is like fireworks
*
音乐力量大！
无论是在什么情形下听，音乐都不会背叛你的。

我很喜欢一个人时，开着播放器，进入随机状态，看看今天的歌曲能不能与我的心情对到。
哈哈~
这种玩法，就好像等着开奖的那样等待。
如果你今天的心情是欢乐，可是播放器却一直在播着忧伤的歌曲，你也还是得继续听下去。
就一直让它一直播放到你想要听的歌为止。

我就是这样一直地玩。
看看是播放器会影响我，还是我影响播放器。

听到自己想要的歌曲时，就尽情地开最大声。
不理会身边正在发生什么事，就是让那音乐侵袭自己的耳膜，然后慢慢感染体内的每一个细胞。
你可能的心情是忧伤，可是在无知中，你还是觉得很不错的忧伤。
哈哈~

人跟音乐不一样。
人必须靠时间和行动来获取信任。
可是音乐，也许一开始你不是很喜欢，但慢慢的，只要你用心打开你的耳膜，让它进入你体内，无形中，你也开始喜欢了它。
前者需要实际行动，后者只需你坐下来静静聆听。

所以，你说，如果这些理由真的存在，真的有那么说服力，我还能不喜欢音乐吗？
^3^
*
就算是门当户对，冲突争议吵架骂架伤害都是无法避免的。
最大的理由都是因为我们来自不同的家庭环境。
有些人就是无法承受这个理由，而选择放手。
也有些人更厉害，甚至不想踏入感情陷阱，就是深怕自己会不能适应彼此。

当我们决定在一起的那一刻时，我就已经做好心理准备了。
也告诉自己，如果真的合不来，那就不要浪费彼此的时间和青春。
可是你知道我为什么还继续要与你在一起吗？
那是因为我告诉自己，如果我离开了你，就算我遇到了下一位，我还是不可能找到一位生长环境与我一样的人。
既然如此，我为何不成熟点？
当我们在拼凑一幅拼图时，我们也会碰到不能完整融入空位的那一块。
我们会想办法，找对的角度或另找图案来填补它。

感情就是如此。
我们都正在玩拼图。
而那些空位就是我们的一些些障碍。
性格，生长环境，个人看法，外人的言语，自己的心理障碍等等。
我们就负责找个角度来和解。
也许会花时间，可是我相信我们还是有办法完成的。

就当作是我们还很年轻。
还有很多事情等着我们去经历。
好吧？

Epic day =)

2011-04-20T22:56:00.003+08:00

Today's class was quite ok, i guess.
At least we learn how to play with video camera's tripod.
High angle, wide angle, and wrap it all up.
The tripod was quite heavy and a bit long.
But everyone did a great job.

But this is not the fun part.
Last week, we plan to pay a visit to Taman Connaught's night market.
Of course we need to stay one night at Eunice's house.
So, after getting permission, off we execute our plan.
And right now, i'm blogging at her house.
Haha~

Since class ended at 11.30am, there's plenty of time before the night market.
So, we decided to eat lunch and went for a karaoke session.
After lunch, we parked at Leisure Mall and walk to Neway.
6 of us, plus Crystal coming a bit late, 7 of us sang together from 1.30pm till 7pm.

Damn lots of epic things happened in that room.
We danced, we rocked, we emo-ed, we done silly stuff, we changed the singing style.
Well, obviously, you named it, and we did it.
Just that i need to sharpen my rapping skills again.
Sucks, my rapping skill had regress.
I cant rap PROPERLY a song.
Especially Limp Bizkit's "Rollin'"...
Argh~ i need to train behind doors now.

Then we headed to the night market.
And damn, the night market is very very very long...
We decided to walk half the market and left the other half for next time.
Things went smoothly.
Until rain started to fall from sky.
And you know what i did, i was holding a piece of fried chicken while walking in fast pace and my mouth was munching it.
Ok, shouldnt describe it so detail, but i cant stop laughing whenever that image pop out.

So, plan to night market was a bit failure, we change our destination to a steamboat restaurant.
And there, we gossip and talk, at the same time, we keep stuffing food into our mouth.
And yes, i'm damn full right now.
I dont know what time am i heading to bed now.

Overall, today is damn epic day.
Thanks to Eunice, Crystal, Pee Yee, Ian, Bing, MeiTze and Samantha.
Let's do this again!
*
Watched an episode of variety show yesterday.
They were talking about changing every thoughts to positive thinking.
So that you are calm down and your mind is clear to solve the problems.

Well, it did occurred me for a while.
I mean i'm quite well known with my temper.
And sometimes i cant make a solution when pressure starts pressing me.
Temper and impatience are always my biggest foe.
I just never like them.
Never once.

After the show, i realize maybe i havent find a way to change my thoughts.
I mean, look at it.
I got angry because i lock myself within my temper.
I for mad because i'm not trying to find a way out. Instead i punished myself and other people with my foe.
This makes me felt guilty all the time.

Maybe i really should starts find a way to change my thoughts.
Maybe i really should starts master meditation or at least stop tormenting myself with my stupid thoughts.

It aint fair for the others to bear my foe.
It aint worth it for the others to solve my problems while i'm stuck in my minds.
It aint satisfying to know that others are trying to make me happy while i reject myself.
It aint fun for myself neither.

Stop thinking about stupid thoughts.
Stop locking myself within my temper.
Stop punishing myself and others with my foes.
Starts think widely and push myself to the limit.
Starts think positively and make my day a happy day.
Starts to learn how to transfer positive energy to the others as well.

I need time and i need space.
For sure, i need myself to cooperate.
Forgive me if my sudden change scares you, but i'm kinda tired with my foes.
I want them to get out from my life forever...
*

谎言和真实

2011-04-18T19:16:00.003+08:00

今天上Ethnic in PR时，讲师就开了一部电影让我们观赏。
《Easy A》

故事的情节是如此。
女主角本来是一个不怎么起眼的女生。
某天，她的好友邀请她一起露营，可是她就是不是很想去。
但又不知怎么开口拒绝。
她就开始撒了谎，说要与一个男人约会。
事实上，根本就没有那个男人。她就只是在家度过了周末。
星期一，朋友就问了她与那男人约会的情景。
还问了到底有没有和男生轧上。
女主角说没有，可是朋友不信。
一直说女主角很害羞，这么一点点都不要说。
女主角最后又跟着撒谎，说有轧上，把第一次献给了那个男生。
就这样，故事圆绕在女主角撒谎后。

讲师要我们以公关的角度去研究。
为什么女主角要撒谎？
为什么女主角不早早出来说真话？
周围的人是怎样扭曲事实？
而那些相信真实的人，为何还要来加害她？
种种的问题，原来都是在我们现实中都常发生的。

这部电影很棒的地方是，女主角后来决定一次过澄清整个谎言，而且身后有个很强的力量在支持她。
是的，有时要承认错误，你必须要拥有很大的勇气。
但你也许要一个很强大的力量来支持你。
因为是他们，你才愿意面对大家的指指点点。

谎言和真实，往往都是一个念头和一个字的差别。
只是你要如何解决这摊难。
而撒了谎，你又如何保持自己的中庸之道，不受影响，不随着你的编的谎言，迷失了自己。
电影的背后，看到了我们的人性。

无论是用什么角度观赏这部电影，它还真的一部非常棒的影片。
=)
*
钱钱钱。
那天还了老爸机票的钱，银行户口的数目字一下子变得很可悲。
连我都快要哭了。

我要找工作了。
当然我还是会照顾我的学业的。
也许会影响健康而已。。。
但不管啦~
我要赚外快，就必须得一点点牺牲吧~

而且再怎么说，我是心甘情愿的。
怨言多多少少有一点，可是我还是愿意行动的。

为了梦想，为了欢乐，为了假期，兼职，钱币，我来了！
*
正式倒数8个月。

还有8个月而已，我就能感受他牵我手的力量。
我就能什么都不想，安静地在他怀里取暖。
我就能想说什么就说什么，不用担心任何字眼会带来的敏感。
我就能自在地在他面前，疯狂地表现我自己。
我也知道，当时的我，是很安全地陪伴在他身边。

就8个月而已。
我就只需持续加油8个月。
到时我爱怎样，就可以好无顾忌地在他面前表现出来。

亲爱的，是不是有点迫不及待了呢？
哈哈~
今天还在班上小小炫耀了一下。
哈哈~
我好想你噢~

Sucky day =(

2011-04-16T12:02:00.002+08:00

It's raining and i'm suppose to be on the train, on my way to meet my friends.
Woke up and look at the sky.
It's dark and i can smell the aroma of rain.
Mood went straight downhill and it kill my thoughts of going out.

Told mum i'm not going out.
Sucks to walk under the rain.
I dont feel like getting wet today.
Not today.

I didnt text my friends, i just let it be.
After all, they might be busy with their works and couldnt bother to look at their phones.
So i ate my healthy breakfast and had a nice chat with bro.

After that, watch a few variety shows and i took a shower.
Still, no sign of rain is getting small.
I cant lift up my mood again.
Therefore i'm here blogging of how life can be miserable when a rain kills your day.
Haha~
*
Cant believe it's weekend now.
Like what Cheesie wrote in her twitter, "Didnt realize it's weekend oredi. Rebecca Black ate the whole week. T_T"
Well, i kinda agree with that.
Because my college mates had been singing her song for the whole entire week.
They even keep finding parody videos on youtube and play it louder like there's no one in the room.

Thanks to them, the songs is now currently stuck in my head like elephant glue.
It cant be taken off easily.
Argh~
Some more the worst part of it, the song aint nice at all.
It felt stupid and annoying.
Oops~ sorry, got carried away.

Anyway, i still have no idea how should i spend my weekend.
But i dont feel like going out at all.
I'm broke now and i desperately need a job to earn income.
I can feel my tears when i went to check my savings in my bank account.
How pathetic it was.
Haiz~

So, staying at home, at least i'm not spending money.
But i also need extra income.
Help?
*
He's suffering from minor Gastroenteritis.
And i cant help anything at all.
It feel sucks.

Man, how can i not be worried all the time?
Surf the net to see if i really can help out, but none of it comfort my mood.
Sucks!
Haiz~
I cant do anything but pray that he'll get well soon.

I dont know if i was my fault.
All my bad lucks seem to transfer to him.
Last year, i really had a bad health year.
I never once feel better.
But this year, he keep falling sick.
I strongly doubt that it was my bad luck.
Damn~ I shouldnt stay so close with him, now look what i have done.

Dear, please take care and try to consume some foods to build energy for your body.
They need at least some energy and heat to kill bacteria in your body.
Or at least drink as much as water as you can.
I'm sorry that i cant help out.
Promise me that you'll get well soon.

I miss you...

哭笑不得

2011-04-14T13:38:00.002+08:00

话说，昨天在凌晨时就开始听到雨声了。
早上起床时，还在倾盆大雨。
本来是没什么想理会，反正Nikki是不可能早到的。

准时7点20分从家里出发，到火车站7点半。
火车也蛮准时到的。
不到40分，就已经看到Nikki了。

上了车，也开始了行程。
不用说，一定是塞车了。
也很严重的。
平时只要5分钟的地方，我就塞在那个地方要将近20分。
更何况是其他地方。
听到交通咨询，说是LDP发生了一场交通意外，正在清理现场，才导致这么严重的塞车。

也就算了。
Nikki睡觉；我则开电台。
听到歌曲就开到大大声。
一方面是解闷，另一方面是打起精神，不要打瞌睡。

后来也开进了高速公路。那时已经8点40分了。
也不用问，高速公路一定是塞车的。
不过情况比较好一点，至少还能动的。
有机会开快点，就拼命地踩油门。

终于9点10分了，到了学校。
原以为迟到了。
所以就匆匆忙忙地跑进班。
进到班，看到Omma坐在讲师位置上网，就知道讲师还没进班。
班上也有好多人还没到。

就在我们猜测讲师是不是也是塞车途中，一位助理讲师进班了，真的被我们说中了。
助理讲师也开始讲课。
等等，不是，是在分享他的一路来当导演的心得。
本来是有兴趣的话题，可是那位助理讲师的说话方式好像没什么自信，小小声，然后一直英语掺国语。
我们就在后面打闹。
讲话的讲话，睡觉的睡觉，假装听课的假装着。
我只是听下，没听一下。

不久，Management的人就进来宣布说有个讲座，要我们下去听。
我们就提早结束课，一大群走向Gallery。
可是就只有我们这一gang。
我们站在外面，怎样都不想进去。
最后我们决定出去吃“早餐+午餐”。
就这样我们很光明正大地出去吃东西了。

吃完了，哈拉一下，就回到家了。
回来跟老妈说，因为课很闷，所以翘课回家了。
接着就已一整天上网了。

就这样。
都不知道要用什么形容词来形容。
=P
*
亲爱的，今天考试哦~
不可以在班上作弊哦~
也不可以趁机看别的女人哦~
哈哈~

我在这边很好。
没什么好埋怨的。
要也只是一直在讲早晨塞车的事件。
其余的都很好。

还有，谢谢你那天的惊喜哦~
害我不能入眠。
真的很期待那天的到来。
好希望有你的陪伴，有你在我身边，仿佛我拥有了全世界的幸福。
谢谢你常常让我有这样的感觉。
我会小心呵护这感觉，不会轻易让它消失的。

亲爱的，我今天好想你哦~
<3

Independent?

2011-04-12T13:46:00.003+08:00

I've also wonder, how life would be, if i moved out, live alone in a small apartment, without my family's protection?

Really.
I'm always curious with it.

I dont know where i got this idea, but it had been in mind for years.
Sometimes i do mention, how i would like to moved out and survive alone.
I might just want to give myself a shot of looking how cruel life can be.
Or maybe to train myself how independent and tough i can be.

No matter what's the reason, it never was because of what had happened in my family.
Yes, conflicts+quarrels+fights do make me blind for a while.
It make me want moved out more badly.
But at the end of the day, when everything is back to normal, i know it's all because of me.

You might say i'm childish or foolish.
There are people out there are desperate, searching for this kind of warmth.
While, me, wants to moved out and challenge myself.
How bravo am i.

But, ya, i know this is still a dream and i had a long journey to ride on.
I only want to rant it out more specifically.
Nothing much to be bothered either.

讨厌的懒虫鬼！

2011-04-10T12:56:00.003+08:00

厚~
最近都一直在找借口，不做事情。

说要收拾衣橱，也一直在“自我安慰”。
怎样都不动手去收拾。
说要洗车，一看到天气不美，就打消念头了。
所以，直到现在还是没洗到。

天啊~
李依琳，你何时变到这么懒？！
快把身上的懒虫给拔光，然后开始行动啦~

按着良心讲，我还有点责怪是因为上学期的时间表和两个星期在家无聊。
因为都太懒懒散散，以致认为明天还有时间可以收拾。
怎知，就一拖再拖，到现在都还没行动到。

你现在也不要问我何时才会行动。
我自己现在也不知道该怎么办。

唉~
李依琳，你真的很够力哦！！！
*
Writing for Different Media是讲师就是上次教我们的Principle Of Journalism。
没错，就是他。

这次的他，好像改变了。
我不知道，可是打从开课的第一堂课，就可以很明显地感觉到。
他，虽然还是会酸人，可是也会让步听听我们的意见。
这种感觉，我还真的有点不习惯。

我不知道他是为了要和我们和好，还是有人投诉，或者他真的有心要改变。
我还是不习惯。
也不是很想去习惯。
毕竟我对他的疙瘩还没完全恢复。
是的，我对他还是有点偏见。
可是这次的改变，我是否要重新考虑呢？

上一堂课，他说了一句重点话。
“以前我都认为你们什么都知道，你们都知道了很多事情。可是我高估了你们，我放太多期望在你们身上了。但我最后还是发现，你们有些人跟不上我的脚步，也因此自暴自弃。我感到很抱歉，所以这次我会放慢脚步，与你们一起同步努力。”
听得出来，他这些话，都是很诚信的，也很虔诚。

但，很抱歉，我真的很不习惯。
我宁愿我一直这样对他有偏见，也不想做任何改变。

也许我是害怕他这只是前头戏，到了后面就会反咬我们一口。
那我真的很甘愿一直这样偏见下去。
也不要被一个我很尊重的讲师给被背叛。

或者，我想太多了。
或者，他真的很想与我们同步努力。
那，我就知道让时间来决定着一切。。。
*

Hero by Enrique Iglesias

2011-04-08T12:13:00.002+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

(I can be your hero)
Would you dance
If I asked you to dance?
Would you run
And never look back?
Would you cry
If you saw me crying?
And would you save my soul, tonight?
Would you tremble
If I touched your lips?
Would you laugh?
Oh please tell me this.
Now would you die
For the one you loved?
Hold me in your arms, tonight.
I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.
Would you swear
That you’ll always be mine?
Or would you lie?
would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don’t care...
You’re here tonight.
I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.
(music)
Oh, I just want to hold you.
I just want to hold you.Oh..yeah...
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don’t care...
You’re here tonight.
I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by your forever.
You can take my breath away.
I can be your hero.
I can kiss away the pain.
And I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.
You can take my breath away.
I can be your hero.
*
I had been dreaming weird dreams for the past weeks.
All of them had weird story plot and sometimes i really couldnt explain it why i had it.

Like there is once, i dream there's a bunch of Hong Kong actors and actresses are in a hospital and waiting for a baby to be deliver.
And then out of nowhere, someone yelled and said, "Someone please guard the baby room. Who knows an Indonesian will steal the baby away!"
So, most of the people started to move to the baby room.
Leaving some in the hall waiting in the delivery room.
Then, i cant remember what's going later.

Then there is another time, i dream i was in an airport. (Dont ask where is it, but i know it's an airport.)
I was queuing up in the line for checking in.
My flight destination was to Taiwan. Flight time was 9am.
After checking in, i wandered in the airport with my family.
I can still remember i was in this shop, with green color wall, selling souvenirs.
We were happy and keep looking at everything.
Then suddenly, i looked at my watch and it says 1pm!
I've missed my flight!
Still, no one inform me.
Then i woke up in panic.

The last one i dream was, i was in an empty space.
The space was dirty and wet.
But there's nothing in there.
Only a window, with sunlight showering in the space.
I was wearing a fancy floral dress and bare foot.
I was wearing make up too.
I keep walking and walking and walking in that limited space.
But i know i murmuring something. I couldnt recall back what i was saying.
I cant feel anything but the sunlight was warm and i loved it.
The next thing i knew, my alarm start ringing. And i woke up.

See, anyone knows how to read dream.
Or at least explain what is the last dream connotes?
I seriously dont know what's in my mind, or it's just purely a dream.
Either way, i still gotta stay strong.
No matter where i'll be in my dream, i must be strong!
*
He told me a good news and bad news.
Good news: He might coming back during summer break.
Bad news: The air ticket is way too freaking expensive and he cant afford it.
Haha~
Damn, he sure know how to make my day.
Haha~

After we ended the conversation, i found out i was faking my laugh.
Yes, dear, you gave a me hope and you distinguish it.
Though i was hurt at some point, yet i'm glad you told me.
I mean it's really tough for us sometimes.
We really want to see each other, but sometimes, circumstances and obstacles wont allow us.
We had to fight our way and stand strong with our belief.
No, i'm blaming you for distinguish it.
Instead, i felt relief, as i know what you were thinking, not dumping me into my nasty mind again.
That's why i had the courage to reject your idea.
Please dont blame me for being selfish but you knew i was doing what is the best for you.
It aint worth it, from the price of view.

But, do be patience.
We'll be seeing each other in another 8months.
I can hold your hands again.
I can see your smile again.
I can hear your voice beside my ears again.
I can feel your warmth in your hug again.
I can be myself in front of you again.
Less than 9months and we'll be together again.

Dear, i miss you more than ever...